The Dirty Thirst
by ClairefromAyr
Summary: A wee bit of blood play fun from season 1 when Stefan is struggling with addiction to human blood again and Damon tries to help him after almost killing Amber at the Miss Mystic Competition. Warnings for vampcest, M/M, blood sharing etc.
1. Chapter 1

The Dirty Thirst

Damon had been watching him closely, watching for signs that he would completely fall off of the wagon but as usual Stefan was trying to be a martyr. Stefan would have them all believe that he was fine, but he was so not fine it was unreal. As usual Stefan denied his cravings and tried to fight it. When would he learn that in order to get the monster off your back you had to confront it in order for it not to get the best of you?

"Right now is not a good time for me to be worrying about you snapping Stefan." Damon emphasized as Stefan smiled on at him smugly and shook his head. He had been trying to get through to him all day and Stefan just wasn't hearing him. Right now John Gilbert had the council in his pocket and they were all in danger because of it. Stefan was so inside his head, he was clueless. Damon held his eyes for a minute, trying to make his point more emphatic.

"I know that it pains you, to see this…but I'm fine." Stefan leaned in and squeezed his shoulder. Damon gave out a laugh of disbelief and humour. "Ok? I'm fine." Damon raised his eyebrows and nodded in jest as Stefan reached into the freezer of blood that he had stolen from the hospital. "So just do me a favour and back off." Stefan smiled with warning tones in his voice, before walking away and leaving Damon to put his hands on his hips and exhale in frustration as he looked at how much blood Stefan had stock piled.

He was going to have to watch him like a hawk, while trying to placate Elena and deal with John and the council. No small task then. _Thanks a lot brother._ Since when was it his responsibility to look after everyone? Saint Stefan should be the one to do all of this running around. As much as he had jested and tortured Stefan about his high sensibilities, the thought that that part of him might be taken over by the ripper again, horrified Damon. This wasn't just a case of Stefan being moody and acting out for a while. When Stefan fell off the wagon he fell hard and the last time he had fallen so hard that Damon hadn't been able to cope and had to flee. That wasn't an option now, not when there were so many people here to care about and protect. If he had too, he might have to lock Stefan away or take him away from Mystic Falls. He couldn't risk Stefan losing it completely here, not with Elena so close at hand. He closed the freezer and leaned against it as he tried to plan.

He had had to tell Elena. She needed to know what was happening here. Of course she hadn't wanted to believe him but she couldn't deny what her own instincts were telling her. Stefan had been mad at him for that, but screw him. He couldn't have known Stefan would go on a rampage and feed on Amber in the woods while he danced merrily along with Elena, pretending not to be concerned. He had pushed Stefan and Stefan had fallen completely. Damon fretted and tried to appear cool and confident for Elena as they headed out into the grounds of the Lockwood property. Elena insisted on coming with him. They heard a scream from the woods and ran following the noise to find Stefan feeding from a screaming, half conscious Amber. Elena cried out horrified and Stefan dropped the girl.

"Come on, get control of it, come on." Damon had lulled him, putting his body between Stefan and Elena warily as he tried to get Stefan's brain working. "It's ok, come on. Breathe through it man." He stepped closer and tried to squeeze Stefan's shoulder as Stefan became panicked and distressed, blood running out of his mouth as he drew in deep gasps and hyperventilated. Stefan looked at him as though he didn't know who he was and that set Damon's heart thundering.

"Stefan, calm down brother, just breathe for me!" Damon said with a little more fear in his resolve as Stefan continued to stare at him panting. Suddenly Stefan lunged forward and grabbed him, biting into his neck painfully. Damon choked in surprise and held Stefan to him, trying to get control of him and push him away but Stefan threw him into the air a few feet away from him and Damon groaned as he hit the ground. Elena was sobbing and Stefan continued to pant. Damon got to his feet unsteadily and looked towards him again. Stefan was staring at him with a look Damon had never seen before. Stefan was hungry for _him_. Damon shook himself a little in confusion, trying to clear his head. Stefan had drank from him. What the hell? What was happening? Stefan growled and began to march towards him and Damon shrank back for a second.

"Stefan stop it!" Elena cried in fear but Stefan only paused as Damon frowned and tried to read his body language.

"Brother…" Damon put his hands out trying to calm him but Stefan bore his fangs at him and dove for him again. He knocked Damon into the tree behind him and Elena screamed. Stefan kept snapping at him, trying to drink from him again and Damon struggled against him. Stefan had drank so much human blood today, it was like fighting against a titan and Damon knew he was going to lose.

"Elena! Get Bonnie!" Damon shouted urgently and she ran as fast as she could as Stefan's eyes clouded over with hunger and he bit into Damon's neck again. Damon growled furiously but Stefan forced him against the tree, crushing him as he drank until Damon began to weaken. Stefan was like a rabid animal as he moaned and dripped blood all over the two of them, until he started to scream and let go of Damon as he fell to his knees and grabbed his head. Damon leaned back against the tree weakly while he tried to gather his wits and Stefan screamed on. Damon looked over as two figures approached and he groaned as he struggled to stay on his feet.

"Damon!" Elena shouted and he gave her a weak nod to say he was ok. Stefan began to sob and grabbed Damon's ankle desperately and Damon looked down into his face. Stefan looked up at him begging him to help stop the pain and Damon sighed in fatigue. He looked up to Bonnie.

"Stop! He's had enough. I've got him." Damon called to her but she looked at him sceptically as he pushed himself off from the balancing tree behind him and tried to stand up straight and confident. Stefan was whimpering by his feet and still holding his ankle like a stabiliser. "Enough!" Damon shouted with more authority this time and Bonnie begrudgingly took a step back and dropped her eyes to the ground to break the spell. Stefan collapsed and hugged Damon's legs as he breathed. "Thank you." Damon said in gratitude but she scowled at him, shaking her head and walked back to stand by Elena, putting her arm around her. Elena was shaking and watching Stefan with eyes full of tears.

"It's going to be ok brother." Damon lulled and Stefan slowly got to his feet staggering slightly. He turned to look at Elena. She looked beyond horrified and heartbroken and he couldn't take the expression on her face. He began to panic again and looked to Damon's neck, to how badly he had hurt his own brother. He let out a remorseful sound and Damon tried to speak to him again. He couldn't be here. He had to get away. He backed away and ran as fast as he could away from the mess he had created with Damon shouting after him.

He ran all the way home as though he was on autopilot. It felt good to run, it helped him control himself. Exercise had always been such an aid to helping him in the past. Maybe if he just kept running it would be ok. He got into the Boarding House and climbed the stairs to his room as fear and revulsion washed over him. What had he done? He'd almost killed that girl. Elena had seen everything! Elena looked so disgusted. She was never going to be able to forgive him! He began to throwing things around his room wildly. Everything was ruined!

He fell onto the floor and put his head between his knees as he tried to breathe. Damon. Damon had tried to calm him down and he had attacked him. No…more than that. Stefan raised his head as he replayed it all in his mind. He hadn't just attacked Damon, he had drank from him. He exhaled loudly as he shook his head. Why had he done that? He'd bitten into his neck and began to feed and it had been amazing. Damon hadn't tasted so different from the human blood. It had made him want more. He began to weep and freak out internally as he replayed the satisfaction he had gotten from drinking from his own brother, pinning him against a tree and drinking him until Damon couldn't resist any longer. He let out a sound of anxiety as he realised how aroused he had been, how much desire he had had to take Damon's last drop and drop him to the ground to desiccate. What the hell was wrong with him? Damon wasn't food, Damon was his brother!

"Oh my god…" He cried, putting his head between his knees again. He was so deep in his own misery and despair that he missed the sound of footsteps creeping up the stairs towards him. He looked up sharply when he smelled her scent.

"You shouldn't be here." He said, trying to calm himself. She still looked frightened but she was trying to be brave.

"I know."

"Now you know." He said bluntly. She shook her head sadly.

"That wasn't you."

"No it was absolutely me. I'm a monster, a predator, it's who I am Elena."

"That was just the blood."

"The blood brings out what's inside of me and if you think any different then you're an idiot."

"I know this isn't you Stefan." She continued, unwilling to believe and he scoffed and stood up.

"I wanted to drain every drop from that girl's body…from Damon's body."

"No…"

"It's who I am Elena!" He was getting frustrated again.

"This isn't you." She said emphatically.

"Stop saying that!" He roared, knocking over a table next to him as he began to pace. "You don't understand, you don't know what you're talking about!"

"I'm not going to give up on you. I believe in you!" She countered, approaching him as he growled and fidgeted.

"Stop!" He warned and she took a step closer again. She was too close. He could smell the blood under her skin and he knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself from going for her much longer. He had to scare her enough to leave. He dove at her and shouted. "Stop!"

She screamed and shed some tears as he pinned her against his wardrobe and he pulled back to see her fear and pain. It ripped through him like a tornado. He pulled back to arms length and realised what he had done and he softened as he felt like sobbing.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…" He began and she shushed him and put her arms around him as he sobbed against her shoulder.

"You're going to be ok." She whispered comfortingly and he closed his eyes. He exhaled into her shoulder as she raised her arm and stabbed him with a vervain needle. His whole body jolted in surprise and he choked as he pulled back to look at her. He couldn't hold on long enough to utter a word before he felt himself slip into unconsciousness. Elena looked down at his body mournfully as Damon stepped into the room. They made eye contact and Damon gave her a reassuring smile.

"Are you ok?" She asked, looking at the bloodstains all over his clothing. She hadn't known a vampire to feed on another vampire before. It had been so strange and Damon had seemed just as confused an unprepared for it as she had. Damon gave her a small smile and nodded as he looked to Stefan.

"What happened out there?" She asked, looking Damon over for signs that he may need to feed. He looked paler than usual. Could a vampire die by having their blood drank?

"Vampire nature 101." He said. "You sure you wanna do this?"

"Yip." She said confidently. "I wanna lock him in the cellar until we can dry him out. We have to get him back on the animal blood again before we lose him." Damon nodded and sighed. He moved forward and leaned down to pick Stefan up. He seemed to groan a little at the effort and Elena watched him closely.

"Do you need blood? It looked like he took a lot from you." She commented as Damon carried Stefan down to the basement and lay him down.

"I'm fine."

"Damon. Was that normal?" She squeezed his arm and he looked at her and frowned.

"We're vampires Elena. We hunt, we play with our prey and then we feed. Think of us like cats in that fashion. Amber was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"No, Damon he bit you." She held his gaze as she raised her eyebrows. "Is that normal?"

"There is no normal for a vampire. I stood in his way so he went for me. It's as simple as that."

"Yeah but he drank from you. He let _me_ escape and run to Bonnie while he fed on _you_." She pointed out and he tightened his expression.

"He was hungry. The thirst takes over your brain. Don't worry about it, I'm fine." He offered, hoping she would drop the subject. Truth was, he had no idea why Stefan had done that either and it made his stomach churn with worry. She seemed unhappy with his explanation but she nodded anyway and gave him a tight smile as they ascended the stairs together and left Stefan to sleep it off.

The next morning Stefan awoke alone in the cellar and he groaned as he rolled onto his back feeling nauseous. She had vervained him. He groaned miserably. His head thumped as though he had the worst hangover in the world.

"Morning brother. How's the come down?" Damon approached the bars on the door and looked in at him. Stefan sat up slowly and avoided his eyes. "Brought you some breakfast. It's 100% Stefan diet approved." Stefan continued to stare at the ground and ignore him. "You know what'll happen if you don't eat. You'll get all rotten and crusty."

"I'm not hungry." Stefan mumbled quietly and Damon snorted.

"Of course you are. We're eternally hungry. The human blood should be gone by now, you wanna explain why you're still in here feeling sorry for yourself? Come on, drink up." Damon pushed the bottle of animal blood through the bars and onto the floor in front of Stefan's feet. Stefan looked at it and let the veins in his eyes protrude, but he didn't reach for it.

"What's wrong, Bambi not tasty enough for you now that you've tasted the good stuff?" Damon smirked and pointed to his neck jokingly. Stefan looked up at him in horror and Damon's smile disappeared. They looked at each other for a few seconds as an air of unease filled the space between them. Damon cleared his throat to end the silence and smirked again, trying to brush off how uncomfortable he felt right now and Stefan looked down at the floor again.

"Fine. Starve. What do I care?" Damon said sarcastically and went to walk away.

"Damon." Stefan mumbled and Damon paused and exhaled. He turned around a walked back to the window. Stefan looked up at him nervously.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened."

"I'll tell you what happened Stef, you fooled yourself into thinking you could harvest a whole ward worth of blood in our cellar and drink it all yourself, in spite of how many times I warned you this would happen and then you almost blew our cover!" Damon sneered and Stefan gulped.

"I know."

"Good for you. Happy days! Now get over yourself and come out and face the music brother because we have problems down here on planet earth and I'm tired of babysitting your girlfriend." Damon pulled open the bolt on the door and opened it huffing impatiently. Stefan got to his feet slowly and looked to him.

"I can't. I'm not in control."

"Boohoo. Get control and stop feeling sorry for yourself." Damon sighed bored as Stefan took a deep breath and chewed his lip. "I keep telling you, you can't control the urges until you accept that they are part of you. They're normal Stefan. The more you fight that, the harder you make this for yourself."

"It's not as easy as that!" Stefan snapped at him and Damon sighed again. "How am I supposed to vent this? How am I supposed to replace the need to hunt and bite into someone's flesh? Huh? You've got it all worked out so why don't you tell me? Oh, that's right, you can still drink human blood. Hooray for you!" Stefan fumed and clenched his fists as Damon leaned against the wall and listened to the tirade.

"You could drink it too, you just need to learn not to drink everyone in sight." Damon said calmly. The events of last night replayed in Stefan's head again as he relived drinking from the girl and then from Damon too. He hadn't been able to stop.

"I drank from you." Stefan said gravely and Damon tensed a little. Were they really going to talk about this? "I drank from you." Stefan emphasised again, trying to get a response from Damon.

"Yeah I was there for that part." Damon said sounding irritated, folding his arms across his chest.

"I don't know what happened."

"Hmmn." Damon sounded frowning.

"I just…I had all of this adrenaline and I needed to get it out. I needed to feed and do something. I thought I might explode if I didn't. You were there." Stefan said, avoiding his eyes as Damon studied him. Drinking another vampire's blood was a very intimate act. It was akin to sex when both parties shared their blood. Thankfully Stefan had felt no such urges or connection with Damon, he merely had to feed on someone and Damon had been right there in front of him. A few moments passed in silence as neither of them knew what to say.

"Did it help?" Damon asked, finally breaking the tension. Stefan sat down on the sandbags behind him and sighed.

"Yes." It really had helped him. It was lucky that Damon had been there. At least he knew that he couldn't kill him by feeding on him. If he hadn't been his new prey it could have been Elena and he would certainly have killed her. He let out a puff of air as he thought on it. Damon clicked his tongue and sighed.

"Ok." Damon said calmly and Stefan looked up at him.

"Huh?"

"Use _me_."

"What?"

"When you feel yourself slipping and you need to hunt and feed, feed on me."

"What are you talking about?" Stefan laughed in disbelief but Damon's expression was calm and clear.

"I need you above ground right now, not hiding down here Stefan. If the urge to drink from a person becomes too much for you to control, feed on me. You can't kill me and I'll heal."

"Are you serious?!" Stefan stood up horrified and Damon huffed in annoyance.

"You think I want you to feed on me? Of course I don't! But I can't have you running around ripping people apart and ruining our cover. It's either this or I have to put you down for a while in the crypt." Damon was angry, angry and frustrated and Stefan's heart raced as he saw how serious Damon was being. Stefan opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out as he tried to figure out what to say, how to respond.

"What's it to be?" Damon stepped towards him, his arms still folded confidently and Stefan took a breath to speak again.

"Ok." He squeaked.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 TDT

Stefan lay awake tossing and turning in his room as he considered Damon's suggestion. It was absurd and insane. It would never work anyways. You couldn't replace the hunt and thrill of the feeding when you had to do it with your vampire brother and not a human. It would never work. Still, he had agreed to try it if he thought he was losing control. It had been the only way to promise Damon that he'd try and sort himself out. He wasn't exactly sure what this would mean for them if he did have to feed on Damon. Could he? He had done it the other night but it had been in the heat of the moment, sparked by the lust of drinking from Amber. It hadn't been about Damon.

He turned onto his side and sighed. He hadn't seen Elena yet. He wanted to call her but he wasn't sure how he could face her. She'd tried to come around to see him today but thankfully Damon had advised her not to. He had listened as she had argued with him but Damon came through for him despite it. He wouldn't have been able to handle her today, not so soon after everything. Thankfully Damon had known that and stood his ground. It was funny how protective Damon still was, despite the fact that he proclaimed to hate him and not care about him. Stefan had always suspected it was a lie. He hadn't known until he had grabbed for Damon in desperation when Bonnie was hurting him, that Damon still had that same sense of brotherly love and protectiveness that he always had for him. Now Damon was willing to be prey to him if he needed him. Insane.

The next morning Stefan dragged himself out of bed and out to hunt. He had to try and get himself under control. He stopped in the lounge for a quick drink of bourbon to help stifle his cravings before he ventured outside when he smelled it. Damon had left a tiny amount of blood in the bottom of a glass, sitting on the table. He inhaled sharply and looked over at it. Damon hadn't meant to. It probably hadn't occurred to him that Stefan would notice it, but Stefan's whole body vibrated at the smell of even that small amount. He tensed up and tried to focus on his breathing calmly. He turned and left the house quickly in search of a deer. The forest was thick with deer at this time of year and he needed to find one quickly.

He drank his fill of the animal blood and tried to keep it down. It tasted awful again and he was unsatisfied. It resonated through him just how unfair it all was. He'd never met another vampire who struggled so much with drinking blood. He was a vampire for god sake, he should be able to feed without becoming a lunatic so why had it always been so hard for him? Damon could drink as much or as little human blood as he needed and he had no problems. It wasn't fair! He wanted to feed like that. Why should he have to suffer the rank taste of animals? He grew more frustrated and angry the longer he thought on the injustice of it all. He had to get to grips with it. This was the way things were and they weren't going to change. He had to get back to normal quickly for Elena. He'd scared her so much last night with his outburst. She might not want to be with him anymore.

He dragged himself back into the Boarding House sullenly to find Damon sitting by the fire, inspecting his arm wincing.

"You ok?" Stefan approached in curiosity and Damon looked up at him and exhaled.

"Got into a little scuffle with John Gilbert. He thinks I have something he's looking for." Damon explained tersely as he rolled his shirt sleeve back down to hide the cut.

"He attacked you?"

"Please." Damon snorted. "That man couldn't hurt me if he tried Stefan."

"You're bleeding."

"Just a flesh wound." Damon smiled patronisingly. "How was your lunch?"

"Fine." Stefan lied and Damon smirked again and shook his head. "Back to denial again are we?"

"Alright I almost threw up. Is that what you want to hear?" Stefan sniped.

"Don't kid yourself is all I'm saying. Why don't you try a small glass of O Neg and see how you get on?" Damon suggested and Stefan shook his head. "I won't let you drink any more than that. Just try and do it and breathe. You just need to learn to pace yourself. If you can handle one glass and be content you can gain some control. It's like any addiction."

"We've been over and over this, I can't do it."

"Cold turkey is never the way to go Stef. You can't handle it when you slip up. 20 steps doesn't work for you." Damon eyed him as Stefan sighed and put his hands on his hips. "What if Elena got a cut or something? Huh?" Stefan looked at him. "What if she bled in front of you? If you never expose yourself to human blood you'll have a harder time fighting it off than if you drink it in small doses regularly. It won't seem so taboo and forbidden. If you wanna keep eating Disney animals then feel free, but a little human element consensually given in the form of a blood bag will make you stronger and less prone to relapse."

Maybe Damon was right. He really didn't want him to be but his logic was sound.

"Has Elena called?"

"Only like a billion times." Damon smiled at him in jest and Stefan took a deep breath. He nodded and began to walk away. He had to face the music and see her. He reached the door and opened it before pondering on what Damon had related about John.

"Damon." He turned to look at him. Damon raised his eyebrows. "This thing John thinks you have. What is it?"

"I don't know yet." Damon huffed.

"Do you have it?" Stefan asked and Damon shot him his innocent look and smiled back at him. "Is it safe?"

"Safe as houses." Damon smirked and Stefan gave him a tight smile.

"I'll be back later and you can fill me in."

"Don't worry yourself brother, the world can just collapse around our feet while you go and suck up to your girlfriend. No pressure!" Damon joked but Stefan could tell he meant it. He swallowed feeling guilty for having gone so off the rails and leaving Damon to worry on his own. He gave him a quick nod and left.

Damon gave a chuckle as Stefan raced away in his car. Saint Stefan. How could he be the age he was and still think like a teenager? They had bigger problems that kissing up to girlfriends right now. A lot bigger. John Gilbert was a stone throw from exposing them and thanks to his ring, he was harder to kill. He just hoped that Stefan would pull himself together now and help him.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Elena was being an angel as always. Stefan didn't deserve her at all. He sat down on her bed and listened to her talk about her problems with Jeremy. It seemed like Jeremy was working it all out and that scared her. She sacrificed so much to shield him from all of this.

"You should talk to him. Find out what he knows." He suggested and she nodded absentmindedly.

"With everything that's been going on, Isobel, John, the council…I haven't even told him that I'm adopted yet." She sighed and looked at him torn. He squeezed her hand in consolation. "How are you doing now? Are the cravings…"

"They're still hard but I think the worst is over now." He tried to give her his most reassuring smile. She looked down at the pillow beneath her and blushed slightly, making him tilt his head in curiosity.

"The other night, you were so…"

"I'm so sorry Elena. I've worked so hard for a long time to keep that part of me suppressed." He gulped.

"Were you always like that when you drank human blood?" She flicked her eyes up to him nervously.

"Most of the time." He replied honestly, waiting for her to call it quits to their relationship any minute.

"I didn't know you could feed from vampire blood too." He looked at her and felt his body tense. He didn't know what to say. "When you bit Damon, it seemed like you were feeding. You weren't just fighting with him, you…seemed to enjoy it."

He felt himself completely unprepared for this conversation. He rose from the bed slowly and walked over to look out of her window as she sat up and looked at him.

"Could you survive on drinking from other vampires?" She prodded. He folded his arms around himself as he considered how to respond.

"I don't know. Maybe. I've never tried." He struggled.

"You've never drank from one before now?" She just didn't get how uncomfortable this conversation was for him. She didn't understand about blood sharing and what it meant. How could he tell her that he had drank from others before only when they were being intimate sexually? It would make her believe that drinking from Damon was disgusting and sexual and that wasn't it. There was so much more to it than that. He didn't desire his brother sexually. He had just been so desperate, so hungry. When you were a vampire hunger blended everything together – love, hate, lust, sexual desire and formed one thing…hunger. Hunger like that didn't have any stipulations. Damon understood that, that's why he had made his offer to support him through this stage. Only another vampire could possibly understand.

"If you could survive on it, maybe…" She began and he turned around to face her.

"Elena, drinking from another vampire isn't something I'm interested in. Besides, me and Damon are the only ones in Mystic Falls." He said.

"There's Pearl and Anna." She pointed out and he sighed exasperated.

"I think sticking to animals is a better idea. If we could survive on vampire blood we wouldn't need people." She seemed to accept his answer and he breathed in relief. He moved back to sit on the bed with her and kissed her softly. He just wanted this whole mess to be over and to move on. He'd managed his animal feed today and it would get easier with time, he just had to stick with it no matter what Damon said.

Elena deepened their kiss and he sighed into her mouth peacefully. They lay back gently on her bed and held each other. He'd missed these gentle moments amid his faking of normalcy. He began to feel aroused as the heat of her body warmed him. He wanted her and he could tell she felt the same. He began to stroke up her sides, under her t-shirt as she gyrated. She was so warm inside, he loved it when they made love. His kisses became more heated as she pulled at his hips and he began to kiss down her throat as he lifted her shirt off. She was glorious and without a bra as he traced his lips down over her breasts. She hummed and urged him to continue as he got lost in her scent. He could smell her desire as he approached the top of her jeans and he hummed over her groin through the denim to make her gasp at the vibration radiating through her sex. She tilted up and he removed her jeans and panties. She was already swollen and ready for him and he smiled in lust and pulled his jeans off. He slid between her legs and began to kiss her again as he stroked over her folds with his fingertips gently enough to make her heart race.

"Uhhh…" She moaned and he carefully pushed himself inside of her as she closed her eyes. He moaned at her heat and began to move, still kissing her mouth passionately. Sex with her was always wonderful and he knew he would feel better after this. The gentler he was, the more she sweated and moaned, till he had to lay his head in her neck to stop himself from wanting to thrust harder into her. She was so fragile and breakable, he always had to stay in control when he was inside of her. The smell of her blood quickly caught his attention and he blinked and tried to focus on the sensations around his manhood instead. Sex was always consuming and he had hoped that the call of the blood would be drowned out by the ecstacy of sex. He moaned as he felt the beginning of his climax start to build. He kissed her neck, dragging his lips along her skin as saliva filled his mouth. The smell was glorious. He lifted his head away from it and tried to focus on her face instead as he rocked into her a little more insistently now. She climaxed under him and he closed his eyes speeding up.

"Oh god…" He moaned and opened his eyes to see her pulse beat frantically in the skin of her neck. He stared at it as it throbbed and felt his eyes tingle. She looked up at his face and gasped in fear and he realised how close he was to her skin again. He'd leaned in without realising and she was scared. He quickly pulled out of her and threw himself backwards from the bed into the wall behind him as he fought with himself. She sat up in fear and stared at him as he closed his eyes and breathed. He had to get out of here. He stood up and put on his clothes in a blur while she cried out in surprise. He blurred out of there so fast that he left the door flying open as she grabbed her blanket from the bed and held herself.

Stefan ran like a madman. He'd almost bitten her. He knew he couldn't do this, he'd told Damon he wasn't ready to be out and about again! He got to the Boarding house and marched inside planning on giving Damon a piece of his mind when he caught the scent of blood again. He moaned in anguish as he walked into the lounge and found Damon drinking a glass of blood poured from a blood bag. Why was Damon being so careless? Was he trying to make this harder? Damon turned around in surprise at Stefan's entry and raised his eyebrows.

"I told you I wasn't ready! I told you and you still let me out!" Stefan shouted and Damon sat his glass down and looked at him in concern. "I almost bit Elena!"

"Remember we talked about breathing? Just take it easy. Control it!" Damon snapped at him, but kept his expression of concern despite his tone. Stefan growled still feeling charged up for an argument. "Is Elena ok?" He asked gently.

"No thanks to you!"

"What did I do?" He countered.

"You let me out!"

"Because you were being an idiot! For god sake have some back bone Stefan." Stefan fumed. "Weren't you the one who poured blood into me to make me a big bad vampire just like you? Own it Stefan, for pity sake."

Stefan closed his eyes and tried not let anger rule his brain. Damon was right. This wasn't his fault, not really. Stefan's inability to control his urges was his fault alone. He opened his eyes and looked to the glass Damon was holding still. Damon noticed and sat it down in his direction.

"If you want it, have some. Just remember that you only have one. Be satisfied with that. Remember you can have another tomorrow. There's no need to gorge. Drink this and have another tomorrow, ok? Just one." Damon advised and Stefan reached for it shakily. He had promised himself that he wouldn't do it Damon's way but he didn't feel like he could stop himself when it was being handed to him. He put the glass to his lips and drank it slowly. The taste exploded in his mouth and he closed his eyes. So much better than deer. Damon watched him closely as he finished it off and sat it down.

"Better?" Damon probed and Stefan felt his eyes still tingling.

"How much was in that?"

"Enough."

"That wasn't a whole blood bag." Stefan countered, already trying to think of excuses as to how he could have just a little more. Damon snorted.

"It was enough for now Stefan."

"You drank some of it too. How's that fair that I get your left overs?" Stefan walked over to him and Damon's eyes widened.

"Listen to me. That's the hunger talking. It doesn't matter what I would give you right now. I could give you ten blood bags and you would be feeling the same. Do you get that?" Damon squeezed his shoulders. "It's always going to feel the same, you just have to learn that what you're feeling isn't the truth of it. One glass a day is enough."

"I just want a full bag that's all. You have a full bag, why can't I?"

"Stefan." Damon gritted his teeth and Stefan caught sight of the traces of blood lingering inside Damon's mouth. Stefan zeroed in on his lips, noticing evidence of his feeding and Damon stepped back from him perturbed by the attention. The veins in Stefan's eyes tingled again and Damon huffed annoyed.

"Control it!" Damon spat.

"Screw this!" Stefan made to move down to the basement to get another bag when Damon grabbed his arm forcefully. Stefan growled and shoved him from him.

"It's not there anymore. I've hidden it." Damon shouted after him and Stefan stopped in his tracks. "Sorry. You're a liability. I will give you some more tomorrow but you'll just have to content yourself till then."

"Who do you think you are?!" Stefan shouted aggressively and Damon folded his arms. He dove for him, knocking Damon against a side table. Damon fell back and growled.

"No more human blood for you till you straighten out. I warned you!" Damon replied. Stefan roared and punched him. They began to fight brutally as Stefan vented his frustration. Damon didn't put up much of a fight and after five minutes Stefan realised that Damon was doing this to distract him, to tire him out and relieve some of the urge to drink again. He should have felt grateful but in honesty he still felt like Damon was playing him. He punched Damon's nose and it burst, making Damon groan as he brought his hands up to wipe the blood away protectively. Stefan seized his opportunity and grabbed him, pulling him forward as he bit into Damon's neck again. Damon yelled in surprise and fell back into a lamp, taking Stefan with him. Damon's blood tasted strongly of the O Neg he had just drank. It was almost as good as drinking from a blood bag itself. It was curious. The one benefit of drinking from Damon instead was that his blood was warm and spicey because of the element of vampire blood.

Stefan pressed himself into him and delighted in the taste as he gulped and ran his tongue over the wound to catch every drop pouring out of Damon's neck. Damon wasn't fighting him or struggling, just waiting for Stefan to feel satisfied. Stefan drank and drank until he began to feel calm and happy. He sighed peacefully and pulled his lips away. He sighed again and opened his eyes. Damon's eyes were closed and it brought Stefan back to reality. He pulled back to arms length and frowned. Damon opened his eyes groggily.

"I'm sorry…" Stefan stuttered and Damon exhaled loudly and closed his eyes again. "Damon?" Stefan cupped Damon's cheek in concern.

"It's alright." Damon mumbled. "I'm ok." Stefan stepped back from him shakily as Damon slumped leaning into the wall for support.

"I didn't mean to…"

"At least it was me brother." Damon opened his eyes again and gave him a weak smile. Stefan let out a shaky breath and bit his lip. "How do you feel?" Damon winced as he pushed himself away from the wall to stand on his own.

"Normal. I'm in control." Stefan assured him nervously and Damon nodded and began to move along the hallway towards the stairs.

"Damon can I get you something?" Stefan asked, desperate to know how he could help, if he could help. His mind was whirling over what was happening. Damon groaned and shook his head as he climbed the stairs with some effort and left Stefan to clear up the mess they had made.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Things were weird. Stefan didn't know if he felt it more than Damon as Damon seemed to act as though nothing had happened. Damon was used to acting like that but Stefan was struggling. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about how much he had enjoyed the feeding last night. It had been so simple, so convenient. Damon fed on the human blood he craved and if Stefan fed from him straight afterwards the blood still tasted as good, with the benefit of the fact that Damon wouldn't be permanently harmed by Stefan losing control. It seemed like a win win, except…it was Damon. All that aside, Stefan was finding that Damon's blood alone wasn't enough to keep him going. He still had to feed from mortal blood sources too. The life force in the blood of animals was still more potent than Damon's dead blood, it just didn't taste as good as his. If only he could have both…

He sat looking into the fire as Damon walked in casually and stopped in front of him. He looked up.

"One a day, just like I promised." Damon gave him a small sincere smile as he pulled a blood bag from his pocket. Stefan stared at it hungrily. "Alaric thinks he's found where Isobel might be hiding out. We're going to go check it out. I need you to be on form today and try and find out what this Gilbert device is." Stefan continued to stare at the blood bag and Damon huffed impatiently. "Stefan, are you listening to me?"

"Huh?" Stefan blinked and Damon frowned.

"I need you on form. Don't drink it too quickly."

"No, Damon I can't you saw me last night. I can't handle it." Stefan sat back in the sofa. "It's too strong."

"So dilute it then. Mix it with squirrel or rabbit or something." Damon suggested and Stefan thought about that. That could work.

"Maybe. It works when it mixes with your blood." Stefan mumbled as he considered that and Damon blinked at him and tightened his mouth. "I don't know why but I can control the urge better." Stefan explained and avoided Damon's eyes. Why was he telling him this? Did he want to actually ask Damon to let him drink from him instead of from a human source exclusively? He glanced up to Damon's expression and could see that Damon was frowning and trying to figure out what Stefan was intimating. He had to break the silence somehow.

"So Alaric thinks he's found Isobel?"

"Yeah." Damon seemed a little lost in thought as he answered and ran his thumb over the blood bag. He tucked it back in his pocket carefully and gave Stefan a tight smile. "Find out what this device is. We need to know why she wants it." He instructed and left the room as Stefan shook his head at being idiotic enough to keep bringing up the topic of his feeding needs. Damon rattled around for a while and Stefan pulled out his cell and texted Elena. He had to apologise about last night, if she'd let him. She might be done with him by now. As he typed away on the keypad with vamp speed, Damon walked back into the lounge and sat a glass down next to him. Stefan looked up in surprise but Damon simply left, grabbing his jacket as he closed the door and jumped into his car outside.

Stefan lifted the glass and was surprised to feel its warmth. He sniffed it. It was blood but he couldn't tell what kind. He took a tiny sip in curiosity and hummed as he swallowed. He looked over his shoulder to the front door as he realised what it was. Damon had put some of the blood bag into the glass and added some of his own too. He must have poured it straight from his vein because it was warm. Stefan rose to his feet and entered the kitchen. The half empty blood bag had been put back into the fridge and the knife Damon had used to cut his wrist open was in the sink. Stefan let out a sound of amazement. He couldn't believe Damon would do that for him. This bravado act Damon played really was all an act. Stefan had always known but now Damon was letting what was behind show. Perhaps he could start to trust him again. They had a long way to go to build on trust, but this could be a good start.

He returned to his seat in front of the fire and drank the blood gratefully and slowly as it warmed his insides. Elena agreed they needed to talk and he finished up the blood and headed out to meet her. They had lunch at the Grill. She was unsure of him again and he knew he deserved that, except now that he had been able to drink Damon's mix without needing to have more, he actually felt like there was light at the end of the tunnel. She could see this change in him and perked up a little. He could never tell her that he was still drinking Damon's blood though, that would have to remain a secret. She wouldn't understand.

A few crazy days went past with Damon acting normally and Stefan trying to figure him out still. Stefan had felt rattled and weary when Isobel had reared her head and brought Elena's world crashing down. Stefan had spent most of his time with her trying to get her through the pain of meeting a mother she'd never known she had, who had turned out in the end to be a heartless cruel specimen of vampire-kind. Damon had sulked and refused to help, making their lives as strained as usual. It seemed that he still didn't trust anyone's intentions.

Stefan didn't know how to figure out Damon's mind. He still made snide comments and seemed to hide things from them as though he was suspicious of him and yet he would let Stefan feed on him if he badly needed to. It just didn't make cogent sense to him. Was Damon's humanity on or off? Perhaps Damon didn't even know anymore. The only factor that kept ringing in Stefan's ears was that Damon felt for Elena. He'd suspected it for some time now but having Isobel of all people blatantly pick up on that, made it all the more real. He'd had to have a word with Damon about that. He came across sounding like a jealous boyfriend and he knew that but he had to say something. Damon was sly and clever in his response and made Stefan feel like he'd been played. How did Damon always manage to do that? Stefan had folded his arms and stared him out as Damon smirked.

"All of this arguing…wow! I'm famished." Damon smiled at him evilly, knowing how much it would piss him off. Stefan clenched his jaw. "Would you rather I eat upstairs? Save you the trauma?"

"Why are you doing this?" Stefan spat. Damon had been helping him with this so why was he throwing it back in his face all of a sudden? He knew just how embarrassed and humiliated Stefan was that he had to lean on him for support so heavily.

"Just trying to lighten your load brother." Damon winked.

"And here I thought you wanted to help me."

"Have I not been helping you? Have I not let you drink half of your body weight from me this week?" Damon gave a short laugh and Stefan tensed.

"Are you trying to lighten my load or throw your weight around to demonstrate how much I need you right now?"

"You're the one giving me a warning Stef. I'm just reminding you how accommodating I've been lately."

"You're loving this."

"Yeeees. I love having to let my brother press me against a wall and feed from me while he gets a hard on over my blood." Damon joked and Stefan gasped and scowled at him indignantly.

"I did not!" He roared angrily and Damon shook his head.

"You did." He said sincerely and Stefan's mouth fell open in horror. Damon's humour seemed to fade as Stefan looked to the ground distressed. "It's normal. Don't worry about it. You've just been feeding from animals for so long you've forgotten."

"This has to stop." Stefan groaned putting his head in his hands.

"Ok." Damon said casually and Stefan looked up at him and frowned.

"What are you up to?"

"What do you mean brother?" Damon smiled.

"Feeding me like you have, letting me drink from your veins…what game are you playing?" Stefan stood up and Damon chuckled in surprise.

"This is the thanks I get?"

"Why would you help me? Unless you want to keep me under your thumb for some reason. Why do you care?" Damon took a step back and frowned.

"I don't care. I just don't want you running around killing the locals. I want to stay here for a while." Damon answered tensing at Stefan's scrutiny.

"I don't believe you. How can I trust anything you say Damon? All you do is lie and plot!" Stefan accused and Damon's expression turned hard.

"The feeling is mutual brother." Damon said with venom. "Enjoy your squirrels." Damon leaned in as he spoke the last part and then smirked and walked away casually as Stefan watched him leave. Damn him. Damon always had a reason for every action, Stefan had learned that about him. This had to be some ruse of some kind to get Stefan to depend on him. Then again, there were certainly easier ways of doing so other than sharing your blood with someone for no rewards. Stefan exhaled and put his face in his hands. They'd been enemies for so long. He wasn't sure if he knew how to trust Damon anymore. He wanted to, but should he let his guard down completely?

He sat sulking in the lounge for the rest of the night. Damon didn't re-emerge from his room. He was going to have to deal with the blood on his own from now on. The next morning brought hunger and confliction. Bonnie had done a spell that had backfired and allowed a lot of ghosts to re-enter the fabric of their existence. The tomb vampires that they had disposed of came back and came back with a vengeance. They wanted everyone dead out of bitterness. Stefan needed to be strong enough to protect everyone and he knew he couldn't be strong enough without human blood. It was a painful fact. He sat in the cellar for a while, looking towards the freezer and trying to pull some strength together to open it. He had to. He had to be strong. He'd brought down some rabbit blood with him so that he could try mixing it, like Damon had done for him, but deep down he had a feeling it wouldn't help. He had to try though.

He opened the lid and peered inside. He'd stolen so many blood bags. He hadn't realised until now. He picked one out of the cooler and stared at it for a while before opening it and pouring it into his already half filled mug. It was cold, not the nice warm temperature he liked, but it would have to do. He didn't want to risk the chance of bumping into Damon in the kitchen and showing such obvious signs of weakness – not when Damon was being an ass. He drank it down, grimacing slightly at its flavour. It wasn't great but it was drinkable. He poured the rest from the blood bag and mixed more rabbit in. It would taste so much better warm. He huffed and listened looking up at the ceiling. This was ridiculous. Why should he feel embarrassed about this? This was his house too. He walked upstairs and into the kitchen defiantly shoving the mug into the microwave and pressing start. He sat down at the table and waited, feeling his jitteriness increase as he waited. Damon thumped down the stairs and came into the kitchen ignoring him as he went to the fridge and pulled out a blood bag. He barely looked in Stefan's direction, he was in such a mood and Stefan felt himself fuelled on in his state of ambivalence too. The microwave pinged and it caught Damon's attention. He smirked as Stefan got up and retrieved his mug.

Neither of them spoke to the other as Stefan sat back down and drank from his mug. The taste wasn't much improved and he couldn't conceal his disappointment. It didn't escape Damon's notice as he sucked the blood from his through the tube and watched him.

"What?" Stefan asked tersely, feeling Damon's eyes on him.

"That smells awful."

"What do you care?"

"Just an observation." Stefan looked at him annoyed. "Do you think Bonnie's spell worked?"

"I guess we'll find out later. I've no reason not to trust her." Stefan answered, drinking more from his cup.

"It seemed a little too easy." Damon mused and Stefan smiled sarcastically and shook his head.

"You can't trust anyone can you? Not even for a minute."

"Why should I?" Damon countered.

"Because you have to give to get brother."

"I trust me and that's enough. I can look out for myself. Always had to."

"Whatever." Stefan huffed and finished his cup, sitting it down on the worktop and exiting the kitchen. He had to put some space between them. How right Damon had been in his warnings when the Gilbert device was used against them that night. Stefan and Elena had been walking around trying to find Jeremy when a searing pain like nothing he had ever felt before pierced his brain. He cried out and fell to the ground while Elena clung to him panicking. Elsewhere Damon had fallen to the floor also and been kicked into unconsciousness by John Gilbert.

Damon awoke groggy and sore to the groans of others around him. His head was killing him and he opened his eyes trying to figure out where he was. Someone was moving around, pouring a liquid around the floor as he tried to focus. He turned his head and saw Anna not far from him. John Gilbert was standing over her. She looked so helpless, begging for her life as he plunged the stake into her chest with no qualms. Damon opened his mouth and tried to call out, to beg for her life too but he couldn't utter a sound. As the liquid was poured around him he caught the smell and realised it was gasoline. He was done for. He tried to sit up but fell back weakly.

"Stefan…" He called, as though the act of uttering his brother's name would reach his ears. He knew he was doomed. This was finally his end. He sat up with effort and tried to stand as flames began around him. He could hardly see or breathe as the fire spread rapidly and he leant against a wooden rafter for support as he coughed. He supposed he deserved this really. He looked around at the bodies of the others burning and thrashing around him and held himself still. He wasn't going to go out like that, he was going to just let it happen and give in to it. What did he really have to live for anyway? Katherine had deserted him, Elena was off limits and in love with Stefan anyway. He was just the third wheel. He hung his head and coughed violently as he sagged against the rafter. Then he heard Stefan's voice. He thought he was imagining it at first but then Stefan appeared, scanning the remains desperately. Damon lifted his head in disbelief and Stefan saw him, dashing forward. He couldn't talk, could barely support his own weight but Stefan didn't seem to care that his trousers were on fire as he struggled to half carry him out of there and up to ground level away from the heat and flames. They fell out of the door onto the street and landed on top of each other with a thud.

Damon drew in gasps of air as he tried to clear out his lungs and Stefan held him close, calling his name worriedly. He opened his eyes and Stefan cupped his cheek tenderly.

"Are you ok?"

Damon opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out as his vocal chords tried to heal. He coughed and Stefan frowned concerned. Elena knelt down next to them and looked at Damon too. She cared about him, he knew that, but he still felt a little unprepared for the attention they were giving him.

"Did you find Jeremy?" He heard Bonnie ask and Elena seemed to remember herself as she looked at Stefan in fear.

"I have to find him."

"Go. Damon needs to feed. I'll be right behind you." Stefan advised and she nodded and pulled Bonnie away with her as Damon frowned and tried to sit up. Why wasn't Stefan going with her? He coughed as he tried to ask that question and Stefan stroked his hair back from his face.

"You need to feed." Stefan nodded at him and Damon sighed, giving into his own weakness as Stefan helped him to his feet and walked towards his car. Stefan had been hiding it for a while now but he had an emergency blood bag in the trunk. He just hadn't been able to take the chance he'd lose control and kill someone. He knew he shouldn't carry it around as it was a temptation but right now he was glad of it. As Damon's lungs were healing slowly, he was coughing out puffs of black smoke. It looked frightening and suddenly all of the mistrust and anger he'd been feeling towards Damon faded. Damon sat down in the passenger seat and lay his head back tiredly, while Stefan opened his leather jacket and checked his wounds. He had been burned substantially by the flames and Stefan could tell he was in real pain. He didn't seem to be healing as quickly as usual. Perhaps the device was to blame for that somehow.

"Relax brother." Stefan advised and Damon nodded and closed his eyes while Stefan went to his trunk and opened it nervously. Was he going to be able to stand the smell and sight of the blood as Damon was drinking it? He lifted it and closed the boot. He had no choice in the matter. He came back around and leant against the inside of the door, handing the bag to Damon. Damon stared at it in surprise and looked up at him with a concerned expression. Stefan gave him a nod of encouragement, ignoring the fear that was evident in Damon's expression. Damon didn't agree with Stefan's choice to have this with him. They'd deal with that later probably. Damon opened the bag quickly and put it to his mouth as the veins in his eyes protruded. He closed his eyes again as he drank and his body began to heal. Stefan held himself on the spot and closed his eyes as he listened to Damon's enjoyment. Perhaps if he concentrated on Damon's sounds, he could imagine he was feeding too and it would distract his desire to grab the bag from him. He felt his eyes tingle insistently and he turned himself away to breathe and control his hunger. It was so difficult and his body began to tremble under the strain as he tried to meditate and focus on something else.

He felt Damon squeeze his hand after a few minutes and he turned around to face him again, still breathing deeply and with fangs aching. Damon looked calm, too calm when faced with Stefan hanging by a thread. Damon bit into his wrist and held it out to him. Stefan exhaled and looked at him pained.

"You won't hurt me." Damon encouraged gently and Stefan gave a short nod of understanding and kneeled down and took his wrist, biting in again and drinking urgently. He shouldn't be taking this from Damon when Damon was healing but he couldn't stop. Damon lay his hand gently on top of Stefan's head and Stefan relaxed, drinking until he heard footsteps approaching them. He pulled his teeth out and wiped his mouth on his sleeve as Damon pulled his shirt sleeves back down to hide the evidence. Stefan turned around and stood up again in time to see Elena and Jeremy heading over to them.

"Everyone ok?" Stefan gulped, feeling a slight blush spread over his cheeks as he felt guilt swell in him. Why did he feel guilty? Elena hugged him as Jeremy stood by grumpy and scowling.

"He's lost Anna." She explained and Jeremy came forward tense and ready for confrontation.

"Have you seen her? They took her away and I haven't been able to find her." Damon sighed and everyone looked to him as he looked to Jeremy with remorse. Jeremy swallowed bile and his eyes widened as Damon looked at him silently.

"No…" He choked.

"I'm sorry. I know you cared about her. I tried to help her but…I couldn't." Damon said sadly and Jeremy's eyes filled with tears as he backed away.

"Jer!" Elena called as Jeremy took off running. Stefan rubbed her arm comfortingly.

"Give him some time." Stefan advised and she folded into his embrace again as she closed her eyes in torment. She opened her eyes and noticed Damon's clothing burnt and damaged.

"Are you ok?" She asked him and he gave a weak smile. Stefan turned to look at him too.

"I'm going to get Damon home. Check on Jeremy. Call me if you need me." Stefan stroked her cheeks and she nodded and kissed him softly before following in Jeremy's direction.

"What are you doing? Go after her Stefan. I'm fine." Damon grumbled and Stefan closed the door locking Damon inside and stepped around to climb in. He didn't want to argue, he just wanted some space from anyone human. They drove back in silence and Stefan was so glad. The silence was a comforting buffer from reality. He helped Damon back inside of the house, with Damon trying to manage on his own defiantly.

"I'll get you another blood bag." Stefan offered as Damon sat on the sofa. Before Damon could argue Stefan was gone and back again. Stefan handed it to him.

"Do you want me to heat it up for you?" He offered and Damon squinted at him suspiciously. "It's better warm."

"What about you?"

"What _about_ me?" Stefan asked confused.

"Are you hungry?" Damon ripped the top of the bag open as he spoke and Stefan's stomach rumbled automatically.

"I'm ok. You need to heal." Damon sighed and began to drink. Stefan moved to the fireplace and put some logs on to give himself some distraction.

"It really helps you doesn't it?" Damon asked quietly and Stefan turned to look at him in question. "Drinking from me instead." Damon added and Stefan bit his lip nervously. Damon nodded.

"You could have died tonight, blundering down there to get me. What were you thinking?"

"You're my brother." Stefan frowned.

"I've tried to ruin your life for decades. Familial obligations don't cut it anymore."

"They do for me." Stefan defended.

"Is it because you want to feed on me?" Damon asked and Stefan stood up, hurt by the insinuation.

"For god sake!" Stefan huffed annoyed and Damon eyed him carefully.

"Once a day."

"Huh?" Stefan's nerves were fried and Damon was making no sense today.

"Feed on me once a day then. It'll make you stronger and I won't have to worry about you spiralling."

"I thought you didn't want me to feed on you." Stefan folded his arms.

"Not if that's all you care about Stefan." Damon explained and Stefan softened a little and sat down next to him.

"I used to trust you above everyone else. I want that back. I can't do this if you're going to use it against me." Stefan said seriously. "Will you? I can't understand why else you would do this for me." Damon thought for a long minute on how to answer as Stefan waited patiently.

"You're all I've got." Damon said, looking at him sincerely and Stefan relaxed his body. "Now just swallow your pride and take what you need brother." Damon tilted his neck in invitation and Stefan didn't need to be told twice as he leaned into him and bit down. The blood was so warm and healing that he let himself get carried along with it. Damon's heartbeat helped surge the liquid towards his lips and Stefan held him closer to catch it all. This was the epitome of pleasure as a vampire and he'd denied himself so long. If he could have this regularly he could be so much happier and stronger, ready to face whatever came their way here. He hummed as Damon became less resistant to his embrace. Damon let out a small sound of pleasure and Stefan swallowed and pulled up. He had to be careful. Blood sharing was still very intimate. As long as they didn't start sharing each others, it wasn't really weird or wrong.

"Thank you." He sighed and Damon gave a small smile and yawned. "Thank you for being my brother." Stefan added, full of emotion. His protective big brother was still in there, just below the surface.

"I advise not telling Elena about this. She wouldn't get it." Damon said and Stefan nodded in full agreement. It wasn't that they had anything to hide, it was just that she wouldn't understand. "Good night brother." Damon got up tiredly and headed to bed as Stefan sat back and smiled to himself content.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It was amazingly liberating not to have to fight the hunger anymore or to have to struggle with how much he wanted to drink from Damon. Damon had given permission that he could feed daily and it felt like such a huge weight off of Stefan's shoulders. He felt so happy and strong. Things with Elena were improving on account of it too. It seemed as though everything was going to be ok.

"Stefan." Damon called as he walked down the hallway to his bedroom. He stopped and looked in as Damon put his watch on his wrist. "I'm going to the hospital. Liz needs my help dealing with some council stuff while Caroline recovers."

"Great. Jeremy had a rough night. Elena caught him with a bottle of Anna's blood last night."

"He drank it?" Damon frowned.

"Yeah. I've told her not to let him out of her sight. I'm going to go round and keep him under house arrest until it's out of his system." Stefan leaned against the doorframe as Damon shook his head and sighed.

"You should eat. Especially if you're going to be around a suicidal teenager all day." Damon advised and Stefan gave a small smile. Damon unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt and opened the collar wide to reveal his neck. Stefan came towards him, a little unsure of whether it would be more advisable to drink from his wrist instead.

"You want me to drink from your neck again?" He asked nervously and Damon looked at him a little confused as to why Stefan was reiterating something so obvious back to him.

"I can't be bothered undoing my cuffs." Damon replied and Stefan nodded. Damon moved backwards to sit on his bed and Stefan followed him, kneeling down on the floor and leaning into his neck. Damon was so relaxed, texting on his phone as Stefan bit down and began to drink. Damon must have just had a blood bag, the taste was so fresh and human-y. Stefan felt his eyes roll into his head as his stomach sang happily. He closed his eyes and relaxed into it. After a few gulps he brought his arms up and held Damon to him and Damon ceased his texting and let him. Damon hung his arms relaxed and sat his cell down on the mattress beside him, bringing one arm up to hold Stefan gently, almost as though he was soothing him. Stefan drank for a few minutes and then licked his tongue over the wound and sighed. His body was warm and happy and he felt so comfortable with the way Damon was holding him back that he lay his head on Damon's shoulder and hugged him. Damon seemed to be a little slow in his response but he gave Stefan a reassuring squeeze back and Stefan released him from the hug and looked at him to make sure he was ok. Damon's expression looked a little strange and Stefan frowned in concern.

"Are you alright? Did I take too much?"

"No. It's fine." Damon gave him a tight smile, but Stefan got the vibe that there was something not right with him. Damon cleared his throat and smiled again, buttoning his collar back up as his skin healed. Stefan stood up again, still watching him.

"Thanks."

"You don't have to keep thanking me Stefan. This is my way of making sure you don't fall off of the wagon. Think of it as an investment on my part." Damon explained and Stefan nodded and smiled. Damon chuckled and shook his head.

"What?" Stefan cornered.

"I've never seen you smile so much. You usually seemed to have some trauma or dear diary moment until recently."

"Well we do live in Mystic falls surrounded by constant near death experiences brother."

"It doesn't stop me from smiling and having some fun."

"Yeah but you are the master villain aren't you?" Stefan joked and Damon smirked and stood up, moving to grab a blood bag from a small fridge he had put in here. Stefan relaxed as he popped it into his pocket.

"It's ok, I think I can deal with it now. You don't have to hide your feeding anymore." Stefan offered and Damon smirked.

"One step at a time ok?"

"Alright." Stefan shrugged. He really felt amazing and he was sure it wouldn't bother him to smell human blood now. Not when he knew he could technically have some by way of Damon. The lust for it was much lessened now.

Stefan left and spent the day making sure Jeremy didn't hurt himself as Damon tried to intercede in some hairy moments between Liz and Carol Lockwood. Caroline's prognosis wasn't good and Elena had come by with Bonnie to discover just how badly she was doing. Damon wasn't sure exactly how he ended up getting involved but he did and he couldn't stand to see Elena so upset that Caroline might die. He'd suggested using his blood to heal her. After much encouragement and an icy reception from Bonnie towards him, Elena agreed that he should do it. He'd given just a little and Elena had seemed happy. He had an aching desire to rip Bonnie's witchy little head off for almost getting them killed last night but what would be the point really? Instead he opted to take Elena home and thank her for her part in ensuring that Bonnie helped Stefan rescue him. When they got back to her house they could hear shouting within and they both dashed inside in fear.

"Get away from me!" It was Stefan's voice and they looked to each other in confusion as they darted up the stairs.

"Change me then!" Jeremy was demanding. Damon blurred into Jeremy's room and was aghast at the sight before him. Elena gasped as she arrived just behind him to see Jeremy waving a bleeding wrist in Stefan's direction as Stefan panted like a cornered animal.

"Jer stop!" She shouted and Stefan looked to Damon desperately as the veins in his eyes took over. Damon dashed for him and caught him as he went for Jeremy. Elena screamed and even Jeremy fell back as Stefan foamed at the mouth. Damon caught him around his waist and held him from behind as he called Stefan's name trying to get him to snap out of it. Stefan was long gone though and although they had agreed not to let Elena in on their extracurricular feeding activities, Damon knew he had no choice but to act. He forced his wrist against Stefan's mouth and Stefan bit down and held him there with his arms, like iron. Elena's mouth fell open as Stefan calmed and drank hungrily. Damon fell back on top of a dresser and held him to his chest, trying to avoid catching Elena's eyes.

"What the hell?" Jeremy said alarmed and looked at Elena for answers. She couldn't tear her eyes from Stefan.

"Jer, go downstairs. Don't dare do anything stupid." She warned and he quietly left the room in shock. Stefan moaned and panted in satisfaction and she felt her heckles rise a little that he was obviously feeling pleasure. Did that make Damon competition somehow? She knew it was ridiculous but somehow she couldn't shake that feeling off. Stefan slowed and dropped Damon's wrist gradually, licking his lips and opening his eyes again. He looked high.

"What's going on?" She folded her arms and looked to them both.

"He came at me, I swear I didn't…" Stefan began to explain about Jeremy, but that wasn't what she was asking right now. Damon pulled an expression of discomfort and slight embarrassment and Stefan realised what she was referring to. He was still leaning into Damon behind him and he immediately stood up straight and stepped away from him. He and Damon exchanged glances.

"It's nothing." Stefan said and she blinked at him in disbelief. Damon bit his lip.

"You call that nothing?" She asked and looked to Damon who appeared to be trying to melt into the wall paper. "He's feeding on you?"

"It's no big deal." He justified.

"It's helping me control myself."

"It doesn't look like it. If we hadn't gotten here when we did…"

"We did, ok? Cut him some slack. You don't know what it's like." Damon defended.

"How can you say that? How can you act like this is nothing? Both of you! Stefan you've told me a hundred times that you can't handle human blood that you have to avoid it completely."

"And he is. He's drinking my blood, there are no human bodies lying around the Boarding House."

"It keeps me strong Elena." He approached her taking her hands in his as he implored her to understand. "I get a lot of the stuff I need from Damon's blood because he can feed normally when I can't. I need this. If I'm going to be strong enough to protect you, I need to have this."

"Don't make this about me Stefan. I would never have wanted you to do this. You sound like a drug addict."

"He is. We're vampires Elena." Damon sighed and she scowled at him in annoyance.

"You're making him worse. The longer it takes for him to get back onto the animal blood, the harder his withdrawal will be."

"I'm standing right here." Stefan reminded her looking vexed and she looked to him, emotion filling her expression.

"I can't be with you if I can't trust you." She whispered and he squeezed her hands.

"You _can_ trust me."

"So why did you hide this from me then? How long have you been feeding from him?"

"Right here!" Damon sighed and Stefan looked at him in exasperation. "You know what kids, I've have grown up things to do. I'll leave you to it. Remember and close the window behind you Dawson." Damon smirked at Stefan as he walked around them and left. Stefan stared after him as he left with a tight expression.

"You enjoy it don't you?" She asked when he returned his attention to her. He raised his eyebrows in question. "Feeding on him. You enjoy it." He felt himself become defensive and he let go of her hands as he tried to think of a response.

"It's food. That's all. It's like you enjoying a cheeseburger."

"I generally don't eat cheeseburgers off of my brother."

"What are you implying?" He folded his arms.

"Are you…feeling…"

"What?" He snapped at her.

"The way he describes feeding is sensual, like, like…like it turns him on." She stumbled and Stefan exhaled as his face grew red. "When you feed on him, do you want to…?"

"For god sake Elena! I can't believe you would even…you can't understand. You're human. He understands what this is like for me, he's here for me to get me through this. There's nothing more to it than that!"

"Why are you being so defensive?"

"Because you're accusing me!"

"I'm just trying to understand." She sighed, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

"You can't. Just trust me. I know what I'm doing. Just get off my back." He didn't want to talk about this anymore. He had to get some air. He walked past her as she stood unflinching. He felt mad and he needed to blow off some steam. She didn't get it, she could never get it. Damon had been right. Damon was the only one who understood him right now. He was surprised to find Damon sitting in his car outside when he left the house. He walked over and leaned on the door as Damon leant his arm out of the window.

"Thought you were gone." Stefan said, aggravation still evident in his voice and Damon gave him a small smile.

"I figured you might need a quick getaway."

Stefan couldn't suppress a smile and walked around and jumped in the other door as Elena watched from her window. They sped off like two mischievous runaways as she turned around and sat down on Jeremy's bed. She had no idea what was happening, but one thing she did knows was that this was very wrong. Neither of them seemed to be able to see the feeding for what it was – a temporary fix. Damon's blood was Stefan's new methadone and even Damon's judgement was clouded now. What was she going to do when it was clear that they planned to exclude her from their decisions on the matter?

She couldn't just sit back and ignore this, not when Stefan had fought so hard all of these years to get control of himself. She couldn't help but feel a little strange about the fact that it was Damon he was feeding from in particular. Wasn't it kind of incestuous? She'd suggested the idea to Stefan herself when she'd been wondering if he could survive that way and not have to be in so much pain all of the time but now that she had seen it again, after that first attack in the woods…the way Damon had encouraged it this time as though he wanted it to happen…Was she just imagining that? Had Damon just did the only thing he could think of to save Jeremy from harm or had it been for another reason? She shook her head. No, if she started thinking like that, who knows how she'd feel. They were brothers and they cared for one another that was all, they were both just deluded in how to deal with this situation.

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They drove home discussing how irrational Elena was being. It felt good to have Damon back him up on that, to defend his way of thinking. It was nice and reminded him of how close they used to be in that respect.

"I'm sorry I lost it back there with Jeremy. He took me by surprise."

"Like I said Stef, one step at a time." Damon kept his eyes on the road as Stefan looked over at him and smiled.

"Thank god you were there." He blew a breath out and ran his hands through his hair.

"You're welcome." Damon smiled. "She'll come around." He added and glanced at him comfortingly. Stefan nodded. Right now he actually didn't care, he didn't want to think about it all.

"Have you had any other blood but mine today?"

"No. I'm ok."

"Stefan you can't survive on just my blood. You need to keep hunting. Hunting down your furry friends will help control your urges, vent some adrenaline. It's just as important."

"How do you vent your adrenaline? I mean, you're not drinking from people any more, not up to your old tricks are you?" Stefan asked in a light tone and Damon chuckled. "You're not prowling around the sororities when I'm not looking are you?"

"No time with all of you dragging me into near death apocalyptic situations these days." Damon drolled.

"How do you control it? You don't work out." Stefan pointed out. Stefan worked out a lot to try and keep a lid on his adrenaline levels, but Damon's only exercise seemed to be lifting his bourbon glass. Damon flashed him a wicked smile.

"Oh brother where is your libido?" Damon rolled his eyes in jest.

"You call that exercise?" Stefan laughed and Damon chuckled.

"Sex with me is definitely exercise brother." They both burst into laughter.

"It must be amazing to be able to feed at the same time."

"You never done it?"

"How can I?" Stefan said seriously and Damon shook his head.

"Ever? With another vamp?"

"No."

"Damn you've missed out." Damon grinned.

"What's it like?" Stefan asked in curiosity.

"Like the world could be ending at the foot of the bed and you wouldn't notice." Stefan nodded trying to imagine what that would feel like. "Anyway, back to point – you need to make sure you're still hunting. You might have been ok if you had today."

"Your blood tastes so much better."

"I'm dead Stefan. You need the living stuff."

"Ever wonder what would happen if I didn't drink any living stuff? I mean, I've never heard of anyone doing that but maybe it would be ok."

"That's a dream Stefan. If we could survive that way then we would have started to before now."

"We don't know that." Stefan stated and Damon gave a long sigh.

"Just trust me on this Stefan. Even if I wanted to I couldn't be your only source of food." Stefan pouted a little but somehow there was a voice in his head that agreed. Damon was talking sense. Damon looked over at him when Stefan remained silent. "I'm not saying we can't continue, but you have to get yourself in check. This isn't going to be easy for Elena now that she knows. We should start to gradually decrease how much you drink from me to wean you off of it."

"Wean me off?" Stefan sat up straighter in surprise.

"Well you can't feed on me forever Stefan." Damon gave a small chuckle and Stefan felt his chest constrict a little. Was Damon going to take this away from him so soon? He was just starting to connect with him, to feel like they shared something. Damon thought for a few minutes and slowly pulled the car over onto the side of the road. Stefan looked at him quizzically. Damon got out and Stefan jumped out to figure out what he was doing as Damon began walking into the woods.

"Damon?" Stefan followed him to a clearing and Damon turned around to face him.

"You need to eat brother, properly." Stefan scrunched up his nose and opened his mouth to argue when Damon interrupted him. "I'll hunt with you ok? Maybe if I drink some bambi you'll get used to the taste again when you drink from me."

"What for?"

"Because I don't want Elena to be right ok? I don't want you feeding on me to hold you back. If I taste like deer, then maybe you'll find it easier just to hunt deer rather than make your girlfriend jealous."

"Jealous? Damon what the hell…"

"Stefan come on! She's not that clueless. There's a part of her that realises drinking from me is weird. She might not understand blood sharing but she saw you today."

"I didn't mean to…"

"I know." Damon squeezed his shoulders as Stefan tried to fight his embarrassment. "You can't help it, it's natural to enjoy feeding, but it might have come across…sexual to her and I'm your brother."

Stefan gulped and nodded in agreement. That was exactly what she had said or had tried to intimate. His heart sank a little that even Damon was being guided by the logic of human morals. He didn't want to lose this. His sadness reflected in his expression and Damon gave him a squeeze again.

"Let's eat." Damon encouraged and let go of him as he blurred away into the woods. Stefan sighed in grief, looking around and trying to find motivation to hunt. He tuned his ears in and blurred following the sound. It didn't take him long to catch a large buck and he drank as much as he could bear before releasing the animal alive. He stood up unsatisfied and wiped his mouth as he heard Damon grumble to his left. He began walking in his direction and heard the unmistakeable sounds of Damon groaning and spitting. He chuckled to himself and smiled. Damon had never fed on animals before and so he had no idea how different their blood tasted. Damon was frowning and holding his stomach unhappily as Stefan found him.

"You get used to it." Stefan smiled and Damon tried his best to appear ambivalent.

"Did you eat?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Damon said, spitting again as though he was fighting back bile. Stefan remembered how many times he had vomited until he'd been able to get used to animal blood. He stroked his back comfortingly and Damon chuckled. "Well, this is sure to sour the milk for you." Stefan tightened his expression and exhaled. "Try it and see." Damon offered and Stefan leaned into his neck and bit down to taste him. The taste was different but not as bad as the animal blood on its own, as he suspected. Damon had his own taste and now that there was no human blood, Stefan could actually identify it more easily. He held Damon to him and drank a little more. Damon's spicy taste was helping to relieve the bitterness of the deer blood. Damon became a little rigid as he continued, sucking gently with reverence and stroking Damon's back unconsciously. Damon let out a sigh and tensed.

"Stefan." He mumbled in warning but Stefan wanted just a little more. Just a little more. He held him a little tighter to him and frowned as he felt Damon's manhood stir. Damon was aroused. He should stop now. He should really make this mouthful his last. Just one more and then he'd let him go. Damon gave a small moan and tried to push Stefan backwards but Stefan just wanted a little more so he held him and stroked his back reassuringly as Damon began to pant and squirm slightly.

"Stefan you've got to stop now!"

Damon was just urgent because he was aroused and he was worried that Stefan would freak about that, but it was no big deal. Like Damon had said earlier – it was natural to be turned on by feeding. It was natural and healthy for them. Stefan didn't want Damon to worry about that on his behalf, he had to show him it was ok. As he swallowed more, he brought one hand around to the front of Damon's body and stroked over his erection to show him it was ok if he needed to let himself go. Damon inhaled sharply and tried to separate them. Why was Damon acting so modestly? They were both men, their bodies had these reactions, it was no big deal. It wasn't like they hadn't seen each other naked before. Damon's struggling seemed a little light hearted as he panted, so Stefan knew he was just trying to stop this for both of their sakes rather than because he wanted to. Stefan made the split second decision to help him release so he could continue to drink for a little while longer without a fight. He slipped his hand inside Damon's pants and took a hold of his member.

"Ahh! Stefan what are you doing?" Damon whined, panting and trying not to gyrate into Stefan's hand as Stefan began to pump him and squeeze him. "Stefan please…uhhhh!" Damon was moving his hips in time with Stefan's hand now and unravelling as he moaned helplessly. "Stop it, you can't…uhhhh, uhhhhhh…!" Damon's body froze and tensed as he climaxed into Stefan's hand and Stefan closed his eyes and sighed happily as Damon melted into him breathing.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys sorry for the hiatus. I've had a really awful week at work and been incapable of happy zen thoughts;-( Thank god I have Stefan and Damon to play with.

X

Chapter 5

He drank one more gulp and retracted his fangs, licking over the wound contentedly. He removed his hand from Damon's pants and stepped back to wipe it with a handkerchief as Damon leaned on a tree for support and cupped over himself in disbelief. Damon had his eyes closed firmly.

"Why did you do that?" His voice was strained and barely above a whisper.

"I could feel you were bursting." Stefan explained innocently and Damon opened his eyes and didn't respond. "You said it was normal. I figured I could help you with it so I could take a little more."

"There was nothing normal about what you just did."

"Was it not good?"

"That is so far from the point." Damon sighed and Stefan frowned. Damon didn't seem to be angry but he wasn't happy either. Stefan raised his eyebrows in query. Damon shook his head.

"Damon come on, we're both guys. It's not like we haven't jerked off before."

"We've never jerked each other off!"

"Yeah but it's not like it meant anything. You're my brother for god sake. I just wanted to ease your discomfort."

Damon didn't know what to say, all he could do was stare at him. Stefan waited patiently, unsure of what all the fuss was about. It wasn't like he wanted to suck Damon off or sleep with him. Damon was acting as though it was.

"I'm sorry. I thought I was helping." Stefan offered as Damon continued to stare. "Damon come on."

"We shouldn't do this anymore." Damon said and Stefan felt panic start to rise in him. He stepped closer and Damon backed away so he stopped, hurt at that movement.

"You're acting like I'm coming onto you or something." Stefan said hurt and Damon shook his head and bit his lip.

"Stefan you can't touch me like that, it's weird, it's…"

"I just didn't want you to be…"

"I can't let you…"

"We're both grownups! If me feeding makes you feel like you have to release then what's the problem? You are giving me so much and you don't get anything back." Damon stopped what he was saying and hung his mouth open, squinting at Stefan in disbelief.

"Are you suggesting that…?"

"Let me help if you need it. Completely platonically." Stefan offered and Damon almost laughed in shock.

"You can't be serious!"

"I don't see the problem. I get pleasure when I feed from you. You don't see me complaining about it, because you're my brother. It's not about you, it's just a consequence of you being my donor." How was it that the way Stefan was putting it so plainly and logically, seemed so much less of a deal than what Damon knew was really happening. Damon swallowed and tried to clear his head. It had been a great orgasm but…No this was fucked up.

"Please brother." Stefan said in a small voice and Damon looked at him. "I need you. I can't do this on my own."

Damon groaned internally and chewed his lip as Stefan put his puppy dog face on. He knew it wasn't an act though. Stefan wouldn't ask for help unless he really needed it. What the hell was he going to do? First off, he had to shower and go and find a few girls to bang. He needed to get the memory of Stefan's hand caressing him and making him spill over himself, out of his mind pronto. He nodded gravely and Stefan sighed looking relieved.

"Don't touch me." Damon put his finger up to make the point clear and Stefan nodded. They travelled back to the boarding house in uncomfortable silence and Damon raced away to shower. He wasn't sure how to feel about this. What had started out as a brotherly bonding session had turned strange. He wondered if he should feel a little violated but truth was that it had been amazing when Stefan had started to touch him. Perhaps because the feeling of being fed from was so encompassing. He went on the prowl, forgetting about his plan to drink from animals. He couldn't stand to have to drink that stuff again tonight, he needed a nice warm female bosom to suck on and find it he did, multiple times. He rounded a few girls up and compelled them to his bed that night, showing off his sexual skills to them and feeding into the early hours of the morning until he heard Stefan rousing.

He probably shouldn't have feed from them with Stefan so near along the hall. He must be able to smell the blood. At the time all he had been concerned about was satisfying himself though. He came out of his room, leaving the sleeping naked girls to curl into the mattress and closed the door firmly behind him. Stefan was in the kitchen making coffee. He entered to check on him.

"Have fun last night?" Stefan asked with his back turned to him.

"Yeah, sorry about the smell."

"It's fine." Stefan said but he still hadn't turned around to face him. Damon fidgeted nervously.

"I'll get rid of them."

"I don't care." Stefan said loosely and Damon folded his arms. "You're going to taste like them."

"Yeah about that, listen I think maybe you should try and just do the deer thing for a few days. I should just be a backup." That got Stefan turning to face him.

"But…"

"Just try it Stefan. If you can't do it then come to me." Damon explained and Stefan looked pained.

"You know how hard that is going to be."

"You've done it before many times Stefan. You've just stopped believing you can do it. You have to try."

Stefan nodded, paling slightly and Damon gave him a small smile and returned to his room to get rid of the humans. Stefan sat down at the countertop and took a deep breath. It had been such a rough night and when Damon had brought those girls home he had felt so angry and jealous about it. He wanted to be able to feed like that, without having to worry.

He quickly gathered his things and headed out into the woods. He didn't want to have to be around when Damon's new sorority meals came downstairs. As he walked into the woods he thought on what had happened last night. Now that he'd slept on it, he could see how weird it was that he'd touched Damon like that. It hadn't been that much of a conscious thought. He'd just wanted to drink more and saw that as the only way to get Damon to let him. He'd been trying to see it from Damon perspective though and he would have felt weirded out too if Damon had slid his hands down his pants. Still, he had never been fed from before so he had no idea what Damon was actually feeling. Did animals get turned on when he fed from them? He had no basis for comparison. He should ask Damon more about it to try and alleviate his discomfort. Damon was still acting strange though. In truth Damon had been a little odd all throughout this experiment of theirs but they'd never talked about it properly. He should go home and talk to him.

He hunted a few deer and choked their blood down. He had to be seen to be trying. As he left the woods his cell wrang. He pulled it out to hear Elena's frightened voice.

"What's wrong?"

"It's uncle John, I found him in the kitchen! He's been attacked. Stefan they cut his fingers off to get his ring!" She cried and Stefan could hear that an ambulance was just pulling up outside of her house.

"I'll be right there."

"I'm going to the hospital with him. Can you meet us there?" She begged and he automatically agreed before he had the chance to consider that. She hung up and he ran the rest of the way back to the boarding house.

"Damon?!" He called and Damon blurred down the stairs at Stefan's tone.

"What's wrong?"

"Someone got in and tried to get John Gilbert's ring. Someone's here and they know about it."

"Is he dead?"

"No. I'm going to the hospital to find out more." Stefan said as he grabbed his car keys and Damon stood in front of him, halting his exit. He looked at him in question.

"Stefan, you can't go to a hospital."

"What?"

"Are you crazy? You can't be around people who are _bleeding_." Damon emphasized the word 'bleeding'.

"I fed on some deer, ok? Just like you commanded. I can't leave Elena to deal with this on her own."

"Commanded?" Damon said in surprise and Stefan huffed. "It's not like this is how I want things to be Stefan. I'm just pointing it out." Damon folded his arms and Stefan could feel anger bubble inside of him.

"If you're so worried about my self control, let me drink from you before I go." Stefan countered and Damon's expression tightened.

"Or, I will go to the hospital and you stay here and detox brother."

"Afraid I'm going to touch you again? You seem so obsessed with the idea that I want to." Stefan spit and Damon was gobsmacked for a few seconds as he took in how angry Stefan appeared.

"You did." He said finally through gritted teeth and Stefan shook his head and moved around him.

"Thanks for making this so much easier Damon." Stefan grunted as he slammed the door. Damon stood in the hallway breathing for a while, trying to think about what to do now.

He should have gone with him to make sure he could handle himself, but in all honesty he was relieved to have some Stefan-free time to think. He couldn't figure out what was going on in Stefan's head. Stefan hadn't been this needy and reliant on him since they were human brothers. He wasn't used to it, to the feeling of responsibility anymore. After Elena's outburst he had started to wonder if she was right, but then he couldn't exactly leave Stefan to it, could he? Maybe he should lock him up for a while and detox him that way. It could work. That way he could feed him animal blood only and not have to let Stefan drink from him. That'd be best.

He sat down in his armchair and closed his eyes sighing. Stefan's pleading for help was unusual. They had spent so much time hating each other, mistrust was rife in their relationship. Stefan would never normally beg for his help but he was now and his emotions were all over the place. Damon's emotions were all over the place too as a result. How could you fight something as natural to you as brotherhood? Is that what they had again? If it was, what was a safe extension of that role? Should he stop kidding himself that Stefan feeding on him wasn't turning him on and making him want to continue? It had started out as a way of keeping Stefan under control and he had liked that he had a little power over Stefan in that way, but now Damon was starting to enjoy it. Enjoy it! That really messed with his head because he knew that the longer this continued the more his sense of reason might leave him and he might actually accept Stefan's offer of releasing him during feeding. That would be a disaster. What would that even make them?

A few hours slipped past as Damon sat going over it all in his head worriedly, until he heard a knock at the door. He got up in surprise. Who could that be? He opened the door and was surprised to find Elena standing alone staring at him nervously.

"Hey. Where's Stefan?"

"He's still at the hospital trying to get information out of John." She sighed and he stepped aside to let her in.

"You left him there? Are you crazy?" Damon asked in disbelief and she gave him an authorative look.

"He seemed ok, in control. I wouldn't have left him there otherwise. I guess the task of getting John to talk has taken over his hunger." She said and he shook his head and frowned. "I wanted to talk to you about that."

"I bet." He said dryly and motioned for her to come and sit in the lounge. She sat down and looked to him. He shifted slightly under the intensity of her gaze and frowned.

"Alright take your pound of flesh."

"That's not why I came here."

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"I…wanted to thank you for helping him. I know that I don't really understand how it's helping but he seems to be less volatile today." Damon laughed internally at that assumption. No way was Stefan less volatile. Stefan had practically thrown a strop to equal teenage girls before he'd left to go to the hospital.

"Ok." He said unsure.

"I know it hurts him to be around me and I just wish there was something I could do about it." She looked down at her hands and Damon let out a sigh in sympathy.

"I don't know if maybe you were right all along Elena. He's leaning on me, he's not standing on his own just now."

"I'm glad he can though. You can be here for him when I can't. I've always known there was something between you two. I'm glad that you're not fighting it anymore." She gave him a smile and he felt himself straighten in his chair and flush.

"What do you mean?" His voice was croaky.

"Damon, you act tough and pretend that you don't care about him, but I know it's not true. You love him."

"I…"

"You don't have to say it. I just like that you're willing to let him in now. He loves you so much."

"He's my brother." Damon squeaked suddenly wondering whether Stefan had told her about what had happened. Where was she going with this?

"And I can't compete with you. I don't want to compete with you. We need to work together if we want him back to normal. Please don't shut me out." She leaned forward as she spoke and he stood up, trying to shake off his discomfort. Why did he feel guilty and annoyed and embarrassed all at once? He hadn't even done anything and yet her words were hitting him with meaning that she didn't seem to be aware of. He cleared his throat unsure of how to respond and gave her a silent nod as he tried not to blush. She stood up and embraced him. He became a little rigid as she nuzzled against his chest but he held her carefully, not used to affection like this from her. Normally she was careful about how she touched him because she knew he had feelings for her. He relaxed a little, enjoying how warm she was pressed against him. She sighed and blew her breath across his collarbone and he closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them she had pulled back slightly to look up into his face. He was caught in her gaze entranced. Her eyes were so large and full of emotion. God if only he could kiss her. She was so beautiful. She flicked her eyes to his lips and licked her own and he felt his loins stir in desire. He held his breath as she slowly leaned into him and placed her lips onto his. He didn't know what to do so he did nothing. She began to kiss him sweetly and he found himself unable to resist her. He wanted her and she was making the moves. As they kissed he held her with more intention and ran his hand up her back and into her hair.

He didn't think or question it, he just went with the flow until a large crashing sound made them separate in surprise. Damon turned towards the sound to see Stefan fuming and looking like he was going to kill him. The veins in Stefan's eyes came out and he growled, fangs barred at him and Damon blinked trying to collect his wits as he dove for him. Elena screamed and moved aside as they fought, with Damon trying to grab him and control him.

"Stefan calm down!" He roared but Stefan was like a man possessed, his eyes burning like fire. Stefan hadn't fought this dirty in years and Damon took a few hits to the face that surprised him. Stefan was normally so reserved and tried to avoid fighting but now it was as though he was trying to beat Damon to within an inch of his life as they crashed around and groaned in pain. After a few minutes Stefan had to stop to breathe and recover. They were both messed up and in pain. Damon saw his opportunity and rammed a broken chair leg into Stefan's stomach, pinning him into the wall for a second as Stefan's eyes bulged open in pain, before pulling it back out to disable him. Stefan fell to the floor gasping as Damon tried to wipe the blood from his face. Stefan had broken at least three facial bones and his jaw in his assault and enough was enough!

He gasped for breath, wincing as he tried to push his broken bones back into place and watched as Stefan held himself almost sobbing. It must be excruciating considering he didn't heal as well without human blood. A sense of guilt came over Damon as he watched tears rolls down Stefan's cheeks. What had he done? He'd kissed his brothers girl then impaled him simply for taking out his justifiable anger. With that thought he quickly spun around looking for Elena wildly. She must be terrified.

"Elena?" Damon called in anxiety, but she was nowhere to be seen. Stefan made a sound between a sob and groan of pain and Damon turned back to him, dropping the chair leg.

"Are you ok?" He said, his voice laced with surprised remorse and Stefan tried to sit up, holding himself as blood coated the floor and his clothing. Damon swallowed.

"How could you?" Stefan sobbed in anger and Damon didn't know what to say. Stefan knew he wanted her too, why was it such a surprise to him Damon would kiss her? Oh that's right, they were supposed to be brothers again, close. He shook his head. They had ways to go before they could be like that again, if even at all. Damon wasn't that guy anymore. He did what he wanted always. And yet…

He moved forward to help Stefan to his feet but Stefan pushed him away as he stumbled, leaning against the wall gasping at the continuing pain.

"Don't touch me. I saw it all."

"What?" Damon asked warily.

"She kissed you." Stefan said in agony and Damon remained silent. Stefan looked at him briefly as he was overcome by sadness. Damon instinctively leaned in towards him and Stefan pushed him away again. "I hope you're happy with yourself."

"Stefan…" Damon began to say but Stefan waved his hand at him and struggled out of the house, trailing blood along the floor as he went. Damon ran his hands through his hair and searched for his cell phone to call Elena.

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Stefan walked as far as he could before he fell to his knees in the woods and cried until he had no tears left. He'd seen it all - seen her as she had peered into Damon's eyes and initiated that kiss. He didn't really blame Damon strangely. Damon had made no secret of his longing for her and he had simply responded like any man would to that situation. It hurt though…god it hurt so much. They were the two people in his life he cared about the most, despite Damon's behaviour and malice at times and they had betrayed him, made him feel like a fool. Was it his fault? Was it because he was so weak? Damon didn't have to abstain from normal blood. He could be strong and heal immediately and protect her. He was a normal functioning vampire when instead Stefan was…what? A vampire Frankenstein somehow? Prevented from being able to be what he was because of his lack of ability not to kill everything around him?

He stood up slowly, painfully as his stomach struggled to heal and headed onwards. He'd had enough of this constant battle with himself. It was too hard, too exhausting and it was never going to change or get any better. Damon's blood seemed to have given him a bit of his life back but now he could feel it in his bones that Damon wouldn't let him anymore. If only Damon wasn't his brother, if only he wasn't a man. If he could feed from a woman vampire perhaps they could have some sort of arrangement, but there was no one he could trust with something like this. It was so private and humiliating, there really had only been one person in the world he could have trusted and that person just had his tongue down Elena's throat.

Stefan let out a sigh as he finally reached the lake and sat down in a heap on the ground. It was so beautiful here, so serene. He'd always loved this place. It seemed apt that he should end up here. He watched the water lap up to the bank as he calmed and tried to meditate. He closed his eyes and inhaled the smell of the sun beginning to rise. Such a strange but comforting smell, as though the air was on fire somehow. He smiled at the thought of inhaling the sun beams as the sun rose before him and cast light over him, almost hugging him warmly. He exhaled and thought of Lexi. She would have loved this spot, but of course she was gone now. His only real friend. He lay back in the grass and looked up to watch the sky change colours. Everything the light touched seemed to come alive as if brand new. Every day life regenerated around them and they didn't notice it. Life everywhere but in them. Except Elena had been his light, his hope of change, of a life and now she wanted Damon. Stefan sat up and looked down at his hands. They were coated in his own blood and Damon's blood too. He pulled his ring off his finger, dazzling at how it gleamed despite the blood and tossed it into the lake as he lay back down again.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 TDT

Damon was walking around the woods following Stefan's blood trail when he smelled it, flesh cooking. He narrowed his eyes and took a large sniff, then panicked as he realised what it was. He blurred forward faster than he had ever moved before and found Stefan alight on the ground. He dove on top of him trying to cover him from the rays of sun but his jacket caught fire in the process too and he screamed as he felt fire lick his skin. He frantically rolled both of them into the lake, dousing the flames as he tried to react quickly. Stefan's ring! Where was Stefan's ring?! The water was icy cold and he blinked hard trying to get his brain to work amidst the shock of the temperature as Stefan lay under him with no life in his limbs. Then he saw it shining in the mud and he grabbed it fiercely and forced it onto what was left of Stefan's fingers. Stefan's whole face was barely anything but a black mask of tissue now. He looked like a burnt up corpse left over from a house fire. Damon lifted him and rose up to leave the water again as he breathed and coughed. He hated being under water, whether he could breathe or not. There seemed to be something so unnatural about being able to breathe under water. He carefully lay Stefan's body out of the water as he climbed up after him and reached down to rouse him.

"Stefan?" He touched his face carefully as Stefan's skin tried to heal. Stefan was out. No way would he wake up without blood and lots of it. Damon looked around, scanning the forest for an animal. All of the noise Damon had made as he screamed had no doubt scared them all away. He stood up and sniffed the air searching for anything, even a rabbit. He could sense that there were some smaller animals nearby. He looked down at Stefan warily, unsure whether he should leave him at all but he had to get him some blood. He dashed into the woods like lightning, trying not to stray too far away from Stefan's charred remains and managed to catch a mountain lion as it was prowling for its breakfast. The cat didn't come down without a fight but he managed to break its neck without too much injury to himself. He wasn't used to his meals having claws or sharp teeth and he was surprised at how difficult it had been to kill the thing. He carried it back pleased with himself and knelt down next to Stefan as he tore into its throat and placed its neck to Stefan's mouth. Stefan's lips opened slightly and allowed the blood to pour in. Stefan's skin very gradually began to appear less corpse like and hideous, but it was slow. God animal blood really was a poor substitute.

After a few minutes Stefan opened his eyes and made a sobbing sound. He was in pain. Damon moved the animal from his mouth and called to him. Stefan looked up at him in pain. Stefan choked.

"How badly does it hurt?" Damon asked gently and Stefan closed his eyes. "I'm going to get you a human." Damon decided and moved to stand when Stefan choked again desperately and rasped through his burnt vocal chords weakly.

"No!"

"Stefan look at yourself! You need it!" Damon hissed at him incredulously and Stefan shook his head slowly and sobbed in agony as the movement caused his whole body to alight with pain. "You stupid idiot Stefan!" Damon growled angrily and Stefan closed his eyes again. Damon stood up and huffed angrily. He would need another larger animal. Maybe a deer…maybe the blood of a deer would…

"No more death." Stefan whispered, bringing Damon out of his thoughts. "We are death enough."

"What are you babbling about?" Damon exhaled.

"I won't spread my death anymore. Everything is so beautiful and I tar it." Damon huffed again and stared down at him. Was Stefan hallucinating? Had he finally lost his mind? He leaned down and lifted Stefan into his arms as Stefan cried in pain.

"You don't get to die yet Stefan. You forced me into having to live forever so I'm going to make sure you damn well do too!" Damon growled and walked as fast as he could back to his car. Stefan passed out in his arms and Damon lay him gently into the seat as he climbed into the Camaro and sped back to the boarding house. He'd have to force Stefan to drink. He wasn't going to heal properly otherwise and they had problems he was going to needs Stefan's help with. It hadn't taken him long to realise how stupid he had been not to realise that she hadn't been Elena. Elena would never run off and leave them fighting. That girl was so hair-brained and in love with Stefan she would have attempted to break them up and probably got hurt in the process. Someday he believed she would and it would be their fault. Always fighting, always trying to hurt each other…it was an exhausting cycle that Damon enjoyed up until recently. Up until they had began to connect again. Up until Damon had started to feel again.

Stefan stirred in his arms and began to sob from the pain of healing so slowly and Damon carried him up to his bed and lay him down gently. He blurred down to his room and pulled a canvas aside from the wall to access a safe behind it. He punched in his code and retrieved a bag of A positive from the unit inside. He'd taken great care to find a safe with a temperature regulator inside for keeping blood at the right temperature. He knew a simple barrage of locks on the fridge wouldn't suffice to keep Stefan out. He began to walk back towards Stefan's room when he heard Stefan cry in agony and fear. His dumb ass brother and his latest cry for help. He stopped and closed his eyes, affected by the sound. Tears began to form in his eyes and he tried to shake them away. He had caused this pain. Elena was right. He shouldn't have encouraged Stefan to lean on him so much, but now that he had he couldn't just leave Stefan to sort himself out cold turkey. Stefan had proven time and time again that he couldn't do cold turkey. He needed help.

"Damon!" Stefan cried and Damon rushed in again with the bag in his hands. Stefan saw it and began to cry harder.

"I can't, please!" Stefan begged. "Please Damon." Damon swallowed. He knew what Stefan was asking. He looked down at the bag in his hands and made a sound of confliction. Stefan just didn't understand how hard this was. He didn't know how sensual, how confusing it was. He looked to Stefan in torment and Stefan curled into himself.

"I'll mix it for you…" Damon began, trying to think of a way out of this and Stefan sobbed into his pillow silently. He looked so desperate. There was nothing more painful than fire and Stefan was healing so slowly that it must be as though he was still aflame and burning. "Stefan?" Damon croaked, his voice loosing its calm but Stefan didn't move and started to shiver noticeably. Damon groaned in panic and frustration and ripped the top of the bag open, quickly drinking it as fast as he could. He almost vomited he tried to swallow so quickly, so he calmed his pace and concentrated on draining it methodically. He had fed well today, sipping from his blood filled brandy glass all day, so he felt strong, but if he was going to do this he wanted to ensure he wouldn't become weak enough to lose his wits. He finished the bag and wiped his mouth with his arm, when he caught some of the burnt material on this forearm. He groaned as he inspected it and took it off. His jacket was ruined by the fire. He climbed on to Stefan's bed and tried to pull Stefan over him. Stefan was clearly in a lot of pain and his joints were stiffening. Moving was difficult so Damon had to be gentle as he pulled him into his lap and held him, placing his wrist to Stefan's mouth.

"Drink brother." He advised and Stefan opened his eyes in surprise and bit without hesitation. Damon groaned a little at the sharpness and ferocity of Stefan's feeding and he lay his head back against the headboard as he tried not to tense up. Stefan pulled his mouth away and drew in some deep breaths as though he was waiting for his stomach to catch up with him and Damon urged him to continue as he watched Stefan's body become a little healthier looking. He watched in amazement as Stefan's skin visible began to clear and regenerate. Drinking second hand human blood must still work after all, it was healing him! Damon reached down with his other hand and touched Stefan's shoulder, inspecting it in awe and Stefan sighed under his touch. Stefan pulled away from his wrist again and dropped Damon's arm as he breathed. His lungs were still healing obviously because it sounded as though he was asthmatic. Stefan slowly pushed himself up to sit as he tried to calm his breathing down and Damon sat up with him, supporting his back.

Stefan turned round suddenly to stare at him and pushed him back into the headboard again gently.

"I need some more." Stefan breathed and Damon nodded, flushing slightly as he relaxed. Stefan turned over and leaned over him. He wanted Damon's neck and Damon could tell. He just wasn't sure if it was a good idea. Damon's pupils dilated as Stefan leaned in and put his lips to Damon's throat. He opened his mouth to suggest his wrist again but Stefan leaned into him with his whole body as though he couldn't support himself and bit down. Damon closed his eyes and tried not to struggle. He held Stefan around his waist to support him as Stefan brought his arms around him and squeezed. Stefan made sighing sounds of relief and pleasure that tickled Damon's neck hair and set them standing on end. This was one of the miseries of this equation. Sounds like that were an automatic turn on and Damon groaned a little and bit his lip as he felt a little ripple of desire coarse through him. Stefan melted against him, beginning to stroke him tenderly as though to soothe him and thank him and Damon let out a puff of air. Stefan pulled back stiffly with a pained expression on his face.

"Please, I need more." He said and Damon closed his eyes as he sweated from the act of keeping his body under control. Stefan looked down at Damon's groin and made a sound of urgency. "Please Damon…" Stefan knew this was the point when Damon would want him to stop as Damon was hard and aching inside of his jeans. Damon clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes closed, not responding and Stefan took that as silent permission and leaned carefully back into his neck again.

"Uhhh…" Damon sounded and bit his lip in annoyance. God there was nothing like this feeling and he couldn't ignore it however hard he might try. Stefan's skin still wasn't back to normal and Damon knew it was going to take more feeding. Could he do this for much longer? He could feel his pulse in his groin and his jeans were squashing him now. He reached down and squeezed through the denim to try and relieve some of the ache and Stefan moved to accommodate the movement. Stefan licked over the wound and bit a fresh one and Damon tilted his head back and couldn't suppress a gasp of pleasure.

"Stefan, I can't…" He panted and Stefan pulled back looking at him anxiously and weakly. "I can't do this much longer."

"Let me help you." Stefan whispered sincerely and Damon shook his head and groaned as his manhood throbbed. Stefan whimpered and looked down at his body still black and charred in places and he choked in horror and fear. Damon's heart squeezed as Stefan realised the full extent of the damage to his body. Stefan looked at him in desperation and Damon exhaled.

"Ok, I'll try. Stefan I might need to…" Damon began and Stefan gave him a look of understanding and opened the button on Damon's jeans, unzipping his fly for him in contemplation of Damon's meaning as Damon gasped in surprise. Stefan didn't touch him though, he wanted to let him know that he knew what Damon needed to do and he was ok with it so he merely moved back into his neck and bit down again as Damon began to pant again. Damon reached down and pulled his member out, stroking it. He couldn't believe he was actually doing this but he couldn't argue with his body any longer. He began to stroke the tender flesh there up and down, up and down, tighter and with more pressure as Stefan sucked, stroked his back and moaned as his body healed.

"Uhhhh…" Damon tilted his head back again and Stefan moved around to the front of his throat and bit there so that Damon had to move right back and lie down fully onto the pillow bearing his throat. The pulsing of his blood as Stefan suckled and the pressure of his body pressed against him made Damon lose his wits as he feared and he moaned and pumped himself with more ardour.

"Uhhhh, uuhhh…" He began to moan as he sped up towards his release and Stefan began to moan with him as though egged on by his arousal, until they were both moaning and moving against each other, Damon in rapture and Stefan intoxicated.

"I'm going to…" Damon panted and Stefan understood and bit down harder as Damon's whole body erupted against him. Stefan kept his fangs in, holding Damon to him tightly as he enjoyed Damon's pleasure and excitement. Damon panted and deflated back into the bed relieved, allowing Stefan to feed on and caress him with love and appreciation. Damon closed his eyes and sighed, drifting into a peaceful snooze filled with pleasure and comfort. The feel of Stefan's suckling at his skin, a gentle caress of worship that made him feel safe and cherished.

Damon was unsure how long he slept for but when he woke up he was hungry but happy. He opened his eyes groggily and looked around. His orientation felt weird and for a moment he didn't know where he was. He looked beside him and saw Stefan laying asleep next to him, face covered in dried blood. He relaxed and looked Stefan over. His body still had some healing to do but he was much improved. Damon had better get some more blood for him. He reached down remembering that he'd touched himself and was embarrassed to note that his manhood was still on display. He carefully tucked himself back into his jeans, but it took some effort. He felt weak and hungry. Stefan must have fed on him while he slept too. He struggled to lift himself up into a seated position so he rolled onto his side. He must have made a grunt of effort as Stefan opened his eyes.

"Hey." Stefan said.

"Hey." Damon replied. "How do you feel?"

"Horrible."

"Serves you right." Damon said with a hint of anger in his voice as he tried and failed to sit up again. Stefan sat up and tried to help him.

"I'm sorry I don't know when I stopped. Are you weak?"

"I'm fine." Damon said but he didn't look fine. Stefan cupped his jaw and Damon flinched a little in surprise. Stefan had never touched him like this before.

"I'll get you some blood." Stefan said as he got out of the bed shakily and edged his way along it towards the door. Damon sighed when he realised he had locked the blood away to prevent Stefan from getting to it. If he told him the code to the safe then it would render it useless.

"Stefan, you don't know where it is."

"So tell me. I won't drink it, it's for you." Stefan stated and Damon grunted and hung his head in defeat. "You need it Damon, tell me where it is."

"I don't trust you." Damon groaned and Stefan huffed.

"So…what, you're just going to lie there like that rather than let me retrieve it for you?" Damon groaned and lay back down as his head spun. Stefan sighed and came back to lie back down on the bed beside him.

"What a pair we are." Stefan grunted and Damon closed his eyes feeling lightheaded and sleepy again. He made a sound of hunger and sighed and Stefan looked over at him thinking.

"This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't needed so much of your blood." Stefan mused. "Just tell me where it is brother."

"No." Damon whispered. Stefan felt himself grow annoyed at him and he made another split second decision. He bit into his wrist and placed it to Damon's mouth. Damon's eyes popped open wide in surprise and his mouth opened involuntarily as Stefan's blood poured into his mouth. He tried not to accept the blood, not to swallow it but he couldn't, it was automatic. He held Stefan's wrist and began to suck. He'd take a little to make himself strong enough to get up and feed properly. As he drank gratefully he felt Stefan tense.

"Uhhhh…" Stefan gasped and tensed again. "Oh my god…" Stefan drooled and Damon opened his eyes and let Stefan retrieve his hand as Stefan flushed and panted, looking at him in shock and surprise. Damon sat up with a little more ease and looked to Stefan again as Stefan stared at him wide eyed. Neither spoke for a minute as Stefan calmed himself.

"I had no idea." He said apologetically. "Every time…you felt…like that?" Damon nodded, blushing a little as he cleared his throat and zipped up his jeans to give himself something to do to deviate from Stefan's stare of amazement.

"The joys of blood sharing brother." Damon tried to lighten the mood but Stefan lay back still looking shocked and stared up at the ceiling. Damon gave a small chuckle and moved to stand up. He felt a little better – vampire blood wasn't so bad for helping regenerate a little it seemed. He was genuinely surprised by that. He made his way slowly to his room and retrieved a fresh blood bag from the safe. He opened it and began to drink thirsty. So now Stefan knew. Damon actually felt relieved about it. Perhaps now Stefan would stop stroking him when he was feeding and stop offering to touch him. He finished off the bag and wondered what his next course of action should be. Clearly Stefan still wasn't completely healed. That meant that he would have to feed him again. He blew a breath out and grimaced at the thought. It was getting a little too easy for him to talk himself into believing that it was okay to climax with Stefan present. It was creepy. He heard a glass break in Stefan's room and blurred down the hall to him.

He rounded the corner into his room to see Stefan trying to get out of the bed again. He was so unsteady he had knocked a glass on his nightstand over in the attempt to rise.

"Stefan lie down for god sake!"

"I need to hunt." Stefan said tiredly and Damon came around to the side of the bed and held him steady as Stefan winced.

"You can hardly stand brother. I think Bambi is going to be a little too fast for you today. Sit down."

Stefan sat down as instructed and Damon was surprised at that. Stefan usually never did what he suggested. Stefan looked up at him wide eyed and child-like. It pulled at Damon's brotherly sense of duty.

"You can't hunt. You haven't healed yet. Besides, animals will take forever to heal you."

"I can't keep drinking from you." Stefan sighed.

"Why not?"

"Because of how it feels." Stefan shook his head slowly, still trying to recover from the knowledge of just how erotic being fed on was in reality. Damon swallowed and tightened his jaw.

"Like you said before, it's not like you want me Stefan. I'm your brother. It's just a consequence of feeding."

"It's more than that though." Stefan whined in distress. "I enjoy it too much, especially when you do." He flushed in embarrassment and shame and avoided Damon's eyes as he spoke. Damon went a little rigid before him but didn't say anything. "It makes me feel like I'm cheating." He bowed his head.

"Cheating?" Damon croaked filled with discomfort at where the conversation was heading.

"On Elena. I used to feel like I wanted to feed on her because I longed for her so much, but now…" Damon inhaled sharply as Stefan paused. "…I just want to feed from you." Stefan looked up at him as Damon's eyes widened. "I know I can't hurt you and you understand how much I need this. You get it. I feel like I can have my life back if I can do this with you. My life with her…" Then Stefan remembered what had made him take his ring off in the first place and he stopped mid sentence and hardened slightly. Damon noticed the change in his expression and took a step back.

"There's something I have to tell you brother." Damon said nervously and Stefan pulled a tight expression. "Katherine's in town."

"What?!" Stefan gasped and suddenly all the pieces clicked in his mind as he realised with great relief that it had been Katherine kissing Damon. He smiled in relief and took a deep breath as Damon clenched his jaw.

"It wasn't her." Stefan sighed happily and opened his eyes to see Damon's hurt but tight expression. "You thought it was her though didn't you? You didn't know." Stefan accused.

"_She_ kissed _me_." Damon said emphatically and Stefan felt anger begin to boil inside of him again.

"You didn't stop her!" Stefan hissed and Damon's face changed to one of stone before him. Stefan flinched as it happened and he lost his sense of anger completely as he realised how close Damon was to the edge. He could easily go back into himself and become the monster that Stefan had been fearing and living with for months now, instead of the brother he was seeing come back to him gradually.

"Why change the habit of a lifetime huh?" Damon hissed back at him and Stefan took a deep breath.

"Why is she here?"

"To screw us over again, why else?" Damon was mad still and Stefan sighed tiredly.

"We can't let her do this to us again."

"What do you suggest dear brother?"

"We have to stay united against her. Show her she can't break us anymore." Stefan looked into his eyes and saw a hint of emotion behind them as Damon thawed slightly.

"There's nothing here to break Stefan." Damon said flatly and Stefan looked up at him sadly.

They were just beginning to connect again, beginning to become what they had been so long ago and now she could ruin everything. For a long time Stefan had wanted to be as far away from Damon as possible, but these past few months had reminded him of how much Damon felt and persecuted himself for. Behind his steely façade there really was the brother he remembered and he desperately wanted him back.

"I'm not going to fight with you anymore." Stefan said quietly and lay back down with effort. Damon stayed stock still for a few minutes as Stefan closed his eyes and tried to rest.

"I kissed Elena, Stefan."

"Because you feel something for her. Because you actually care and I'm not going to let her destroy that part of you that is willing to feel something again." Stefan said still resting with his eyes closed as Damon blinked at him. Damon was speechless. After a few minutes of silence Stefan looked over at him.

"She's here for a reason. We need to find out what." Damon nodded absent mindedly. "Damon…" Stefan began, unsure how to ask this time. They'd just had another huge argument that didn't lend itself to allowing the intimacy of blood sharing, but he needed it badly. He let his silent request hang in the air as Damon clenched his jaw again and sighed.

"Please brother." Stefan invited and Damon begrudgingly sat down next to him and offered him his wrist. Stefan sat up stiffly and took his hand, biting into his wrist as Damon closed his eyes and sighed.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The next few days had been challenging to say the least. Stefan still wasn't right and feeding on Damon so regularly had made them both so horny and testy it was unreal. Damon usually went out on the prowl when he felt like this but he didn't have the time to get laid, not when they had bigger problems to keep them occupied. Caroline had been turned into a vampire by Katherine in the middle of the night and now everyone was freaking out. Damon's typical nonchalance when it came to Caroline's welfare became apparent through his refusal to accept any other plan that putting her out of her misery and their care. Elena and Stefan refused, even though Stefan knew he was right. Things started to feel a little normal, with Damon pulling back into himself and acting selfishly like before and Elena and Stefan ganging up together. The only moments Damon seemed to open up were when Stefan had to feed.

Damon had been trying to regulate the feeding and gradually reduce the amount Stefan was taking in order to give them some sort of linear path of progress to monitor, but Stefan never made it easy. Now that he knew Damon was aroused and enjoyed it, he used that to let Damon give him a little more at times, before Damon became wise to it pretty quickly.

Damon shivered, biting his lip as Stefan sucked from his wrist. Since Damon had began to observe his tactics and not give in to them, Stefan was getting better at not losing his control because he knew that if he took too much Damon wouldn't feed him as regularly. It was as though Damon was trying to nurse him.

Stefan sighed in pleasure and Damon's cheeks began to glow.

"Enough. Stop." Damon whispered straining to keep desire from his tone and Stefan groaned but retracted his fangs. He licked over Damon's wrist appreciatively and allowed Damon to pull away. Damon stood up and moved a safe distance away from him, doing up the cuffs on his shirt as Stefan breathed and controlled his desire to lunge at him for more. It was getting easier.

"You're getting better. Soon you won't need me." Damon said and Stefan frowned anxiously. He didn't want to lose this. He wiped the expression of need from his face as Damon looked over at him.

"I need to be strong."

"You will be." Damon assured.

"It's the mayor's funeral today. Think Katherine will make an appearance?" Stefan asked casually. He really couldn't care less about the mayor - the man had been an ass, but Elena needed his support and now that they knew Katherine was lurking, he needed to be even more on the ball to protect her. Damon nodded.

"Are you coming?" Stefan asked, trying to conceal the hope in his voice and Damon gave him a small smirk.

"Social event of the week in Mystic Falls brother, besides, I'm supposed to be part of the council now. Gotta keep up appearances."

"If I need…"

"You won't Stefan. You're doing fine." Damon reassured.

"But if I…"

"You won't." Damon said emphatically and reviewed Stefan's pallor as Stefan gulped. "If someone haemorrhages in front of you then call me ok? I'll be there." Damon gave him a tight smile and Stefan instantly relaxed.

The day didn't go as well as Stefan hoped. Katherine indeed made an appearance disguised as Elena and outed herself to Bonnie. Thankfully he had been there to ensure Bonnie survived the encounter but he could see the questions germinating in her mind as to how Elena and she could be identical – a subject he hadn't the foggiest idea how to tackle. Katherine had declared her eternal love for him, expecting him to believe that she had come back for him, but he knew her tricks. That bitch had no heart, she didn't even understand love. She was here for something, he just didn't know what, but one thing he was sure of was her interest in dividing he and Damon. She had already made that intention clear when she had kissed Damon, fooling him into believing she was Elena. Stefan couldn't quite deal with how that made him feel still. He needed Damon on his side, so he had to put that behind him just now. No matter how hard she pushed they needed to ensure they were a united force, a wall between what her and what she wanted.

He had tried to go on a hunt to keep Damon happy that he was combining his feeding. When he returned he heard Elena's voice so he stopped just outside the front door to listen. Why was Elena here at this hour? He'd told her to stay at home in case Katherine was a threat tonight. Damon was supposed to be going to her not the other way around. Any vampire could walk into the boarding house! He focussed in his ears to listen.

"What no goodbye kiss? Come on, kiss me or kill me. We both know you're only capable of one." She teased and he realised as his skin prickled. Should he interrupt? There was sudden movement and his heart began to beat wildly. Surely Damon wouldn't fall under her spell again! After a few seconds he heard clearly what sounded like kissing and furniture being knocked into as he closed his eyes in dismay. _Damon, she's playing with you!_ He resolved to enter when he heard Damon gasp and tell her to pause. He stopped too, holding the handle tightly as he listened.

"I have a question. Answer it and we'll be back to fireworks and glare. Answer it right and I'll forget the last 145 years I've spent missing you. I'll forget how much I loved you and we can start over…" He was beseeching and Stefan held his breath as she let silence fill the air.

"I already know your question and its answer. Truth is, I've never loved you." Stefan's eyes popped open. "It was always Stefan." She said softly, almost apologetically and Stefan felt his body vibrate with adrenaline. He could hear Damon's clipped breathing as she walked away and exited through the window. Damon's heart was breaking and Stefan didn't know what to do. He felt like an unwelcomed intruder – some of the cause of his pain. Damon began to sound as though he was hyperventilating. He had to do something. He pulled the front door open nervously and caught the devastated expression on Damon's face. He was staring into nowhere, eyes glassy and filled with tears which fell down onto his cheeks as he struggled to breathe. Stefan walked in cautiously and Damon closed his eyes, spilling more tears down his face.

"Damon…" Stefan cooed gently and Damon gave a terse shake of his head in response. "Brother…"

Damon shot him a look of utter loathing and hatred and Stefan froze like a statue.

"I hate you." Damon hissed, his tone so cold it chilled Stefan to the bone.

"She's screwing with you brother. She can't love anyone." Stefan babbled trying in vain to change Damon's expression. "Damon don't let her do this to you. You're stronger than this!"

"Get out before I kill you." Damon growled, his vampire face showing angrily as Stefan frowned in disbelief.

"No!" He wasn't going to let Damon crash and burn, spiral out of control…Not anymore. They'd come too far! Damn her! Damon growled and stiffened. He was serious. Stefan gulped and held still. "I'm not going to leave you like this."

"Get out!" Damon shouted. Stefan took a step closer.

"I need you brother." Stefan gambled but Damon just got angrier.

"You only want me for blood and to look after your pets!" Damon roared and Stefan moved forward and grabbed him in an embrace tight enough to stop him from lashing out. Damon growled and tried to free his arms.

"I am not going to leave you!" Stefan growled back as he felt Damon begin to crack, breathing erratically. Stefan began to loosen his hold gradually and stroke his back as Damon began to calm. "It's you and me brother. You and me." Stefan cooed and Damon relaxed and lay unresisting in his arms but didn't hold him back. They stood for a few minutes, before Stefan pulled back and held Damon's face in his hands, looking at his eyes. Damon looked defeated and unbearably sad. Damon sighed hopelessly and shook his head.

"No." He choked and removed Stefan's hands from his face. "Leave me alone." Stefan let him go and watched as Damon grabbed a bottle of brandy on his way to his room, slamming the door loudly behind him once he reached the top of the stairs. Stefan stood astonished in the middle of the lounge. He had so much adrenaline he didn't know what to do with himself. He sat down but couldn't sit still, getting up multiple times to pace before trying to sit again. He didn't have any answers. He didn't know what to do. Katherine had always been Damon's reason for existing. He'd survived all of this time because he thought he could rescue her from the tomb, now they knew that she had known how much he longed for her and she hadn't given a damn about him. To top it off she told him now that all of his love had been wasted as she had never felt for him. Damon's whole life had been destroyed by that one statement and Stefan honestly didn't know if he would recover. He just couldn't imagine how that must feel.

As his scheduled feeding time approached Stefan became restless and jittery. Damon still hadn't come down from his room. What should he do? Damon already felt used, would this make that feeling worse? Damon had determined the schedule of feeding. Did he remember that he was due to do this tonight? Stefan felt his stomach clench in anticipation. He stood up for the hundredth time and began to pace again. He should check on him. He ascended the stairs audibly to give Damon a heads up to the fact that he was coming to check on him. Damon's door was closed so he paused as he went to knock and his hesitation gave the game away as Damon growled inside.

"What?!" Damon shouted and Stefan took a step back from the door. Damon was still dangerous. He was stronger and vicious and if he really wanted to hurt Stefan he could easily. Stefan cautiously opened the door and peaked in. Damon was laying on his bed looking at the ceiling dejected. He had removed his shirt and shoes so that he was merely dressed in his jeans.

"What do you want golden boy?" Damon asked quietly and Stefan entered and closed the door behind him. He didn't know how to respond and Damon smirked. "Must be dinner time huh? Why else would you creep in here like a slug?"

Stefan flinched at Damon's hate filled words and he sighed in grief.

"Don't tell me. You neeeed me right? God forbid you could face your own problems." Damon's words continued to spear him painfully but he remained silent and Damon turned to look at him blankly. "Why don't you go and cry in Katherine's arms? I'm sure she'd love that. You two have a shared ability to get what you want from people."

"Damon…"

"Hell maybe you're made for each other. Just think, if you two get back together maybe I could be with Elena…" Damon teased, trying to get under Stefan's skin.

"I'm sorry."

"What?" Damon stopped teasing mid sentence in response and stared at Stefan in bewilderment.

"I'm sorry." Stefan repeated. "I'm sorry for forcing you to become a vampire." Damon huffed in surprise. "I'm sorry I took her to my bed when I knew you loved her." Damon's expression hardened and he growled under his breath as Stefan continued. "I wanted to be like you. I wanted to _be_ you and she was so enticing. We had always shared everything, since the day I could walk and she had me believing that we could both share her too. That we three could be happy."

"Stop talking." Damon warned pensively.

"I wanted to come with you in whatever way I could. You were my world brother. I would have followed you anywhere, even into death and I thought I had. I swear when you were shot I wanted to die too. I thought I would." Stefan became a little emotional and he surprised himself as words tumbled from his mouth that he didn't expect. Words that he'd wanted to say for the longest time.

"When we woke up in transition I was confused. I never wanted it, but you were with me, alive again. When father…"

"When you murdered him." Damon added coldly.

"I couldn't stop. Then it was too late for me. I was so scared. I needed you. I was selfish and scared and I couldn't do it on my own. I needed you with me and I forced you into this. I'm sorry." Stefan moved closer as Damon scrutinised him and sat up.

"That's not why I hate you."

"Then why?" Stefan croaked as he stopped in front of him.

"Because she turned you. It was just supposed to be me Stefan. Just me." He said matter of factly, tensing and Stefan looked to the ground silently.

"I didn't want this." Stefan whispered and sat down on the edge of the bed as Damon moved away from contact with him. Stefan hung his head sullenly as Damon watched. "I just couldn't bear for you to go where I couldn't follow."

"What the hell is this Stefan?" Damon spat, searching for some hidden trick or plan within Stefan's confession. Stefan turned and looked at resolutely.

"I want my brother back."

"Your brother died 145 years ago." Damon sneered.

"You're a liar. I can see him in you somewhere. Why else would you feed me?"

"Because I like being able to play you like an instrument." Damon smirked, but Stefan shook his head.

"You might believe that but I don't. You're just scared of letting me in again." Stefan accused and Damon lay on his back laughing. "Why won't you let anyone love you Damon?"

"I only have eyes for one Stefan and she'll come around eventually." Damon smiled to himself as Stefan tried not to let it affect him. "At first they all want the poetry, the empathy but in the end they all come to me for what they really need."

Stefan growled in anger and Damon laughed again and looked at him menacingly.

"I don't mind seconds." Damon chimed innocently, smiling and Stefan finally lost it and lunged at him snarling. Damon laughed as he held Stefan's punches off easily. Stefan was no match for him. Stefan tried vainly to injure him, giving it all he had as Damon caught every punch and pushed him backwards. Stefan fell back gasping for breath as Damon's eyes gleamed at him with adrenaline.

"What's it like to be alone Damon? To never have the love you crave because you are too stupid and stubborn to accept it?!" Stefan shouted. Damon smirked, panting from the exertion. "What's it like to know you're going to die alone, forgotten about and pointless?" That stopped Damon smiling as his expression became angry again.

"Aren't you tired of this?" Stefan urged and Damon gulped and tried not to let emotion overwhelm him. "I just want you back. I loved my brother more than anyone in the world and if he were here, I'd die to protect him, to take away the pain that I've caused him." Damon took a shaky breath as he listened and became uncomfortable. Stefan crawled closer to him and Damon retreated to rest against the headboard.

"I know you feel and I won't let her destroy you like this. Not now. Not when we've…" Stefan huffed embarrassed and ran out of steam as he searched Damon's blank expression. Damon kept his face blank and Stefan sighed in resignation. He couldn't get through to him when he was like this. He slowly climbed off of the bed and stood up. He was so tired of fighting. He slowly left the room and closed the door behind him feeling washed out. Only Damon could drain him like this. Only two people who had loved each other and shared so much history could torture each other to such a degree.

Stefan flopped down onto his bed and closed his eyes. He'd just have to sleep hungry and hunt in the morning. He just hoped that he'd have the strength to deal with whatever Katherine pulled next. Caroline was new and scared and she needed his guidance. He had to be strong for her now too. It was ironic that he should step into that role for her, but somehow it seemed apt. If he could help her control her instincts then perhaps it would help him with his too somehow. Perhaps it was a necessary part of the healing process.

As he lay thinking it through he missed the sounds of tell tale footsteps approaching his door. Damon entered and gave Stefan a fright as he creaked the door closed behind him. Damon looked emotional but in control. Stefan sat up warily and faced him.

"Do you still want her?" Damon asked quietly and Stefan frowned. Who was he referring to? Katherine?

"No." Stefan said with absolute certainty. Damon seemed to relax but Stefan became concerned about what his answer meant for them both. Did Damon still want her? Was he making sure that Stefan wouldn't interfere should he try and get Katherine back again? Stefan shook his head slowly as he considered it. Damon was so desperate for love he would covet someone who had stated so heart breakingly that she didn't care for him?

"I don't want her back. I want _you_ back." Stefan said and Damon looked at him in the eyes. "Forget about her."

"She's all I've got." Damon murmured.

"You have me…and Elena. She cares for you too. You know that."

"You don't need me here messing up your love life."

"I do need you. I'll always need you Damon." Stefan said and Damon's eyes filled with tears that he refused to let fall. He screwed up his face in denial of his heart as Stefan watched in sympathy. Stefan climbed off of the bed and went to him, pulling him into an embrace. This time Damon held him to him gratefully and leaned his head on Stefan's shoulder. Stefan squeezed him and pulled back to hold Damon's face in between his hands again, bringing their foreheads together.

"I've missed you." Stefan whispered and pulled back as Damon frowned with his internal struggle. "What can I do?" Stefan asked, trying to think of some way to ease his suffering.

"Drink." Damon whispered and Stefan raised his eyebrows. "Make me forget for a while."

Stefan held his gaze for a few seconds, ensuring that he meant it before he pulled Damon forwards towards his bed and urged him to lie down. If Damon really wanted distraction he'd let Stefan feed from his neck and feeding from his neck was utterly blissful when he was allowed. Damon lay down and made himself comfortable as Stefan climbed on top of him.

"Thank you for being my brother." Stefan whispered and Damon angled his neck to allow him to bite. Stefan bit down and drank happily as Damon relaxed and closed his eyes. Something about the feeding felt different this time and Stefan wasn't sure why. He pulled back at the point where Damon normally stopped him and looked down at Damon's face. Damon's cheek were moist from tears and Stefan frowned.

"Are you ok?"

"No." Damon croaked. "Feed on me."

"More?" Stefan asked in surprise and Damon nodded. Stefan bit down again and Damon arched his back and sighed. Damon was craving a distraction, that's what this was. Stefan stroked his back like always and realised he was still shirtless. He felt a little taken aback at stroking his brother's bare skin and he ceased in surprise, but Damon pulled him into him suddenly. Stefan stopped and looked at his face confused and aroused.

"Help me." Damon whispered and tilted his pelvis into him slightly. Stefan was astonished. Damon was always vehement that Stefan wasn't to help his release, that that would be gross, but he wanted him to now? Stefan raised his eyebrows and Damon nodded. Stefan suddenly felt nervous and strange about it, so he lay his head into his neck again and began to drink as he slid his hand down into Damon's jeans and grasped a hold of him. The blood made him feel more confident and he began to pump him as Damon shivered and responded audibly, except Damon didn't hold back like usual. Damon moaned breathlessly and gyrated and Stefan blushed as he felt himself turned on by it. He felt oddly sated by the amount he had already drank, perhaps Damon's regular feeding was working after all and he didn't feel the need to take any more from him right now. He pulled back as he continued to pump him. Damon needed this. He watched his face as Damon panted and closed his eyes, close to climax and Stefan gazed in wonder at him. He'd never seen Damon's face like this, so unreserved, so taken over by sensation. He didn't know why he did it, he had no idea what it meant but he leaned down and captured Damon's lips as Damon moaned. Damon's eyes flew open and they stared at each other as Stefan pulled back, still pumping him. He expected Damon to be angry, instead Damon just gazed at him and held him tighter to him.

Stefan leaned down carefully and kissed him again, pulling back again to see his expression. It seemed oddly satisfying to keep watching Damon's face change colours with arousal. Damon was watching him unreserved. Stefan sped up his hand movements and Damon tilted his neck back as he moaned in pleasure and Stefan felt happy to observe rather than bite again. Damon seemed surprised. He raised his hands up to Stefan's back and pulled him down closer as he captured Stefan's mouth and pushed his tongue inside. Stefan jolted from the unexpected kiss but he didn't fight back. Damon's lips were so soft and their combined pleasure was overwhelming his brain. He responded passionately and Damon climaxed loudly into his hand and broke the kiss to shout.

As he regained his equilibrium Stefan sat back and looked at him, looked at his flushed cheeks and relieved manhood and he realised just how far this had gone, how far they'd crossed the line this time. Shit.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

They stared at each other wide eyed and panting. Damon's face gave away nothing as his cheeks continued to glow. Stefan rose slowly off of the bed and he moved to wash his hands in his bathroom silently as he tried to process what had just happened. Damon hadn't moved when he returned back to the room again. He ran his hands through his hair at a loss for words.

"You kissed me." Damon said quietly.

"You kissed me back." Stefan said in the same tone as they stared at each other. Neither knew what to say.

"Why did you?" Damon asked and Stefan took in how wide Damon's eyes appeared. His guard was down and he was totally vulnerable. Stefan had to be really careful here.

"I don't know." He whispered and Damon seemed to wince slightly at that. "I just thought you looked…open." Damon raised his eyebrows as he tried to comprehend his meaning. "Why did you kiss me?" Stefan countered.

"I wanted to." Stefan blinked at his response. "Unlike you Stefan I don't over think things. I do what I want."

"And you wanted to kiss your own brother?" Stefan said a little hurt at Damon's dig.

"My brother had his hands down my pants at the time, so yeah, shoot me." Damon sat up and became defensive. Stefan gulped and turned his back as he tried to think. What was going on? What had they done? What about Elena? Damon climbed off of the bed and walked past him heading for the door sternly. Stefan caught him by his arm and stopped him, swinging him around to face him. Damon looked angry again.

"Damon, wait we need to talk about this." He beseeched him.

"Why don't you write about it in your journal Stefan?"

"Don't do this. Not now. I'm confused."

"You're perpetually confused."

"Damon…" Stefan sighed and squeezed his eyes closed in torment, squeezing Damon's arm. He opened them again and Damon seemed to be a little softer. "I wanted to kiss you too." He croaked. There he had said it. He'd wanted to kiss him and touch him. It was beyond sick and depraved. He released Damon's arm and took a step back as he hyperventilated. He turned away from Damon again and began to pace slowly.

"Breathe brother, just breathe." Damon said softly and Stefan sat down on the end of his bed. How could Damon be so calm? He looked up at him in pain and torment and Damon sighed softly.

"It's the blood."

"What?" Stefan asked.

"It's the blood making us feel this way. It happens. I've never blood shared without sex until now." Damon confessed and Stefan's mouth fell open in shock. Sex?! Wait a minute…!

"I can't..!" Stefan stumbled and Damon sighed loudly.

"What did you expect would happen? You saw what it was doing to me. What made you think you could keep it to a safe level indefinitely?" Damon crossed his arms annoyed. Stefan choked horrified and looked at the ground.

"It felt good the other day but…"

"You've no idea what I've been going through. Maybe you should blood share with your girlfriend from now on." Damon smirked.

"What are you saying? You want to sleep with me?" Stefan sounded more panicked than anything and Damon began to harden again before his eyes.

"I don't want anything from you." Damon said coldly and Stefan put his head in his hands and tried to calm down. "I guess this little experiment is over." Damon remarked.

"Wait!" Stefan lifted his head again. He didn't want to stop. He couldn't stop. But if it meant that they'd eventually…how could he? How could they? It was…Stefan chewed his lip anxiously.

"Stefan you can't have it both ways. You can't do this to me anymore. Do you know how much this has been screwing with my head? You think I want to touch you?" Damon frowned but he was still hurt and angry.

"But you just said…"

"You feeding on me and telling me how much you love me is a lethal combination, which as usual you're oblivious to because it's not all about you!" Damon spat and Stefan felt his stomach churn. Was Damon right? Had he caused this situation?

"I'm sorry." He croaked, lost for any other words.

"For god sakes grow a backbone Stefan!" Damon said exasperated. "It's not like we had sex."

"But you want to?" Stefan asked wide eyed and Damon looked at him unsure and anxious. "Don't you?" Stefan frowned confused by Damon hesitance to answer.

"I don't know." Damon struggled with himself. "I just don't think we can control this anymore if you continue to feed on me. I don't know what'll happen." They fell into silence again as they both thought it through.

"We should stop before we do something we regret." Damon said.

"You don't feel that way about me when we're not feeding do you?"

"Of course not!" Damon growled angrily and Stefan stood up nervously.

"I don't get why it makes such a difference. I mean, you're not attracted to men are you?" Stefan asked honestly and watched as Damon's face grew red in anger and vexation. Damon moved forward and pushed Stefan backwards before he had a chance to think about what was happening. Stefan fell down on to the bed as Damon climbed over him.

"What are you doing?" Stefan breathed heavily and flushed.

"Allow me to demonstrate dear brother." Damon hissed as he nuzzled into Stefan's neck and bit down. Stefan shouted in surprise and arched his back. He closed his eyes revelling in the strange sensation in him. It felt like Damon was everywhere, his hands on his body, his body flush against him and his teeth inside of his neck. It was insanely erotic and he blushed and moaned. Was it always this intense for Damon? No wonder this had happened, in fact he was surprised that Damon had been able to restrain himself this long.

"Oh god…" Stefan moaned and Damon began to stroke his hands up Stefan's sides, carefully sliding his hands under Stefan's shirt. His hands were so warm and Stefan didn't flinch as he slid up smoothly and gracefully, exploring Stefan's skin. Damon pulled his mouth up to look at him.

"Now do you get it?" He breathed and Stefan opened his eyes and whimpered slightly.

"Yes."

"Do you want more?"

"Yes." Stefan moaned and Damon smiled and leaned back into his neck. Stefan felt his body temperature increase as his manhood hardened. He began to pant, suddenly aware of his clothing and how restrictive it was becoming. He squirmed trying to get some friction under the weight of Damon's body draped over him and Damon stopped and looked at him again.

"What do you want Stefan?" He asked gently, seeing the desire flaming in Stefan's cheeks.

"It's too hot. Damon please…"

"What?"

"Can you…help me? Like I helped you?" Stefan blushed scarlet at the request and Damon smiled and slid his hands down into Stefan's jeans. The second Damon wrapped his fingers around him, he felt a jolt go through him. His mouth fell open and Damon grinned beginning to pump him. Stefan knew he wouldn't last very long. Damon leaned back into Stefan's neck as he continued to pump him and Stefan almost cried in rapture. The combination of both sensations was explosive and he bucked his hips into Damon involuntarily as his breathing sped up.

"Stop, Damon I can't hold off. Damon….uhhhhh, Damon please!" Stefan cried out helpless under Damon's expert touches and Damon stopped and sat back feeling pleased with himself as Stefan tried to recover.

"Do you want the cherry on the cake?" Damon asked breathlessly as Stefan squinted and tried to comprehend. He moved back over Stefan again and unzipped his jeans, freeing him properly. Stefan's breath spiked and Damon leaned down and began to kiss him gently. Stefan responded immediately and Damon took him in hand and began to pump him again, quickly and with purpose and Stefan grabbed him, holding him close as he pushed his tongue in Damon's mouth urgently. Stefan was a goner now and Damon was enjoying every minute of the payback until Stefan suddenly moved and rolled them over so Damon was beneath him. Damon looked up at him in surprise and Stefan quickly undid Damon's jeans and pulled his member out too. Damon opened his mouth to speak but Stefan kissed him again and began to pump him. Damon continued his assault on Stefan's manhood at the same time as they both fell apart and gasped into each other's mouths as they let go and climaxed together. Stefan lay down on top of him, resting his face into Damon's neck as they panted, sated.

"Now…you understand." Damon panted and Stefan nodded against him, unable to speak yet. "You wanna stop now?" Damon probed and Stefan shook his head and lifted his face to look down at him.

"Let's make a deal. Whatever happens when we are sharing…stays between us. It won't affect us any other time, we won't talk about it." Stefan prompted and Damon gave a laugh of disbelief.

"What about Elena?" Damon posed.

"She's got nothing to do with this. This is between us." Stefan said resolutely and Damon's cheeks tinted a little.

"Isn't that cheating brother?"

"We're not having sex, we're just…helping each other. There's nothing wrong with that." Stefan said quickly and Damon laughed in disbelief at him.

"What about the kissing?" Damon raised and Stefan bit his lip.

"So we don't kiss anymore. Simple. It's just one brother helping another one out."

"I think you've finally gone mad Stefan, if you actually believe that."

"Do you want this or not?" Stefan asked annoyed and Damon was silent for a minute.

"Yes."

"Then those are the rules ok? No Elena, no kissing and no talking about it." Stefan reiterated and Damon nodded in agreement. "Good. I need a shower." Stefan got up and headed off into his bathroom happily as if nothing had happened as Damon sat up and reeled.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They tried their best to follow their own rules but it was difficult. Despite Stefan's protestations over whether or not he was cheating, he felt guilty. It never ceased to amaze him though, how well Damon could act. No one suspected a thing as Damon fell back into his usual role, antagonising everyone. He'd successfully managed to piss off a werewolf before they really even understood what the hell that meant for them. Things between Damon and Elena were also quite terse still too. It was as though she could sense that Stefan was still feeding from him, even though Stefan assured her that it was over. Stefan hoped she'd come around and learn to trust Damon again. They had been friends and Damon needed as many friends as he could get.

He had hoped that sending them off together on a trip to Duke with Rick, would help them mend some fences, so he was pretty surprised when Damon came back in a foul mood.

"What's your problem?" Stefan asked lightly as Damon threw himself down on the sofa beside him and filled his brandy glass.

"Your back stabbing girlfriend." He mumbled as the ice in his glass clinked off of his front teeth.

"What?" Stefan turned slightly to face him and Damon shook his head. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" Damon said outraged at Stefan's assumption. He stood up huffily and walked back over to his brandy cabinet to pull out one of his lesser fine bottles. He needed a drink tonight and he wasn't going to guzzle the good stuff away. As he searched in the cabinet Stefan caught sight of the tear in the back of his shirt and he got up to inspect it. There was blood around it. What happened?

"Rough day?" Stefan asked as he reached out and touched the exposed section of Damon's skin visible beneath the torn fabric with his fingertips. Damon shrugged him off.

"The usual." Damon huffed and turned around. God his mood was crappy. Stefan folded his arms and frowned at him.

"Anything I should worry about?" Damon smiled with false sweetness at him in response and Stefan shook his head. "Are you going to be like this all night?"

"Why, have any plans?" Damon smirked at him, knowing that he had a feed coming up. Stefan clenched his jaw and moved away to return to his seat. He lifted up the book he had abandoned when Damon had walked in and resumed reading, unwilling to rise to the bait. Damon watched him impressed and drained his glass, sitting it down. He lay it down carefully onto the side table as he daydreamed. Elena had really hurt him today. He'd thought with enough time she would see how much he cared for her, that he never wanted to hurt her, but she was cold and calculating. He had seen Katherine in her today, just for a second and it had shocked him. Why didn't Stefan see it? Maybe she only showed her true colours to Damon, just like Katherine he supposed. Katherine had always been straight with him about who she was and when it came to the crunch she hadn't even blinked when she'd torn his heart into pieces. Elena had worn that same expression when she had castigated him tonight. Damon was willing to bet that she'd never been so cold to Stefan. All the ladies loved Stefan and would forgive him anything.

He felt mad at her. He wanted to get back at her, even though he knew it would make things worse.

"My room or yours?" He said quietly and Stefan looked up in shock at his use of words. He chuckled tapping his watch and Stefan blushed as he realised what Damon was suggesting. Elena had a habit of turning up here at times and so they had to do Stefan's feeding in his room to ensure privacy.

"Unless of course, you don't want to tonight?" Damon teased and Stefan threw his book down beside him and stood up irritated to follow him up the stairs.

"Stop gloating." Stefan huffed as he noticed Damon's smile of triumph and they entered Stefan's room and locked the door. They faced each other. Since their agreement not to talk about it, it was making them both feel a little odd. It was difficult to initiate the feeding right now.

"You wanna lie down?" Damon suggested and Stefan shook his head. He didn't want to take the chance they might get too hot and bothered. They'd agreed not to kiss or have sex and he wanted to make sure that that didn't happen.

"Standing is good." Stefan said and Damon smiled.

"It might be for you but my legs will go jelly Stefan."

"Lean back against the wall then." Stefan relented and Damon leaned back against the wall and unbuttoned his shirt to allow Stefan to access his neck fully.

"Don't take it off, leave it on." Stefan commanded and Damon chuckled again as he leaned back and waited. "God your such an asshole sometimes Damon."

"I can't help it if I have skin like marble brother."

Stefan shook his head annoyed and moved against him. Damon tilted his neck and held Stefan's hips lightly as he leaned in and began to drink. Leaning against the wall really helped actually. Damon's body responded as it usually did but the wall gave him support enough for him not to lose control of his body completely.

"Uhhhh!" He moaned. The fact that they'd let themselves go so much meant that it didn't take as long for them both to become very hot and bothered and Stefan was no exception this time. He reached around and held Damon closer to him around his waist and Damon let his head tilt slightly back as he sighed. He waited, in full knowledge that there was no way Stefan could stop himself from touching him. He'd seen Stefan's pupils dilate at how soft and smooth Damon's skin was on his torso. His shirt fell away to the sides to expose his stomach and chest to Stefan's body and Stefan automatically stroked around to it and hummed into his neck. Elena couldn't do this for Stefan. Perhaps this was the best payback – that they could have this and she was completely unaware of how much they both enjoyed and wanted it.

Stefan pulled back sighing and breathing heavily and Damon fluttered his eyelids seductively and parted his lips. Stefan looked at his mouth. He began to lean in to kiss him and Damon smiled.

"What about the rules Stefan?" Stefan seemed to realise and he pulled back. "Don't you have something to help me with?" He added huskily and Stefan reached down and rubbed over Damon's erection in his jeans. Damon bit his lip and leaned his pelvis into his hand as he closed his eyes.

"Only if I can have more. I missed a feed earlier because you were away all day." Stefan blushed and squeezed Damon's groin, catching Damon's breath in his throat.

"Deal." Damon breathed and Stefan tried to slip his hand down Damon's waist band. His jeans were really tight and he couldn't get his fingers in. Damon leaned back into the wall, eyes closed nonchalantly and Stefan realised he was going to have to remove the jeans. He unbuttoned them begrudgingly and pulled them down to Damon's knees, surprised at how hard Damon was so quickly. With Damon's shirt already lying open Stefan could see him in full view and he tried not to look. He felt like a peeping tom almost. He took Damon in his hand and stroked him a few times, enjoying the red tinge in his cheeks.

"Bite me." Damon panted and Stefan decided he wanted to try the other side of his neck for a change. The change made Damon gasp unexpectantly and Stefan squeezed him so firmly he groaned. Damon could tease all he wanted, Stefan could best him at his own game. He pumped him without mercy, hard and fast as he gulped his essence down as though he was starving and Damon began to shake and groan. Damon whined and Stefan drew back in surprise, wondering if he'd hurt him and Damon took that second to push them both onto the floor in a heap. Stefan cried out in surprise as his head hit the floor and he felt dazed. He still had Damon's manhood in his hand and Damon gyrated into it sighing.

Damon looked down at him hungrily and captured his mouth, not taking no for an answer. Stefan tried to break the kiss off, taking both hands and placing them on Damon's sides to try and push him back but Damon growled and began to undress him.

"Damon.." Stefan tried to argue in between breaths but Damon was lost to lust and tore his shirt open, scattering buttons across the floor as Stefan tried to stay in control. He was aching, hard at the passion but they'd said they wouldn't do this!

"Stop.." He panted and Damon began to kiss down the side of his face into his neck. He slid his hands under Stefan's bottom and pulled his hips upwards so that their erections rubbed together for a second. Stefan groaned.

"I'm going to fuck you brother." Damon whispered in his ear seductively and Stefan groaned again, his fight leaving him.

"No, Damon don't.." He whimpered and Damon smiled against his skin and bit into his neck. Stefan shouted and sucked in a breath. He knew he was going to lose this battle. "Please don't…"

This was everything they said they wouldn't do. This would be cheating on Elena, this would be incest, depravity, horror! No they couldn't, they couldn't! Stefan didn't like men, he liked women. He tried his hardest to think of warm breasts and the taste of a woman's sex as Damon pulled his jeans off and moved between his legs.

"I don't want to…" Stefan whined and Damon looked down at him intently. "Don't." Stefan pleaded. Not only was this frightening because it was his brother, he had never had sex with a man before. Being penetrated was a terrifying prospect. His fear poured out of his expression and Damon sat back enough to allow him to sit up too.

"I'm sorry." Damon panted, his tone strange, full of need but self loathing too. "Don't be scared of me." Stefan looked down at his body, noticing just how nude he'd become. He looked up at Damon and caught his breath as he saw tears in Damon's eyes. Damon was looking away and trying to gather himself.

"What happened to you today?"

"Elena used me for information." Damon swallowed and suddenly Stefan clicked. That's what all of this unbridled passion had been about. Sex was Damon's escape just like blood was Stefan's. It all made such sense, he could kick himself for never having added up the pieces before now.

"I'm sorry." Stefan empathised and Damon looked at him, eyes wide and full of anguish.

"Please let me Stefan. I need you." He whispered croakily and Stefan gulped. "I won't hurt you, I promise. Take all the blood you want."

"Damon if we do this…"

"I need it." Damon frowned and Stefan felt his stomach churn a little in excitement. He blinked in surprise at that sensation. Damon gave him what he needed, would this really be anything different? Damon crawled forward to his face and kissed his lips gently as Stefan held himself tight and unsure. He kissed him back, letting Damon take his erection in hand again.

They were so going to regret this….


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Damon lay down on top of him again, kissing heatedly as Stefan tried to catch his breath. Damon was hard and aching as he pressed against his groin and Stefan felt adrenaline charge in his veins with a hint of fear and expectation. There was a tiny amount of excitement in the mix that he couldn't comprehend as Damon devoured his mouth with enough practised skill that he now understood why women fell at Damon's feet left, right and centre. He tilted up into the kisses moaning in appreciation and wonder and Damon began to stroke his skin, soothingly, teasingly enough to make him start to burn for him. He opened his legs a little wider in response, his manhood pressing against Damon's muscular thigh and Damon moaned into his mouth.

Their combined breathing and sighing sounded so erotic, it was enough to rob anyone of their reason. Stefan was so glad he'd locked the door.

"Hmmm I want you." Damon breathed and Stefan sighed in response.

"Damon it's me." Stefan squeaked, irritated that he didn't sound more objectionable about it. Damon hummed and slid his mouth down over Stefan's chest, licking the line of muscle to his nipples. Stefan tilted his groin upwards in response and Damon circled his tongue around the sensitive buds as he slid his hands down to Stefan's bottom. Feeling Damon's hands on his naked behind brought Stefan's perspective back finally. Damon wanted to be inside of him. He lightly stroked a finger down the crease of Stefan's buttocks, easing them apart ever so slightly and Stefan jolted a little in fear. He couldn't let this happen.

"Damon, stop. Stop." He breathed. "This isn't right."

"Stop thinking." Damon murmured as he kissed back up to Stefan's neck.

"This isn't about me. This is about Katherine." Damon lifted his head at the mention of her name and looked at him in confusion. "You're trying to escape the pain she's caused you. You don't want me. I'm your brother." Stefan reasoned and Damon frowned and hesitated.

"You want this too." He argued.

"I can't Damon." Stefan stated softly and Damon climbed off of him and stood up looking claustrophobic and alarmed. "This isn't real what you're feeling. It's an addiction." Stefan sat up relieved.

"I supposed you're the expert on that!" Damon bit back, clearly embarrassed at being rejected and struggling to deal with everything he was feeling.

"Talk to me." Stefan stood up slowly, not wanting him to scarper away and retreat. He reached for a pair of jeans hung over his chair and pulled them on again, finally feeling a little more secure. He had been a stone throw away from opening his body up for him. What a strange compulsion. He wondered idly what women must feel like at that point during arousal and he had been aroused, he still was.

"For weeks now, whenever you needed me to lie here and be what you needed I did it without any fight. I let you and now when I need something from you, you refuse?" Damon was still angry and Stefan couldn't really blame him.

"I know." Stefan said apologetically. "If we did this it would backfire badly. It's a mistake brother. One you would regret forever. There'd be no coming back from it and I don't want that for you." Stefan said and Damon closed his eyes and tried to rein in his anger.

"I won't put you through this anymore." Stefan whispered.

"You're going back to deer?"

"I have to, for both of our sakes." Stefan gulped and Damon seemed to calm a little as reason started to return. He grabbed his jeans from around his ankles and pulled then up slowly as Stefan turned his back to give him some privacy. It felt strange to turn away. They were brothers, they had been naked in each other's presence before and it was no big deal, so why was Stefan feeling nervous now? He turned back after a minute. Damon was buttoning up his shirt and frowning to himself absentmindedly.

"We have to do something about Lon Chaney." He said and Stefan blinked at the sudden change of topic. How did Damon do that? Flip from one to mood to another without taking a breath. It was dizzying! Damon looked to him when Stefan didn't answer. "He's a werewolf Stefan. His bite can kill us and he'll probably start with me."

Stefan realised what this sudden change in conversation was. It was self preservation. Damon needed to deflect his feelings into something else. He felt vulnerable. Stefan ought to give him a break and just go with it.

"Because you took it upon yourself to piss him off?" He folded his arms and watched as Damon visible relaxed. He was glad that Stefan was following his lead away from the topic of sex between them.

"Had to see how easily I could kill him didn't I?" Damon snorted and Stefan huffed in thinly veiled amusement and dismissal.

"Let me talk to him, maybe there's still a way out of this peacefully."

"Now where would be the fun in that brother?" Damon smirked and moved to leave. He paused at the doorway before he left to go to his room. "Goodnight." He said quietly, showing some real feeling again for a second as Stefan watched him leave and close the door. Stefan sat down on his bed and exhaled. That had been so close. He lay down on his bed with a thud as he pressed the heels of his hand over his eyelids. He'd come so close to sleeping with him, he'd actually started to want it – the tenderness Damon was showing as he kissed him, the way he was stroking his skin. It had been insanely erotic. This had to be the end of it. Tonight was the last night he would feed on Damon again. It was over. He needed his brother not a quick fuck and a meal. That's all it could ever be if they did it – a moment of weakness and depravity that they would torture each other for forever, all because neither of them could handle their own feelings or problems. Damon wanted to pour himself inside of Stefan to relieve the humiliation and heartache Katherine and Elena had caused him. Stefan could have been anyone tonight, any warm body to act as a receptacle for Damon's avoidance. Could the same be said about Stefan's use of Damon's blood? Was Damon just his receptacle? No. No Damon was more than that to him. Blood sharing was personal and Stefan would never do it with anyone he didn't trust implicitly. No, for him it would only ever be Damon that he could do this with. Did that make his use of him any more excusable? Perhaps not.

The next day Stefan spent as much time away from him as possible. He needed some head space and Damon seemed to be playing the part of the arrogant sycophant beautifully as usual. Katherine had made it clear that she didn't want Stefan and Elena to be together anymore and they knew she was volatile right now, so they had decided to play it on the downlow. They'd managed to convince everyone, even Damon, that they had had a fight and had broken up because of Katherine's threats. Strange that Damon had believed it. They had to spend most of the day helping out one of Mystic Falls many charity fundraisers, but they knew Mason Lockwood would be there so they decided it could be a tactical advantage to make sure they could watch him closely under the guise of teenage labour.

Caroline seemed to be adjusting to life as a vampire. She and Stefan had become firm friends as he had tried to train her in self control. Perhaps it was because of her that he managed to finally rein himself in a lot more. He had to be an example for her and so he hunted and fed with her. He couldn't lie to himself, he still wanted human blood. He still wanted Damon's blood specifically. That surprised him. Perhaps the part of Damon's blood that was just his had also become a delicacy to Stefan's palate. He'd had so much of it lately and he still associated it with food. He doubled his efforts to detox and with Caroline's presence being so frequent he managed a few days with only animal blood. It felt like such a relief not to be lying to Elena anymore. He felt relaxed. Damon had been impressed at his restraint, but Stefan caught a sense of small disappointment at the discontinuation of their closeness in that regard. Yes they had gotten carried away and had almost become too physical, but it had brought them closer in other ways too. They had shared something that only they could understand and now it was over. Stefan hoped that whatever connections they had began to build could be transferred to a healthier outlet in their relationship.

He arrived at the fundraiser just in time to catch an aggravated Mason Lockwood make eye contact with Damon as Damon talked to the Sheriff animatedly and jovially. Stefan approached him and tried to make peace. Mason was not convinced by the idea and Stefan could see how much he wanted to hurt Damon. A fierce sense of undeserved protectiveness filtered through Stefan and he breathed out and calmed his instincts to be aggressive. Damon may be a self serving lunatic but he was _his_ self serving lunatic. His brother – his problem.

"There's one of you. There's two of us. I think you're the one who needs to watch your back." Stefan said calmly, raising his eyebrows and Mason clenched his jaw.

"If he comes at me…"

"He won't." Stefan assured and offered him his hand. Mason shook it and nodded, turning away to unload his truck. Stefan watched him walking away as he calmed down.

"Whatcha doing?" Damon appeared and spoke from right behind his ear and he jumped a little.

"Negotiating peace." Stefan sighed.

"But I don't want peace!" Damon pouted like a child.

"Tough, because I think that as soon as your back is turned he's going to try and put a stake through your heart and then mine. All because you took it upon yourself to pick a fight with him."

Damon came around to face him smiling proudly and put his hands on Stefan's shoulders squeezing him affectionately. Stefan felt so aware of his touch and cleared his throat, trying to remember what he was saying as Damon grinned smugly. "So thanks for that brother, because we didn't have enough problems." Stefan grasped the back of Damon's neck and gave him a playful squeeze and Damon released him. Stefan smiled back at him smugly and walked over towards Elena. Damon was playing a game. He knew Stefan had wanted him the other night and now he was reminding him subtly with little touches here and there…or…was he just imagining it? Was he paranoid? He shook himself out of it and got involved with the woodwork under way. He had to make deliberate mistakes and act like an unskilled high school teenage when it came to this, even though he'd spent a few years as a carpenter and furniture maker for a while back in the 50s. Sometimes he found it hard to gauge just what a typical teenager was actually capable of. He imagined a typical teenager from this community wouldn't have many manual skills so he'd have to act accordingly. He stood alongside Matt, matching his workmanship and silently communicating with Elena through their secret code.

He relaxed and began to enjoy himself as he worked away cutting and sawing until he needed some water. He moved up to the decking area where Damon was charming a little girl into giving him some lemonade with his characteristic smile and glowing blue eyes. Even little girls weren't impervious to Damon's good looks and appeal. Damon choked suddenly, spitting the lemonade out and coughing violently and Stefan went to his aid in concern.

"Vervain!" He rasped, coughing and sitting for a second to regain himself and Stefan looked around wildly to make sure no one had noticed anything unusual. This had clearly been a set up.

"He's dangerous Stefan. I'm going to rip him apart!" Damon growled and Stefan had to fight with him to get him to stay seated and not overreact. He caught Damon's hands as he swatted at him to move out of the way and pushed against his chest to keep him seated.

"You're right ok?" Damon looked at him in surprise. "He could expose us, he has to be taken down."

"Ok then." Damon said and stood up calmly. "The woods." Damon pointed with his chin and they followed the path out into the woods, trying to catch Mason's scent when Stefan cried out in pain and clutched his chest. Damon reached for him in surprise and then felt a burning hot pain go straight through him, making him cry out and fall to his knees before landing on his face. He looked over to Stefan's body now unconscious on the ground too and saw feet coming towards him. He raised his head to try and speak when he felt a needle pierce his skin. He choked, trying to fight the vervain but he couldn't. He gave in and closed his eyes.

He awoke with to a sharp burning pain in his leg. He screamed and tried to move but he was still weak. He opened his eyes gasping in pain to see the Sheriff pointing a gun at him. He squinted in disbelief.

"How many more of there are you?" She asked coldly, professionally and without emotion and he blinked at her pleadingly. "How do you walk in the sun?"

"Please…" He pleaded and she stood on his injured leg and applied pressure making him shout in pain and writhe.

"Tell me and I'll kill you quickly." She commanded and removed her foot as he gasped for breath and groaned.

"But, you're my friend." He said weakly and she huffed.

"We were never friends, it was all a lie." She aimed the gun at Stefan and fired, but Stefan didn't even flinch. Damon rolled his head to the side and looked to him. Stefan was completely out. He frowned and drew in a few ragged breaths before he was shot again in the other leg. He screamed loudly and closed his eyes. They were helpless, vervained to the max and about to be killed by someone he considered to be one of his only friends.

"He's not going to tell us anything. Kill them both."

He drew in a breath as he reconciled himself to death when he heard Elena's voice.

There was chaos in the cave all of a sudden and he couldn't react quick enough to figure out what was happening. He rolled onto his side and reached out for Stefan, trying to shelter him from any further harm as screams filled the room. He lay his head down next to Stefan's and closed his eyes.

"Hi mom."

"Oh my god!"

Silence and heavy, fearful breathing filled the cave. Then Elena was at his side, checking on them both tenderly. She stroked Stefan's face as Damon panted and tried to pull the wooden bullets out of his legs.

"Stefan?" Elena whispered and Damon opened his eyes and tried to sit up. She looked to him worriedly. Damon leaned over and cupped Stefan's face, calling to him. Stefan barely moved.

"Is he ok?" She asked worriedly.

"He needs blood." Damon said and she gulped and looked to her wrist. He shook his head. "An animal."

"Care, we need an animal." She looked up to where Caroline and her mother stood staring at each other. Caroline looked over, remembering why she had thrown away everything she had, her mother, her life, her home…for her friend Stefan. She nodded disorientated and looked at her mother again and Elena realised just how awful this situation was now. She couldn't ask Caroline to go and hunt an animal right now. Her mom could escape and god knows what she might do in this frame of mind.

"Damon..." Elena looked to Damon again, remembering how his blood had helped relieve Stefan's thirst before, but she could see he was ill and wounded himself.

"What?" He squinted at her, unsure of her request. "_Now_ you want me to feed him?" He asked incredulously.

"Please, help him." She begged and he gave a cold laugh.

"You've no idea what you're asking." He scowled and she looked to Stefan again. He looked at Stefan's face and felt his resistance fade. He cupped Stefan's cheek and checked his pallor. He was hurt too and he didn't have much to give. He got to his knees and crawled towards the body of one of the dead deputies. Caroline and her mother were still locked in a stance of pain and disbelief as he climbed on top of one of the bodies and bit down with the last of his strength. As he drank he could hear Liz's revulsion at the sight of such obvious vampirism. He drank blissfully, closing his eyes and drinking every drop left in the body he was holding. He became vaguely aware of weeping and Caroline's voice cooing, but he couldn't focus on the words. He drank until the body was empty and pulled away, hopefully having drank so much would thin out any vervain still fighting to stay within his system otherwise it would make Stefan sicker.

You would think drinking so much revitalising blood would make you dart up and become alert and strong but Damon felt the opposite. The small amount of vervain left in him was still making him feel inebriated and drowsy and the blood helped a little but he felt tired. He hung his head to breathe as Elena called to him.

"I know how much I didn't want you to feed him before, but please Damon…if it'll help him. He's so cold, so…"

"Dead?" Damon looked up finishing her sentence and she looked at him pained.

"That's because he is Elena. Are you finally getting that now? He's not like you. He's like me." Damon added and she frowned, her eyes filling up as she pondered on the reality of it. Despite how much she had hurt him lately he felt his heart squeeze at her distress and he sighed. He couldn't deny her, even now. He crawled over to Stefan and she stepped aside to let him pull Stefan into his arms. He cupped Stefan's face for a moment, knowing just how much this would affect them both again. Stefan had finally pulled himself together and they were acting normally again.

"Whatever happens is on you if I do this." He said and she frowned confused. "He wouldn't want this from me. Not now that he's back on animal blood."

"Mom please it's me!" Caroline's voice wailed and caught their attention for a second as the Sheriff wept and pressed herself into the wall away from her. They didn't have time to waste, they had to clean everything up and get out of here. They were still in danger. He and Elena exchanged glances and Damon sighed and bit into his wrist, placing it over Stefan's mouth as his whole body tensed in expectation of desire. Stefan began to suck and he bit his lip and closed his eyes. He allowed Stefan to suck for as short a time as possible before he pulled his wrist away. Stefan didn't open his eyes, even when Elena called to him. He regained his composure and cupped Stefan's face in concern.

"Stefan." He whispered and stroked Stefan's cheekbone with his thumb, pulling him closer into his lap. Stefan stirred and opened his eyes, looking up at him confused and dazed and Damon smiled and stroked his cheek tenderly. Stefan's veins protruded and he whimpered, unaware of Elena at all as he gazed up at Damon and reached up to hold him. He drew Damon's face nearer to his and Damon halted at a safe distance from his mouth. Stefan was fighting desire and wanted to kiss him, to feed from his neck.

"Just breathe. I'm right here." Damon cooed and Stefan struggled in pain and weakness. "Control it brother." Damon looked into his eyes as he spoke and slowly Stefan's eyes changed back. Elena watched their exchange in awe and wonder. She'd never seen this tenderness between them before. It made her stomach churn in discomfort. She wasn't part of this, could never be.

"Stefan." She called, beginning to feel like a third wheel as they continued to hold each other and he seemed to register that he and Damon weren't the only ones in the room as he turned his head and looked at her in surprise.

"Elena." He whispered and Damon lay him gently on the ground again and tried to move back. Stefan turned back to him as he retreated and grabbed his arm pleadingly.

"Damon…"

"You need to feed brother properly." Damon said a little strained. "Maybe you should drink some deputy blood."

"I can't."

"Stefan he's right. If there was ever a time to break your diet…" Caroline interceded and Elena huffed irritated.

"He said he didn't want it." She stated and everyone fell silent. Damon stood up unsteadily, allowing Elena to enfold Stefan in her arms and let him sit up. Damon needed some space. He looked over at Liz and exhaled.

"This is a most unfortunate situation. And you. What am I going to do with you?" Damon directed at her exasperated as Caroline tensed in fear at his focus.

"You won't tell anyone will you?" Caroline tried to calm herself. She knew how ruthless Damon could be and that he wouldn't think twice about killing her mom. Liz looked at her and looked away and her heart filled with fear. "Mom? Mom, please…he will kill you." She begged.

"Then kill me." Liz looked up at Damon directly and he raised his eyebrows.

"What? No!" Caroline panicked.

"I can't take this!" Liz began to weep again and Damon leaned in closer to her menacingly as he stared into her eyes. He could feel her integrity, her strength and convictions – she meant it. It was those qualities in her that he most admired. He grabbed her and pulled her to her feet as everyone shouted in fear.

"Damon don't!" Stefan shouted and Damon turned around at the sound of Stefan's voice and blinked.

"Damon please!" Elena added and Damon exhaled.

"Relax guys! No one is killing anyone." He turned back to look at Liz as she seemed to calm a little. She stared him straight in the eye unwavering and he rubbed her arms almost in affection. "You're my friend." He said quietly. Everyone stared in disbelief. Damon was showing mercy, kindness… They were all gobsmacked. Stefan let out a small almost imperceptible groan of pain and Damon turned around to face him again. Stefan needed to get out of here and heal.

"We gotta clean this up." Damon breathed and Elena stood, helping Stefan to his feet as he held his chest.

Despite his own wounds and lack of strength, Damon buried the two deputies bodies as Caroline, Liz, Elena and Stefan returned to the boarding house. How did he end up becoming the clean up guy? Time was when he littered bodies around and didn't care. His continuing and increasing care for this town and the people in it was starting to concern him. Why did he care? They'd given him nothing. Then he realised. This was all for Stefan, to make Stefan safer and undetected. Stefan wanted to fit in here and by proxy Damon had ended up wanting to stay here too. As usual, everything in his life boiled down to his brother's needs. He shook his head as he threw the spade he had used into the back of the Camaro and jumped in to go home.

When he arrived there, there was a thick tension. Stefan was feeding in the kitchen from some deer he had put into bottles this morning as Elena tried to comfort Caroline. He walked in and looked at them all.

"Damon…" He already knew what Elena was going to say.

"I've got it." He said and walked down to the basement to find Liz sitting waiting. He passed her his cell and she looked at him in confusion. "Call work and tell them you won't be there for a few days."

She took the phone from him, her hands shaking a little and dialled her department, faking a story about a stomach bug. Once she'd hung up he took the phone back from her and she looked to the ground.

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to let the vervain leave your system and then compel you. Sooner than you know you'll be back to rainbows and unicorns and a human daughter." He said and she tightened her jaw.

"Keep Caroline away from me please. I don't want to see her."

"She's your daughter Liz."

"Not anymore."

"You have no idea how wrong you are about that." He said sadly and she looked up at him. He gave her a tight smile and left the room, bolting the door. He could hear Caroline retreat. She had heard everything. He felt oddly bad for her. What was happening to him these days? Why did these people matter? He walked up a staircase but stopped when he heard an argument from above him.

"He can hear us because he drinks this!" Stefan was saying animated and annoyed. Damon felt his blood chill a little. Stefan couldn't be thinking about drinking human blood again could he? He couldn't handle it, he'd proven that time and again. He heard them argue for a while and then Stefan marched up to his room. Stefan could be such a child at times. He climbed the rest of the stairs and found an upset Elena putting her coat on as she lay a blanket over a sleeping Caroline on the couch. How had his house turned into a youth hostel all of a sudden?

"Hey." He said quietly and she looked to him. "I won't let him drink the people blood, even though it'd make him stronger."

"He can't handle it. Deep down you know that." She said and he nodded.

"I'll keep an eye on him."

"You were right. I can't understand all of his needs. He needs you." She said and he didn't know what to say. "I think I make him sad all of the time. He isn't like that with you."

"We are the same." Damon offered, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Look after him." She said. There was finality to her tone that made him feel alarmed and he moved forward a step to go to her but she shook her head and retreated from him, exiting the doorway and closing the door behind her as he watched with his mouth hanging open.

Caroline was fast asleep as he checked on her and sat down at the end of the sofa to think. Had Elena just broken up with Stefan? He heard Stefan moving around upstairs, slamming and pacing. It certainly sounded as though things weren't good. He got up and ascended the stairs to check on him. One thing he did not need was an angry out of control Stefan now, not when they had Liz here and Mason to deal with. He knocked on Stefan's door for a change – something he never did and Stefan pulled the door open abruptly. Damon opened his mouth to speak when Stefan grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him inside roughly. He fell inwards in shock and Stefan backed him up against the door as it closed and kissed him roughly. He didn't know what to do in response. Stefan pushed his tongue inside of his mouth and he went with it and succumbed. Stefan wasn't gentle and he could tell that this kiss was out of desperation and anger.

Stefan began to remove their clothes hurriedly as Damon pulled away from his mouth.

"Stefan stop, what are you doing?" He panted out of breath, but Stefan didn't answer, just pulled Damon's shirt off and reached for his jeans. Damon grabbed his hands firmly and halted him and Stefan scowled at him.

"You don't want to sleep with me, that's what you said." Damon reminded and Stefan growled.

"I don't care. I want you now."

"This isn't about me." Damon mirrored Stefan's earlier warning and Stefan huffed.

"You want me don't you? You want to be inside of me? Well here's your chance." Stefan snapped and fought against Damon's hands to undo his jeans. Damon released his hold in shock at Stefan's demand and offer and he gasped as Stefan pulled his jeans down forcefully. He felt on edge and nervous, he'd never seen Stefan like this – so primal. Stefan reached down and stroked his manhood but he was soft.

"You don't really want this Stefan, you're just angry."

"Like you were the other day? Angry and hurt – that about summarises it."

"Yeah and you stopped me."

"I didn't get it." Stefan shook his head and continued to try and make Damon erect.

"Hmm." Damon moaned a little as Stefan finally got his body responding. He bit his lip and leaned his head back against the door as Stefan smirked in triumph.

"You're the only one who gets it Damon. It's you and me. I can't have the understanding I need from a human." Stefan explained and Damon looked at him as his cheeks began to glow. "I can't do what my body needs with her. Like this." Stefan whispered and leaned into his neck and bit down. Damon shivered and moaned, flexing his hips into Stefan's hand. Stefan only drank a little before pulling back and looking at him.

"I can't share my body with her like I can with you. Show me what it's really like. I want all of it for a change." Stefan whispered and Damon panted. Stefan released his manhood and stood back, unbuttoning the remains of his clothing and moving to his bed waiting as Damon remained flat against the door in disbelief. Stefan lay down on the bed and looked at completely calm and relaxed suddenly. The anger seemed to be gone. Damon kicked off his jeans from around his ankles and removed his shirt too and walked towards him slowly, trying to assess the situation.

"No talking about it afterwards? No Elena?" Damon asked apprehensively and Stefan nodded.

"I want kissing though." Stefan said and Damon exhaled and climbed into the bed with him. This was _really_ it. Now they were both sure. Stefan reached up and pulled Damon down kissing him until Damon relented and enfolded him in his arms, moving between Stefan's legs. He could feel how ready Stefan was and he allowed himself to get carried away with the desire. He drank from Stefan for a few minutes to help prepare his body. Stefan panted and moaned and it was amazing to not have him fight or try to resist anymore. Damon caressed his behind and circled his finger around his entrance. This time Stefan didn't panic. Damon sat up to check his expression and saw only lust there.

"It won't hurt." He reassured and Stefan nodded. He kneeled down and began to lubricate Stefan with his tongue as Stefan cried out in surprise at how good the sensation was. He made quick work of the entrance, ensuring it wouldn't be a problem and inserted his fingers one at a time. Stefan had pulled the sheets away from the sides of the mattress as he squirmed and panted and Damon smiled at him as he pushed his fingers in as far as they could go and twisted them.

"Uhhh.." Stefan moaned and flushed.

"I'm going to do this a little while longer Stefan. I'm much bigger than this ok? It won't hurt if you relax." Damon advised and Stefan closed his eyes.

"Just put it in. I'm alright."

"It'll hurt."

"I don't mind. Just please…" Stefan panted as Damon continued to move his fingers in and out. Stefan was impatient and Damon chuckled a bit. He wasn't sure how sore it would be, so he licked the inside of Stefan's thigh and took a bite at his artery. Stefan cried out and shook as Damon pulled out a few mouthfuls and then used his tongue to coat his entrance again, pushing his tongue inside and removing his fingers.

He sat up and gently pushed the head of his manhood inside. Stefan clenched and held his breath so Damon remained there until he relaxed again.

"A little bit at a time." Damon whispered and Stefan nodded. He moved in a little more, gently as Stefan tried not to clench. It was still difficult though. Damon needed to distract him.

"Stefan once I'm inside I'm going to make you cum like you've never before. I'm going to feed on you until you lose your mind."

"Uhhh.." Stefan moaned in need and Damon pushed in a little more.

"You're going to let go completely and feed as much as you want. You can bite me anywhere. You can have me any way you want."

"Damon…" Stefan hissed in desire through his teeth as his veins came to the surface.

"You can do anything you want, you can't hurt me." Damon whispered seductively as he closed his eyes, feeling Stefan's body relax enough for him to slide in deeper. He was almost there! He opened Stefan's legs wide and leaned in towards his face as he slid in the last part of his erection and Stefan's mouth fell open.

"What do you want me to do now?" Damon whispered into his ear.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Stefan stared up at him, unable to talk as he hung his mouth open. It felt so strange to have something so deep inside of him _there. _It felt oddly comforting. Damon kissed around his jaw softly and pulled up to look at his face as he circled his hips. Stefan gave a small gasp at the movement.

"You ok?" Damon whispered and he nodded. Damon chuckled and pulled out half way.

"No…wait..." Stefan frowned thinking he was going to pull out but Damon stilled and pushed back in again and Stefan closed his eyes in wonder that it didn't hurt.

"We can do whatever you want."

"Uhhh." Stefan moaned.

"I can go fast or slow, hard and deep…" Damon breathed as he began a slow rhythm. Stefan couldn't move or speak as he reeled from the sensation. "I can be gentle like this or I can throw you around and bite you." Damon became a little breathless as he excited himself and began to move faster. Stefan brought his arms up and held him around his back for support.

"Damon…" Stefan drooled as he flexed up into him and opened his legs wider.

"What do you want?" Damon dropped his head into Stefan's neck panting as he thrusted.

"Everything…everything…show me…uuuhhh!" Stefan moaned loudly as Damon bit down and began to drink. Damon pulled up abruptly and placed his hand over Stefan's mouth. Stefan frowned in confusion.

"Caroline is downstairs. You're going to have to be quiet." He advised and Stefan looked at him in horror. How was he supposed to do that with Damon touching him like this? "Think of it as a challenge. If you get too loud I'll stop." Damon winked and Stefan began to pant in frustration and need.

"Please…" He begged and Damon licked up the side of his throat making his eyes roll back. He gripped Damon tighter around him and Damon began his thrusting again a little quicker as Stefan tried not to bite too hard through his lip. It was so difficult to stay quiet but Damon was right, it did feel a little more exciting knowing that Caroline was downstairs. He panted and moaned as little as he could as Damon drank little mouthfuls here and there and kissed his throat.

"Uhhh." He gasped as he felt an intense shooting sensation up his back. He felt drugged from the aftershock and Damon lifted his head and supported himself on his hands to watch Stefan's face as he angled his hips and made the sensation go up his back again. Stefan opened his mouth to moan and Damon placed his hand over his mouth tight to quieten him. The feeling of Damon inside of him and holding his mouth closed felt so commanding and oddly filled him with even more excitement. Damon had control of his body. Damon smiled evilly at him and increased the pressure of his hand over his mouth as he began to thrust deeper and quicker into him at this angle. Stefan arched his back as he was hit by shock after shock. It felt unbelievable and he so badly wanted to moan and call Damon's name but he couldn't. His face flushed and he had no choice but to yield. He brought his hands up and held Damon's outstretched arm, not to try and remove his hand but to hold onto him for support as he felt himself get carried away with the rhythm. He breathed through his nose noisily and closed his eyes until he heard Damon give out a small moan. He opened his eyes and saw Damon beginning to lose his calm too.

"Fuck." Damon whispered and panted as he sped up again, hammering his manhood in and out now that Stefan's body was so relaxed and yielding. His breathing got louder and he closed his eyes. He didn't have long to go. Stefan began to raise his hips and meet every thrust as sensation took over his mind and he dropped his hands from Damon's arm to hold Damon's behind and pull him in as deep as he could. Why had he never had sex like this before? It was so consuming and intense!

"Huuh…" Damon gasped and bit his lip hard as he went rigid and began to spill inside of him. He removed his hand from Stefan's face as he supported himself, still moving to try and satisfy Stefan too as he panted heavily and noisily from the pleasure. Stefan wanted that too, he wanted to release. It was normally him on top and in control and he felt vulnerable underneath. He had the urge to roll Damon beneath him and take what he needed but Damon held him down firm with his hand on his chest as he tried to move.

"No you don't." Damon panted and Stefan was about to argue when Damon began his thrust again. How was he still hard? He took Stefan's manhood in hand, which was a little erect and swollen and began to pump him firmly while he plunged in deep and sent the shocks to Stefan's back again. Stefan's eyes sprang open wide at the enormity of the stimulation and Damon grinned in triumph.

"Fuck..." Stefan mewled. He couldn't escape the sensation. Damon had him pinned down and in pleasure from inside and out. It felt like he was going to have an out of body experience at this rate. Damon timed the thrusts with his hand movements and leaned over his face to look into his eyes. Stefan gazed up at him.

"Cherry on the cake?" Damon panted in question and exertion and Stefan's eyes widened. What else could there possibly be to add to this all? He nodded quickly and Damon kissed him, pushing his tongue inside. God it was all too much, he couldn't take much more or he would explode! He whined into Damon's mouth, on the verge of climax when Damon pulled away and dove into his neck and bit down too.

Stefan let out a huge gasp and lifted the two of them off of the bed as he arched and spilled his seed everywhere. The climax didn't end though, not with Damon's teeth in his neck and he whimpered and tried to fight it. Damon pulled up.

"Give into it Stefan."

Damon ceased his movements and stilled against him as Stefan tried to breathe it out and not scream in rapture, but he couldn't hold it, he had to do something. The veins in his eyes protruded and he threw Damon backwards, separating their bodies suddenly. Damon fell back and landed on his back groaning as he hit his head and Stefan jumped on top of him and bit into his chest. He drank and clawed at him like an animal as his body pulsed and throbbed inside from the orgasm and penetration. He poured every ounce of himself into the feeding and gave his whole body over to it completely like never before.

He drank until Damon moaned underneath him completely spent. He pulled up and licked the claw marks that had began to fade on Damon's torso. Damon's eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily.

"That was fucking unbelievable." He growled and licked over Damon's skin to clear the blood traces and Damon smiled and nodded, his eyes still closed in tiredness. "I want more. Do it again."

"Control it brother." Damon opened his eyes and stroked up Stefan's arms as he fought with the desire to spread Damon open and take him. His veins were on fire and he panted, growling in the back of his throat.

"More."

"Breathe." Damon said a little more forcefully and Stefan whined, gripping Damon's torso.

"Please fuck me again Damon."

"I will but not now. We have guests brother."

"I don't care."

"Stefan." Damon growled angrily now and sat up. "Calm down or I won't touch you anymore." He threatened and Stefan gulped seeing how fiercely Damon meant it. He deflated a little and slumped his shoulders. He couldn't bear the thought that Damon wouldn't let him have this again.

"Breathe." Damon instructed a little more gently and he nodded, taking some deep breaths until his face returned to normal again. Once he seemed calmer Damon flopped back down onto his back again and sighed. Stefan lay on top of him and hugged him to him, laying his face into Damon's neck.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For showing me."

"That was nothing Stefan. That was the quickest fuck I've ever had." Damon chuckled and Stefan looked up at him in surprise. "There's so much more." Damon's eyes gleamed and Stefan smiled in amazement.

"Can I…"

"Later. Sleep. We've got a load of crap to clean up tomorrow and a werewolf to kill." Damon advised and Stefan nodded. Sense was beginning to return to his brain. Damon lay for a few minutes before he intimated he wanted to go back to his own room. Stefan sat up begrudgingly and tried not to feel unhappy. Damon gathered his clothes and began to dress again as Stefan watched from the bed.

"You could sleep here." Stefan offered, trying not to evoke any neediness. Damon arched his eyebrows in surprise and chuckled.

"I've got nothing left in me to give tonight."

"Just sleep." Stefan added and Damon eyed him a little taken aback.

"I'm just down the hall brother." Damon said and Stefan bit his lip. Damon didn't want to sleep here. He didn't understand why Stefan wanted him to. Truth was that Stefan didn't know why either, he had just enjoyed the closeness. He always loved waking up next to Elena after sex. It was peaceful and loving, but then…this was his brother and this hadn't been about love. They had fucked. That's what this had been about, desperate fucking and feeding in the aftermath of arguing with Elena. So why did Stefan feel urgent about Damon leaving?

"You should get back on deer again tomorrow." Damon advised as he picked up his shoes. Stefan blinked at him, as he did his usual whirlwind of changing topic again like a wave.

"Ok." Stefan said feeling odd and a little disappointed. "What about you?" Damon paused in response. "Can't I still drink from you?"

"No." Damon said frowning. "Not unless you want to do this again. I can't do the feeding schedule anymore."

"So…during sex?" Stefan asked confused and Damon sighed.

"If you want."

Stefan eyed him. What exactly was Damon offering here and why did it hurt a little? Stefan was only allowed to drink from him if they had sex. Why did that seem a little like payment for prostituting himself? He frowned and swallowed bile.

"What?" Damon frowned too.

"Nothing. You're right. I need to get back on track." Stefan gave him a tight smile and Damon clicked his tongue as he appraised him.

"Ok." He gave him a quick nod with his chin and unlocked the door, stepping out and closing it behind him. Stefan shivered as he felt all of the air leave the room suddenly. They'd messed up here. He'd gone and done it for real. He'd given himself over to lust and sex completely and it was with his brother. He held his chest as he tried to breathe. He should feel revolted and embarrassed but he felt terrified instead. Terrified of what this was going to change, because he'd enjoyed it so much. Even though it had been with Damon, he'd lost his mind, lost control and revelled in it completely. He'd never experienced anything like it before. It had to change things from now on. He fell asleep, worried and elated at the same time.

The next day he felt weird again. Damon was normal and cool as a cucumber and it rattled him that he could do that. He should be relieved or happy that Damon wasn't being weird around him but yet he couldn't help but feel a little hurt. It was as though it hadn't happened, as though he'd dreamt it and he might have believed that had it not been for the blood left on his sheets from their feeding and carnal activities. He'd had to open all of his windows to rid the room of the smell of sex and blood and of Damon.

Elena had called around early to talk things over. She'd barely slept after their fight and was remorseful for her lack of empathy. He felt like a coward for not admitting that he'd spent the night in rapture, rolling around with Damon between his legs. He did his best to hide his guilt and pretend like nothing was wrong. Damon was acting as though that was the case, so so should he.

He threw himself back into what was happening around them, into trying to find the moonstone as Damon hitched his plans to get information out of Mason. Little did he know just how much Damon was glad for the distraction. Torturing Katherine's new beau to death would always have been fun but was particularly welcomed as an outlet for the anger and jealousy he had felt when Elena and Stefan had began to play happy couples again.

He threw Mason's heart down on top of his body and loomed above him breathing. It felt good to kill something. Killing and fucking – that's what he was good at and right now all he wanted to do was throw Stefan against a wall and have him, but he couldn't. He should kill things instead for a while. Killing Katherine would be sweet. It would make him feel heaps better and take his mind off everything. He began to roll the body up in one of their many Persian rugs when Stefan walked in and sighed.

"Did you have to kill him?" Stefan mumbled disapprovingly.

"Yes." He said tightly and looked up to him, motioning for him to help. "Did you get it?"

"Yup." Stefan held up the moonstone for him to see and leaned down to help him wrap the body. They lifted the body at both ends and backed out of the room to dump it in the car. "Caroline gone?"

"Yup. Liz is all compelled and free again. You and Elena are all lovey dovey too so I guess all is right with the world." Damon commented as they threw the body in the boot with a swing. He straightened up, brushing off his hands and Stefan frowned.

"What's up with you?"

"Nothing." He smiled sweetly at him and Stefan folded his arms and opened his mouth to respond when Damon walked back into the house. He followed him in, trying to figure out what Damon was feeling. Was he jealous? Was he angry? He desperately wanted to know because he wasn't unaffected by the pretence. As he went to speak to him again, a cell phone wrang.

"Hmmm, last number dialled. I wonder who that could be." Damon grinned and Stefan felt panic grip him.

"Damon don't mess with her..!" Stefan tried to grab the phone from his hands and Damon moved out of the way laughing in glee and mischief. The one sided part of the conversation with Katherine that Stefan was witness to, quickly led to silence and fear as Damon put the phone back down onto the side table solemnly.

"What did she say?" Stefan pressed and Damon gulped and tensed. His expression told enough and Stefan grabbed him by his shoulders urgently.

"What did you do?!" Stefan panicked and Damon flushed and couldn't look him in the eye.

"She could hurt someone Damon! We have no idea what she's got up her sleeve!"

"I'll find her." Damon said guiltily. Stefan shook his head and pushed him back as he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. Damon watched him silently as he dialled. Stefan turned his back and walked away as he began warning Elena. Damon sat down as he listened. Shit, what had he done? He should have known Katherine would have more cards to play, she was an evil bitch troll but she was smart and he should never underestimate her.

"Elena?! Elena what's happening?!" Stefan suddenly shouted and Damon stood to attention as Stefan turned back to him worriedly, still holding the phone to his ear. Damon held his breath as he heard screaming from the phone. Stefan shot him a look of fear and turned and ran, Damon hot on his heels as he ran outside to his car. Damon moved to climb in with him when Stefan shook his head fiercely.

"You've done enough!" He snapped and Damon stood in shock as Stefan drove away at lightning speed.

Stefan didn't come home for hours. He paced and fretted, trying to come up with a plan. Katherine could be anywhere. Where did he start looking? He needed to lure her out. She now knew they had the moonstone and she obviously wanted it, so he had to use that, count on the fact that she'd no doubt be in contact to gloat about whatever she'd done to Elena and bargain for the stone. Stefan was still seething when he returned and had spoken to him long enough only to tell him that Jenna had stabbed herself and was in the hospital. Mercifully it looked like she was going to survive. He'd tried to talk to him, to apologise for his part in it but Stefan didn't want to hear.

He had to fix this somehow.

He went into the lounge to find Stefan by the fireplace, his back turned.

"Stefan." He said softly and Stefan turned to face him. He was in pain, not angry like earlier. Damon felt his heart squeeze and took a step towards him in surprise.

"Don't."

"I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry." He said and Stefan shook his head.

"You never think." Was Stefan going to cry? Really? Wasn't that a little over the top?

"Jenna's going to live Stefan. Elena knows this wasn't your fault." He tried to commiserate.

"It doesn't matter."

"What?"

"It's over." Stefan closed his eyes and let tears fall down his cheeks. "Between Elena and I." Damon was speechless. "Katherine's smart, she knows how to get to people. She'll kill everyone that Elena's loves and I can't protect her."

"We'll get her Stefan. I'll find her." Damon clenched his teeth as he spoke. Stefan closed his eyes and turned away from him again. Damon covered the distance between them and squeezed his shoulders. "I promise you. I'll tear that bitch's heart out."

"And then what?" Stefan whispered. Damon turned him around to face him concerned. "Elena and I get back together again and you and I keep pretending we didn't cross the line?" Damon released his shoulders and took a step back, blind-sighted by the topic change. "Are you really not going to talk about it?"

"I…" Damon stumbled. "You made the rules Stefan. No Elena, no talking about it…"

"Well I need to." Stefan said firmly and they stared at each other.

"Ok." Damon said strained and uncomfortable.

"Why?" Stefan whispered and Damon raised his eyebrows in question and gulped.

"Why what?"

"Why did you want to do it?"

"Shouldn't we be talking about how to find Katherine right now?" Damon tried to deflect.

"Was it to mess with me? To control me? Or was it so that I'd feel so guilty I wouldn't be able to stay with Elena and then you could swoop in and take her from me?" Stefan words hit him in the chest like the sharp crack of a whip and he blanched a little, hurt.

"Yeah, because everything revolves around you Stefan." He drolled coldly and began to shake in anger. He stepped into Stefan's space and growled at him. "I don't remember you having any objection to what we did while you were clawing at me and eating me. I should've known you couldn't handle this."

"And what is this?" Stefan hissed back at him.

"Sex, Stefan. It's what we normally people do to have fun, to blow off some steam. Not everyone likes to weep and write in journals. I live my life as I see fit and if you don't like it then stay the hell out of my way." Damon growled and stepped away from him before he punched him, reaching for some bourbon and pouring it straight into his mouth from the decanter rather than searching for a glass.

"That's all it is?" Stefan's voice was tight. He wasn't even sure why he was asking these questions. He badly needed to think about something other than Elena and the fact that it was over, really over. He needed a distraction. Damon chuckled and drank another swig of bourbon.

"No, I'm madly in love with you. I can't eat or sleep…when I think about you I touch myself brother…" Damon was being cruel and sarcastic now. Stefan held himself stiff and Damon laughed at his blank expression and sat the decanter down, stalking towards him predatorily enjoying Stefan's speechlessness.

"You're the one Stefan, no one compares to you…" He smirked evilly and entered Stefan's personal space again as he flushed with controlled rage. "I thought I was in heaven when I was inside of you, the smell of your skin…god…" He leaned into Stefan's face animatedly "…you've ruined me for all women." He whispered seductively still in a mocking tone and pulled back pleased with himself as Stefan's face lit up like a Christmas tree in anger and humiliation. He smiled triumphantly as Stefan clenched and unclenched his fists heatedly.

"Cherry on the cake?" Damon whispered and Stefan glared at him. "I'm the best you've ever had."

Stefan's composure finally disintegrated and he threw him backwards onto the sofa behind them. Damon laughed in surprise and indignation, but not for long as Stefan dove on top of him and punched him repeatedly. They began to wrestle furiously and viciously, trapping each other in a hold before wrestling out of it again and swearing at each other. It felt good to fight, to let it all go. Stefan wanted to punch his lights out, just to shut his smug face up for once. He never had the strength normally but feeding so much on him last night and pure adrenaline was meaning he could pin Damon's arms down much more than he normally could. He leant his whole body weight onto him and pinned his arms by the sides of his head as Damon coughed, bleeding from his mouth and breathing. The effect of raising Damon's arms like this meant that his shirt rode up onto his stomach and bore the soft skin over his lower abdomen and hip as he struggled. Stefan's eyes moved to the trail of black hair hiding at his waistband and he felt his mouth go dry suddenly. Damon huffed and tried to roll him off, when Stefan growled and held him down with more force. Damon looked up into his eyes and Stefan shot him a glare of warning not to move.

He reached down with one hand and quickly ripped the front of Damon's jeans open abruptly and Damon gasped and tried to struggle in confusion so Stefan punched him hard across the jaw so that he fell back again. In the brief moment Damon was dazed he reached in and pulled Damon's manhood out and began to stroke it.

"What are you doing?!" Damon gasped halfway between arousal and anger and Stefan just growled in response. As he stroked him faster Damon tilted into his hand and moaned, no longer fighting him. "Stefan…what…?" He panted and Stefan squeezed his manhood and released Damon's hand, moving his free hand to hold him by his throat instead.

"My turn brother."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Stefan squeezed his throat a little in warning for him not to fight back. He was insanely turned on and he had no idea why. Why would fighting with him, wanting to hurt him, turn him on? He should be frightened by this development. This was so unlike him. He liked making love, slowly and tenderly. He wasn't into '_fucking'_ as Damon so delicately put it at times and he certainly wasn't into holding someone down while he did, but this was Damon. Damon could fight back if he wanted to, he could trust that. Elena couldn't put up resistance against him if she didn't like something and he'd never want to take the chance that he'd hurt her. Damon was such a smug, irritating…yeah he wanted to throw him around and hurt him a little bit, safe in the knowledge he would heal and stop him if he went too far. It was yet another liberating moment as Damon's face turned red from the squeezing. Still, he didn't stop him, instead tilting up into his hand as Stefan continued to tease his erection. He looked frightened but turned on too. Stefan leant down to his ear menacingly.

"I'm the best _you've_ ever had!" He hissed and Damon made a small gasping sound. "Allow me to demonstrate." He released Damon's member and yanked his jeans down abruptly. Damon tried to sit up in shock so Stefan pushed him forcefully back down onto his back.

"Stefan stop!" Damon panted and watched with wary eyes as Stefan unzipped and freed himself. Damon looked down to his erection and inhaled sharply. Stefan pulled his legs forward to nestle between them and Damon growled suddenly and threw himself forward, knocking them both off of the sofa onto the floor. Stefan fell back, with Damon on top of him, stunned for a second as he hit his head on the floor. Now it was Damon who began to punch him and wrestle with his arms.

"Stop!" Stefan shouted, beginning to tire of the assault. His adrenaline was vanishing now. Damon was just too strong, he had much more endurance. Damon seemed to read his change in vigour and held him down by his shoulders as they both gasped for air like dying fish.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Damon shouted angrily, slamming him into the floor. Stefan's face creased in pain for a second as he tried to fight off the impending storm of emotion steadily heading towards him now that the fog of anger was fading. "What do you want?" Damon still shouted but a little less vehemently as he watched Stefan's expression.

"Nothing!" Stefan shouted back, but his face flushed as he felt his chest tighten. Elena and he were over. He wanted to hide from the pain he knew was going to rip him apart. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He wanted to die. He let out a small sob of anger, heartbreak and frustration and Damon calmed a little.

"Stefan…" Damon snarled exasperated and Stefan looked in his eyes.

"Make me forget for a while." He mumbled pleadingly and Damon gave out a huge sigh.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Damon shook his head and Stefan felt his anger renew. He had given Damon what _he_ needed last night.

"No?!" Stefan growled and Damon shook his head and frowned at Stefan's unexpected response. Stefan tried to move to grab him angrily and Damon pushed his body weight down and slammed him into the floor again. "You get to say _no_ after everything you did today?" Stefan barked and Damon's head swam in disbelief. Stefan growled again struggling against him and Damon was forced to slam his fist into his jaw to calm him. Stefan coughed and spat some blood from his mouth and Damon sat up, thinking. Stefan wanted it rough, he needed it. Fine. He could play it his way. He reached down and removed Stefan jeans as Stefan looked up at him in surprise. Damon snarled as he removed them and lifted his legs to pull them off completely.

"This is what you want? You want me to _fuck_ you?!"

"Yes!" Stefan said firmly with anger still evident in his voice. Damon dropped his legs back to the floor as Stefan's breathing picked up.

"Be careful what you wish for Stefan." Damon growled and turned him over onto his front forcefully, holding Stefan down at the back of his neck so he couldn't move. He used his knees to spread Stefan's legs apart and Stefan held still, trying to calm his heart as he waited for what was going to happen next. Damon leaned on top of him, squashing him into the floor as Stefan wheezed from the weight.

"Don't move." Damon's instructions were crystal clear and venomous. He meant business and Stefan tried to nod in affirmation as he closed his eyes. He was expecting pain. Damon was gentle when he had pushed into him gradually last night but he could tell Damon wasn't in the mood for playing nice just now – not after all of the fighting and pain they'd inflicted upon each other. Suddenly Damon was off of him and walking away towards the kitchen and Stefan looked up in surprise. He wasn't going to leave him here was he?

"Damon?" He called unsure and needy. Damon didn't answer. Stefan listened with his heart in his mouth as Damon fumbled around and smashed a few things. What was he doing? He heard Damon's commanding hard footsteps begin to approach again and he lay his head back down on the floor and closed his eyes, stealing himself. He felt so vulnerable, naked from the waist down and achingly hard. He shifted a little, trying to get some friction from the rug beneath him when Damon slammed him down and held him firmly in place. Stefan inhaled sharply and obeyed, stilling. He counted the seconds as Damon didn't touch him. What was he doing?

"This going to hurt." Damon's voice was cold and Stefan felt a shiver of fear. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. He was about to protest and change his mind when Damon parted his buttocks and slid his finger inside of him. Stefan jolted. Damon wasn't being gentle like before but at least he wasn't going to just enter him. That would be painful and make him bleed, he imagined. There was a strange sensation with Damon's fingers. It felt moist and slippery. Damon's fingers seemed to slide in and out with ease as he inserted a second finger roughly and scissored his fingers inside. The sensation was odd and made his stomach clench.

"Hmmm." Stefan groaned in discomfort and confusion. He couldn't figure out if he liked the sensation or not, it was just so alien to him. Damon removed his fingers and Stefan relaxed a little. Damon spread his legs wider and Stefan closed his eyes tight. He could feel Damon hard against his bottom and he shivered a little as he waited. Damon had spent a while preparing him before - this had been only a few seconds. Damon didn't take care or give him warning as he pushed himself inside fully. Stefan's eyes sprang open and he groaned in pain, struggling to breathe. It did hurt. It felt like he was being split open and he panted and tried not to cry out. Tears filled his eyes and he clenched automatically. Damon stilled and didn't move as he breathed. Stefan continued to whimper as his body struggled to adjust. Damon didn't speak. Stefan's entrance throbbed and he began to regret this decision. It would hurt even if Damon pulled out now though. He tightened impulsively around him, his body desperately wanting to squeeze Damon back out. He groaned again in distress and Damon finally moved, leaning over and biting into Stefan's shoulder. Stefan yelped in surprise and panted, fearful Damon was going to move but he didn't. Stefan let out a small sob and Damon drank a little faster trying to relax him. After a few seconds he started to feel the effects and began to relax as his stomach warmed and he felt arousal begin again.

Damon pulled his teeth out and licked around the wound. Stefan sighed feeling more into this idea again as he closed his eyes. Damon moved just a tiny amount, pulling out slightly and Stefan stiffened again in fear. Damon pushed back in slowly and stroked Stefan's back gently. As much as this had hurt, he knew he was safe. This was Damon. Damon might want to hurt him right now but he'd never go too far. If he said no, he knew Damon would stop. Damon slid back in again and although it hurt a little, Stefan had been prepared. He exhaled deeply and tried to relax as Damon began to move. His insides were so sensitive, he felt every push of Damon's flesh inside of him. His entrance felt like it was on fire and he tried to block it out. Damon picked up pace and began to thrust fully in and out now. It was starting to feel good gradually. It felt really different from last time, perhaps because of the pain or maybe because he was on his front. He felt a small tear at his entrance and he winced and groaned a little and to his amazement he felt Damon place his thumb over it and circle gently to calm him. It made him feel much more secure to know that Damon was aware of it and was trying to be gentle even when he was pounding into him heatedly.

Stefan fisted his hands in the rug beneath him as Damon began to moan and pant. He tried to imagine what it would feel like to be on top of Damon, to be this in control. He wanted that badly. Damon didn't like to relinquish control though. As he pondered on that Damon leaned his body forward, on top of him and slung his arm around Stefan's stomach, holding him upwards slightly. The instant he did Stefan felt that shock up his back again and it tingled all the way to his scalp. He gasped and leaned himself upwards further into Damon's movement, eagerly. Damon stroked across his stomach as he thrusted in again circling his hips as Stefan moaned in appreciation. This was more like it!

Damon held him firm squeezing his stomach and Stefan felt the desire to pee fill him. He didn't have to pee – he was a vampire, so what the hell? It wasn't unpleasant actually, it heightened everything else and he leaned back trusting that Damon knew what he was doing. Damon pulled him and he was propelled to raise onto his hands and knees. Damon held his hips and began to ram into him now and Stefan moaned and shook from every thrust. It was so erotic. He never thought he'd end up in this position! The thought would have horrified him normally but it felt so good.

Damon leaned into his back again and placed a sloppy kiss on his spine. Stefan smiled and gasped. Damon wasn't angry anymore. He flinched in shock as Damon took his manhood in hand and began to stroke him quickly with purpose. It had been so intense last time. This felt even more so because of Damon's weight around his back. He dipped his head down and watched Damon's hand as it tried to relieve his erection. It was so erotic to watch and feel at the same time. Damon's speed increased and Stefan lost his breath as Damon pounded into him now, making their bodies shake. His hold on Stefan's erection squeezed harder and became insistent too and Stefan felt himself losing his mind again.

"Uhhhh!" He cried out and Damon moaned in response. He wanted to melt back down onto the floor, his arms were shaking and Damon seemed to know it somehow. He gave him a gentle push on his back and Stefan slumped forward again, his head and arms on the ground while Damon held his pelvis in the position it had been in. This must look completely obscene. Damon climaxed loudly and let go of Stefan's manhood. Stefan grunted at the movement, feeling unsatisfied and desperate for release as Damon poured his seed inside of him. Stefan could actually feel it going in and it was terrifyingly satisfying. Once Damon had emptied himself, he pulled out in one quick movement and Stefan gasped, his insides contracting. He exhaled, scared Damon was going to leave him wanting. Last time Damon had climaxed he still kept going so Stefan could orgasm too but this time he had pulled out completely. Maybe he was still mad after all. Stefan whimpered and squeezed his eyes closed. Damon sighed satisfied and moved backwards along the floor.

"No…" Stefan pleaded and Damon didn't answer. Stefan began to lower himself into the floor in defeat as he became emotional, when Damon caught his hips and stilled his movement. Stefan stopped in anticipation and Damon leaned forward and licked where he had felt his skin tear. His tongue was so warm and it calmed the fire surrounding his entrance. He bit out a small groan and Damon stroked his behind gently and licked the area, soothing away the fire and pain. Slowly, he turned Stefan over and moved him flat onto his back again. Stefan's eyes were full of unshed tears and emotion and Damon stroked his face tenderly, soothingly for a minute, still not speaking as Stefan calmed and relaxed again.

Damon gave him a half smile and descended to his groin. Stefan held his breath again and Damon took him into his mouth. The wait for release made this all the more intense as Stefan moaned and gyrated into his mouth. He hadn't expected him to do this. He had expected him to use his hands – he'd wanted that so badly but now that Damon was swirling his tongue around him and sucking him, he couldn't believe his luck. Despite the pain, this had been even more intense, better, than last time. He couldn't believe it. They were still a little out of synchrony with each other but that would come with time. Damon didn't know what he liked and he didn't know how to work Damon's body. He'd never given it much thought before. Women were easy to work out. He knew how they liked to be touched or stimulated but Damon was a conundrum of complexity and body parts he knew, but yet didn't know.

He tilted his head back as Damon became more insistent and deepened the connection. Stefan moaned and struggled to hold himself back as he ran his fingers through Damon's hair and pulled. Would Damon let him cum in his mouth? God he so wanted to! Elena never wanted to though, so he always had to warn her and let her pull away. He could feel it approaching and he began to whisper Damon's name in warning. Damon opened his eyes and looked up at him determined and Stefan gasped in disbelief. Was he going to? Stefan's mouth fell open and he tensed for it. Damon held his hips hard and firm, making his intention clear and Stefan arched helplessly and spilled into his throat. It felt so good not to hold back. He couldn't believe Damon was doing it. He looked down to see Damon's eyes closed in concentration.

"Uhhhh, god…." Stefan moaned, almost as a sob of relief and gratitude and Damon let him slip out of his mouth again, soft and relieved. He expected Damon to get up now but instead he spread Stefan's legs wider. Stefan lifted his head with effort to look at him as he panted and tried to recover, when Damon bit into the artery at the top of his groin and began to snack. The enormity of his climax was still lingering in his body and with Damon's suckling to add to it he mewled and lost control of his limbs again, melting into the floor completely as he gave in and sobbed in rapture and acceptance. Damon took only a little before pulling up and watching him. Stefan closed his eyes as he continued to sob and Damon leaned on top of him and held him, pulling him up into a sitting position, hugging him as Stefan calmed. Damon rocked him slightly and Stefan leaned his face into Damon's shoulder as recovered. It felt so nice to be held like this, so securely and tightly.

He brought his hand up to the side of Damon's head and pulled back to search his face. Damon captured his mouth as he did so and they kissed gently for a few minutes, Damon still rocking him and holding him around his bottom soothingly, circling his thumb around the tear which had now healed completely. Damon eventually pulled back and held Stefan's face between his hands.

"I'm going to get her for you Stefan. I promise." He whispered and Stefan nodded.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They quickly had to formulate their plan to trap Katherine. She was too much of a danger to them all, especially Elena and they had to kill her. After Stefan had slept off the mind blowing angry sex he'd had with Damon he felt much calmer and collected. No wonder Damon was addicted to sex, used it as a coping mechanism – it was so cathartic. His body hurt a little though, more than it had after their first time. Damon felt a little bad afterwards at how much it had hurt him, but he didn't actually apologise – Damon never apologised for anything, but still, Stefan could tell he felt bad.

It had taken a couple of days of hunting and feeding on deer before the pains went away completely. He thought of Elena throughout but the pain didn't cripple him as much as he thought it might. Even if they couldn't be together he could still be here to protect her, to make sure she got to live her life without fear. It made him feel happy that he could do that, that no matter how long she lived, he'd always be able to ensure that she was protected. It was the only advantage of being a vampire that he finally felt thankful for. With eternal youth came eternal strength, speed, agility and ingenuity. He'd be a young man in his prime forever and able to jump at a moment's notice of any trouble or pain that might be inflicted upon her.

Damon was changed too since everything. His temper was much abated and he was actually slightly more affectionate towards Stefan, less of his characteristic asshole self. He was feeling. He cared. Stefan knew he cared about him, he'd demonstrated it in so many ways over the past while – saving him from the sun, nursing him, feeding him without reward and now, being here for him physically without expectation. It seemed like a perfect contract between them both. It was nice to know that he wouldn't come home to any frat girls or have to listen to Damon pleasuring someone down the hall when he was trying to write or sleep. With the absence of a relationship, Stefan had offered himself to Damon if he needed him and Damon had agreed. It was mutually beneficial.

The stress of planning a coup against Katherine had rendered them both full of adrenaline and Stefan looked to him as everyone left the boarding house to prepare for the masked ball that evening. Elena was being kept out of the loop on this occasion and everyone was agreed that that was for the best. Damon closed the door behind them all as they left and leaned back against it exhaling.

"This is going to work." He said daydreaming and Stefan smiled and offered him a glass of bourbon.

"At this hour?" Damon asked mockingly and Stefan shrugged as he came to the sofa and accepted the glass from him. Stefan poured himself a glass too and Damon eyed him in amazement. "Who are you and what have you done with my sensible, boring evening-only drinker brother?"

"He's learning from his big brother that sometimes it's ok to have fun." Stefan jested back and took a sip. Damon chuckled.

"You're finally learning. I've only been telling you that for 145 years."

"150 years I seem to recall." Stefan pointed out and Damon paused counting. "You tried to get me to raid father's wine cellar for whisky when I was barely a teenager, don't you remember?" He chuckled and Damon grinned and gave him a silent _cheers_ with his glass.

"You've always tried to corrupt me." Stefan teased and Damon choked. "I'm glad I let you this time."

Damon coughed a little and recovered himself as Stefan laughed.

"Glad to hear it." He said.

"Do you think we would ever have had this? If we hadn't spent so many years fighting each other?" Stefan asked and Damon fell silent as he thought on it before shaking his head.

"No. I wanted to kill you."

"And you don't anymore?"

"No." Damon gave him a weak smile.

"What about when we were human?" Stefan added and Damon sighed and looked him in the eye.

"What are you _really_ asking Stef?" Stefan blushed and looked into his glass. What was he asking?

"Would you have wanted our arrangement back then?"

"No." Damon sighed again.

"Why?"

"Because…you were…we were…" Damon stumbled becoming uncomfortable and Stefan instantly regretted asking. Why was it so important to him that he knew if Damon had wanted him back then, if he had had any thoughts like this? "You were just a kid Stefan and…so was I. You were my baby brother. It would've been…" Damon frowned and Stefan was sure he saw a flash of disgust fill his expression that made his stomach churn uncomfortably.

"I'm still your brother."

"It's different now. We're not those people anymore."

"When you feel turned on, is it because of me or is it something else?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"Is it me? Do you feel something for me?" Stefan blushed, he was in very deep water. Damon huffed and sat back closing his eyes.

"The sooner we kill Katherine the better." Damon mumbled almost inaudibly and Stefan frowned.

"So I can go back to Elena?" He surmised and Damon huffed again. "I feel something for you." He stated, his heart in his mouth as Damon opened his eyes to look at him quizzically. He suddenly felt very nervous and exposed. "I…I trust you. I let you inside of me because I know you won't hurt me. I can be myself because I know you'll take care of me."

A look of relief passed over Damon's features as he spoke and Stefan bit his lip. He wanted to say more – that he didn't know how he felt, that he wanted to pleasure Damon too because he felt something more. He wouldn't call it love necessarily – he knew he loved Elena but there was something nagging him about being with Damon. He wanted to explore it and he wanted Damon to let him, to help him explore it.

"Do you not want to do this anymore?" Damon asked and Stefan's mouth fell open.

"No!"

"I'm not in love with you Stefan." Damon said calmly and Stefan blushed and nodded in acceptance of that. "It's just sex."

"Amazing sex." Stefan added, trying to keep emotion out of his voice and make light of it all. Damon smirked happily.

"Everything will be ok. You'll get Elena back and get back on your diet fully."

"What about you? You need this too." Stefan pointed out and Damon shrugged.

"Plenty of frat girls brother."

"There always have been and yet…"

"I can't be as rough with them as I can with you. I'll just have to turn it down a notch to vigorous, not mind blowing." Damon flashed him a toothy grin and drank more bourbon.

"No throwing around and biting?"

"Maybe not so much throwing around." Damon smirked and Stefan felt his groin heat up at the thought.

"You've never thrown me around really. You said sex with you was exercise." Damon eyed him suspiciously and Stefan raised his eyebrows and took a sip of bourbon, challenging him with his eyes.

"You're a few hours away from getting your girlfriend back Stefan."

"And I still haven't experienced the Damon sex-a-thon I've heard so much about. Maybe you were just blowing your own trumpet." Damon chuckled in disbelief and shook his head.

"You really want to?"

"We've got some time to kill." Stefan said, his growing erection making his feelings on the topic clear. Damon looked to his groin and bit his lip considering it.

"How much do you hurt?"

"I'm fine. I hunted earlier." Stefan said a little breathless. Damon put his glass down and stood up.

"My room." Damon instructed and Stefan nodded, putting his glass down and heading upstairs as butterflies were let loose inside of his stomach. If this was the last time, he wanted all of it.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Stefan entered Damon's room, breathing in the smell of his cologne and approached the bed as Damon came in behind him and locked the door. He climbed onto the bed and turned onto his back, looking towards him. Damon began to undress and so Stefan did the same. When they were both naked Damon stood looking at him and thinking.

"No Elena, no talking about it afterwards?" Stefan nodded in response. "How rough do you want this?" Damon asked and Stefan winced a little in memory of the pain from the other day. Damon nodded a little and Stefan felt a pang of guilt hit him.

"I want it all, it just hurt so much at first…but I want it all." He corrected himself and Damon gave him a weak smile. "You always let me let go completely. I want you to do the same. I just…might need to feed on you to heal for tonight."

"I'm not going to hurt you like that again."

"But I want you to…"

"I didn't have to do that Stefan. I just _wanted_ to hurt you." Damon sighed and Stefan gulped. "We'll start slow and easy ok."

"Then you'll let go?" Stefan asked hopefully and Damon grinned, excited at Stefan's desire to have him rough. Stefan nodded and opened his legs in invitation, but Damon shook his head.

"Stand up. That drawer in there, get me the tube." He instructed and Stefan reached in and pulled out some lubricant. He smiled in relief – this would make it much easier. Is this what he had used yesterday? "Come here." Stefan approached him and handed him the tube.

Damon took the tube from him and opened it, smearing some onto his fingers as Stefan watched, his heart beat thundering in his ears. Stefan waited for Damon to insert his fingers but instead Damon reached down and stroked himself, coating his manhood slowly. He sighed and closed his eyes as he teased himself and grew harder. Stefan watched and felt his own manhood twitch in excitement. He wanted to touch him. He leant in and began to kiss him as Damon pumped himself lazily. Stefan pushed his tongue into his mouth and Damon hummed. He reached down and placed his hand on top of Damon's and Damon removed his hand to let Stefan take over. The lubricant made the action feel so silky and pleasant as Stefan moved over the flesh and Damon made a few sighs and moans at the back of his throat. Stefan continued to kiss him, holding him around his waist with his free hand.

He jumped a little when he felt coldness against his entrance. Damon had reached down and inserted his finger covered in lube and was gently massaging the hole there. Stefan relaxed and enjoyed the sensation as Damon pushed his finger in gently. Stefan broke away from his mouth to moan.

"Let me suck you? Uhhh…" Damon had two fingers in now and it didn't hurt or feel weird now.

"Not right now." Damon panted and Stefan grunted in disappointment.

"Please…" He'd never done it before and he wanted to. Damon had swallowed him yesterday and it felt unbelievable. He wanted to let Damon feel that too. He pumped him excitedly, hoping to change his mind and Damon moaned and hung his mouth open.

"Later." He breathed and pushed a third finger inside of him as Stefan leaned into him for support.

"You promise?" Stefan squeaked and closed his eyes. Damon hummed in agreement and suddenly pulled all of his fingers out abruptly, making Stefan's eyes pop open. Stefan leaned back to ask why when Damon's vampire face appeared and he stepped back in surprise as Damon bore his fangs and pushed him into the wall fiercely, biting and drinking deep from his neck. Stefan struggled not to feel pain and resist and Damon pinned him hard enough to bruise so that he couldn't move. It was uncomfortable though and he couldn't resist trying to push Damon's hold a little. Before he knew it Damon had swept his legs from under him and lifted them around his waist. Stefan yelled in surprise and clutched Damon's back, holding on desperately in case he was dropped.

Damon drank on, in little mouthfuls and then pulled back to kiss him passionately as he pushed his erection inside of him in one go again. Stefan gasped from the shock but it didn't hurt this time. He didn't have time to utter a word as Damon began to ram into him fiercely, hungrily as he lay pinned and holding onto him. Damon's mouth was everywhere – in his mouth, at his throat, biting his lip and growling as Stefan's body was jolted into the wall over and over again.

Stefan panted and tried to collect the pieces of his scattered brain but it was impossible with Damon consuming him like this. He thought Damon might calm down and release soon as Damon started to slow his movements gradually. Stefan panted exhausted and began to feel his climax start just from the penetration alone. He made small moaning sounds and lay his head back into the wall. The wall disappeared suddenly and Stefan was flying through the air and landing in a heap onto the bed. He shouted in surprise and opened his eyes, just in time to see Damon crawl over him and pull him forward into his lap. Yet again Damon had total control over his body. His insides were sensitive now and sinking down onto Damon's manhood felt great. He moaned at the action and Damon began to move him up and down on top of him. His vampire face was still at the surface and Stefan closed his eyes, feeling his own veins show in desire. Damon bit into his neck again, growling and hammering into him as he moved Stefan's hips in rhythm and Stefan cried in pleasure and climaxed against Damon's stomach. Damon kept going, making his climax stretch and Stefan folded his arms around his back and fell forward into Damon's neck as he tried to recover some energy. He bit into his neck in an effort to make Damon climax too but Damon stopped moving and moaned as he drank, flexing his hips up every now and then.

"Stop…" Damon breathed and Stefan did so, licking over his shoulder to collect any drips and Damon groaned in lust. Damon leaned them over so that Stefan was on his back again and he hooked Stefan's legs around his neck. Stefan gasped as Damon leaned in. He was in impossibly deep. Stefan shouted out a little in fear and Damon began his thrusting again. It didn't take long before Damon was growling in restraint at his own climax and Stefan was tossing his head desperately to have another climax too. Damon stopped just as they were both so close and pulled out.

"Damon!" Stefan growled, vexed and desperate and Damon got off of the bed and dragged him by his ankles down to the end of the mattress. "What are you doing?" Stefan panted desperately and Damon's vampire face returned. He pulled Stefan by his waist and lifted him again, turning him quickly and pushing him face down on the mattress in a kneeling position on the floor.

"Hold on." He growled and Stefan opened his legs wide and held the bed frame for dear life as Damon entered him from behind again. Stefan cried in pleasure and Damon held him firmly, dominating him as he rode another climax. He had no seed left to spill but his body jolted anyway. He gasped and cried into the mattress below him as Damon spilled inside of him finally. Damon stilled and cried out a satisfied and breathy moan. He rubbed his hands over Stefan's behind and licked up his spine as Stefan shivered at every touch. His body was alive and glorious with sensitivity. After a few minutes Stefan began to drop off into a snooze when Damon leaned in and whispered in his ear.

"Cherry on the cake?"

"Hmmm?" Stefan murmured, half dazed and Damon withdrew from inside of him. Damon pulled him backwards into an embrace and Stefan lay back into him, immediately feeling that Damon was still erect. How? Wasn't he wrung out and empty by now? Damon growled in the back of his throat and bit Stefan's shoulder to snack and Stefan tilted his head back sighing.

"You wanted some exercise?" Damon purred and Stefan moaned and leaned into his touches. Damon stood and lifted him, sitting him down on his side table. Stefan struggled to stay upright as he looked at him in amazement. Damon stood up and pulled him forward again until he was sheathed inside. Stefan leaned back on his elbows and tried to breathe.

"I can't Damon, I'm exhausted." He sighed and Damon just chuckled. He leaned into Stefan's chest and flicked his nipple with his tongue and Stefan let out a sigh.

"Be a vampire Stefan." He whispered and Stefan felt his veins come to the surface of his eyes. Damon bit into his chest and drew out a mouthful and Stefan panted, feeling the desire to feed overwhelm him as he grabbed Damon roughly and pushed him back, biting into his neck hungrily. Damon encouraged it as he started to move in and out of him again. Stefan gasped, spilling some blood down his shoulder as he did so, but he tightened his grip and locked his jaw onto his artery and fed as Damon moaned and pounded into him, moving him around the desk as items placed there fell and smashed. The table began to rock back and forth with the force of their movements and Stefan pulled his teeth out and roared loudly, lost in instinct. Damon looked a little weaker now from the blood loss but he was still thrusting wildly. Stefan pushed them forward off of the table and they landed with a crash, the table following them as it broke to pieces on top of Stefan's back, but Stefan hardly noticed. Damon finally released his hold and fell back into the carpet as Stefan growled again and pinned his hands down.

Damon was his now. He climbed off of his erection and Damon groaned desperately. Payback was a bitch. Stefan lay between his legs and fed some more from his chest as it heaved.

"Stefan…" Damon whined and Stefan chuckled against his skin and pulled his teeth out. It was liberating to see Damon now so weak and desperate. He taken so much of his blood, Damon couldn't hold him anymore. Stefan finally leaned down and took him in his mouth. Damon yelped and moaned. Stefan had never done this before but he was going to give it a shot. Damon was much bigger than he realised though. He tried to keep his teeth away as he sucked and stroked with his tongue. Damon had him every which way today and he was going to strive for wrecking Damon's mind too. As he sucked he ran his finger over Damon's entrance and Damon moaned loudly and gyrated. He wanted to take him here too. He pulled his mouth from his erection and licked his fingers to insert them.

"No." Damon whispered and Stefan looked to him in surprise. "Suck me please." Damon whined. Stefan blinked. He wanted to be inside of him.

"I want to…"

"Stefan I can't wait." Damon flushed and begged and Stefan nodded and took him back into his mouth again, sucking with renewed vigour. He slipped his finger inside of his entrance as he sucked and Damon shouted incoherently and bucked upwards. He would settle for this instead. He slid his fingers in and out as Damon began to shout loudly, almost a step from pain. If Stefan hadn't had his continuing erection and gyrating as an indication, he might have believed Damon was in pain and wanted him to stop. He sped all his movements up, pushing his fingers so deep inside, Damon screamed and emptied into his mouth. It was such a huge reaction that Stefan wasn't prepared for and he struggled, choking slightly as Damon's seed poured into his mouth. He struggled to swallow and had to squeeze his eyes closed until it was over. Damon melted into the floor as he slipped him out of his mouth panting for air. Damon closed his eyes and kept silent as Stefan spoke to him gently, asking him if he was ok. Damon didn't respond. Stefan leaned over him and stroked his face, but he could see Damon was out of it. He carefully lifted him under his back, struggling slightly as he stood but he managed to get them both over to Damon's bed and covered with his duvet. Damon was completely gone and peaceful and Stefan hazily checked the time. They had 4 hours before the ball. They could sleep and then get ready and plan. Damon was asleep so he couldn't argue this time as Stefan wrapped himself around him, kissing his mouth gently before he lay his head in the crook of Damon's neck and fell asleep.

"Uhhh…wait…" Damon mumbled in his sleep, rousing Stefan from the best sleep he'd ever had. "Katherine…"

Stefan lifted his head at the mention of her name and Damon tightened his hold around him. In his sleep Damon had turned to him and embraced him. Stefan sighed comfortably. Did Damon think he was Katherine though? The thought made him nervous. If he still felt for Katherine he might not be able to go through with their plan tonight. Stefan frowned and looked at his face, hoping he'd say something more that would allude to what he was dreaming about. He'd read that often asking questions when someone was in this state meant you could access their subconscious mind, but there was also a risk of waking them too. Damon eyelids fluttered with movement indicating he was still dreaming.

"Damon?" Stefan whispered very gently and Damon hummed. "Do you love Katherine?" He could hear his own heart beat frantically, hoping that Damon couldn't. Damon crooked an eyebrow.

"Katherine…" He sighed and Stefan bit his lip. What did that mean? Was that a yes? Damon sighed again. "Stefan…" He whispered quietly and Stefan held his breath.

"Do you love Stefan?"

"She hurt him."

"Do you love him?"

"He's my brother." Damon frowned a little and Stefan stopped for a little while and lay his head back into his neck, not wanting to risk waking him. It took awhile for his heart beat to slow. Why had he asked him that? He held perfectly still as Damon's breathing lulled him. He wanted Damon to feel something, that was the truth of it – because he did. There was no mistaking it. He knew now that he couldn't stop having this and he certainly couldn't be with Elena at the same time. It wasn't right and not fair to her. He'd have to tell her tonight once Katherine was dead. He leaned his head up again and looked at Damon's face. He was beautiful, he'd never noticed it. Of course it had never escaped his notice that Damon was very attractive – he'd always hated that. Damon only had to look at a girl with those glowing blue eyes and they would take their underwear off for him without question. Not only did Damon have the looks, he had the confidence and charm. He'd just never directed it at Stefan until now.

Damon had the softer features of their mother – full lips, blushing cheeks and delicately shaped eyes. Stefan inherited their fathers' traits much more and although he had always thought he was handsome, Damon had always been the 'prettier' one of the two of them. Stefan shook his head slowly. Suddenly Damon had gone from being his annoying older brother to being beautiful and sexy? What was up with the universe and how did he press pause? Did he want to press pause?

"Hmmmn." Damon mumbled again and slid his hand up Stefan's side slowly. Stefan closed his eyes enjoying the gentleness of it. Damon was close to waking now. They probably should get up. He leaned in and placed his lips onto Damon's gently. Damon responded to the kiss and held him around his back closer to him. Stefan could feel a growing erection pressing into him and he wished they had time. They really had to get up now though. He gave a small groan of frustration at that and Damon opened his eyes.

"Stefan?" He whispered and pulled back a little, removing his hands as Stefan sat up feeling caught out.

"That was quite some exercise." Stefan commented lightly but he felt disappointed in Damon's reaction. Damon blushed as he tried to recall their carnal activities and sat up looking embarrassed.

"Sorry. I never fall asleep." He mumbled and got out of the bed, before realising he had an erection. Oddly he grabbed his jeans from the floor, unwilling to stand up and walk from the bed nude. It didn't escape Stefan's notice that Damon felt awkward and ill at ease. How could he? They'd been sleeping together for days now. Why was he embarrassed to show off his body? Damon normal didn't bat an eyelid at walking around completely starkers especially to annoy people.

"Everything ok?"

"Yeah, we should just get ready for tonight." Damon fastened his jeans up and turned back to him. Stefan got out of the bed and walked around the bed to retrieve his clothing. Damon watched him, looking at his body as he moved and Stefan swore he saw some blushing on his cheeks.

"You not going to ask me for my rating?" Stefan asked and Damon blinked at him.

"Huh?"

"Your score for demonstration of your exercise skills?" Stefan tried to joke. Instead of becoming smug like usual Damon gave a short laugh of embarrassment and looked away. "What's wrong? You wanted this didn't you?"

"Of course I did." He said too quickly.

"I didn't hurt you did I?"

"Huh?" Where were Damon's listening skills today?

"When I used my fingers. I wasn't sure if you were enjoying it." Stefan pulled his shirt over his head again, dressed once more and Damon paled a little and licked his lips.

"Yeah…no, you didn't hurt me. It was fine."

"Fine?" Stefan gave a chuckle and folded his arms. "You passed out afterwards. I had to carry you to bed." Damon blew out a breath and ran his hand through one side of his hair, tilting his head.

"Sorry." Damon apologised. Stefan stepped up to him and he looked nervous. He cupped his cheek and Damon's eyes widened marginally. "Thanks."

"Huh?"

"I loved it." Stefan said and leaned in placing a small kiss on his lips. Damon pulled back after a few seconds and gave an embarrassed laugh again before stepping away.

"Let's get our heads in gear. We've got a bitch troll to kill tonight." He said and Stefan watched him leave the room, stupefied by his reaction. Had he done something wrong? Was he mad because he had slept beside him? He hadn't want to sleep in the bed with him that other time, maybe that was what was wrong here. He honestly couldn't figure it out. As he began to walk down the stairs he remembered his body and stopped, wincing. He felt raw inside from how rough Damon had been and how many items of furniture he'd being taken on or against. He groaned a little.

"Damon?" He called. He needed to feed to heal to be on top form. Damon didn't respond so he limped down the remaining stairs a little to find Damon in the kitchen, pouring some blood from his wrist into a cup with deer in it. He stopped and watched in surprise.

"Maybe I shouldn't mix today. It should be all yours." He commented and Damon seemed to tense at the idea.

"I haven't fed yet so I don't have enough Stefan. Besides, this'll help keep you on track." He handed him the glass and Stefan took it, disappointed. "How badly do you hurt?"

"I'll be fine if I can have some more once you've fed." Stefan began to drink as Damon watched him, his expression unreadable. "Can I feed from the vein? It's so much better."

"Stefan…" Damon sighed and closed his eyes, seemingly frustrated. "I can't. I need to stay sharp and focussed tonight."

"Ok." Stefan said quietly, feeling chastised and Damon looked at him guiltily.

"I'll pour some out for you after I've had a shower ok?" Damon offered and Stefan nodded silently and gave him a tight smile. Damon nodded and went back up to his room to feed and wash. Stefan began the process of showering and dressing himself in his costume attire. The whole time, he thought on how strange Damon was being. He wanted to understand. He needed to understand if this weirdness would continue. Damon had always been able to switch to being his usual self straight after they had slept together, so why was this occasion different? He gulped as his stomach rolled anxiously. Had Damon had enough of it all? Was he going to stop this?

He left him out a glass full of his blood, true to his word and Stefan drank it down, savouring the taste as Damon fed again discretely. They left together in the Camaro, not really speaking other than to confirm their plan. Caroline was going to lure Katherine up to one of the rooms they were waiting for her inside and Bonnie was going to spell the room so that she couldn't escape. They were going to ascertain firstly, what she wanted the moonstone for and then kill her finally. They both felt confident it would work. Damon had pulled his calm exterior back on again as they had arrived and Stefan took a deep breath and did the same. He would deal with Damon's weirdness later, right now they had to be focussed.

Everything seemed to go according to plan as Caroline led her in and then laughed in glee that she had been able to fool her. Stefan couldn't suppress a smile at Caroline's exuberance as she bounced happily back down the stairs to leave Katherine to her well deserved fate. At the same time they both stepped out of hiding and Katherine turned around and smirked at them both.

"Of course, it's the danger twins." She snorted.

"Hello Katherine." Stefan smiled politely.

"Where's the moonstone?" She cut to the chase.

"Why do you want it?" Damon asked calmly.

"That would be telling now wouldn't it? Give it to me."

"Hmmm….nah. What do you think Stef? Should we let lady harlet here have the moonstone?" He pulled it from his top pocket and tossed it in the air, catching it with ease as he gave her a toothy grin. Stefan liked where he was going with this and folded his arms and hummed too, pulling out his stake, special carved just for her. She eyed it and swayed her hips as she walked towards him confidently.

"Now you don't really think you can kill me with that do you?"

"No." Stefan tilted his head in admission and looked to Damon as he pulled a large rifle out and aimed it at her heart. It was a Rick special and fired Wooden stakes through the barrel – quite ingenious. "But he can." Stefan smiled and Damon fired a stake into her back. It didn't quite go through her heart, but that hadn't been his intention. He wanted to know what they were up against, what she knew. She screamed and clutched her back as she fell forward slightly and Damon laughed in glee. He'd wanted to hurt her, to make her suffer for all of the pain she'd caused him. He was going to enjoy this.

Stefan dove forward and tried to stab her but she deflected with her arm, piercing her upper arm instead as Stefan struggled with her. She tossed him backwards and he fell to a heap. Damon moved forward, grabbing the stake from her back and tried to stake her again but she tossed him into a chair like garbage and he hit his head dazed. Stefan threw a few stakes at her, courtesy of another one of Rick's inventions but she was just too fast. She had time on them. She made them and she'd been around a while before they had even been conceived of.

Damon rose back up again and tried to get her while she was fighting Stefan but Stefan was thrown into a wall and collapsed injured. He looked over at Stefan frantically checking he was ok and in that second she grabbed his hand and twisted him so that the stake was now pointing at his heart. He struggled, giving it all of his strength as the stake pushed further and further towards him. He brought his other hand up to hold it back but it began to pierce his skin slowly.

"Damon!" Stefan shouted in fear and grabbed her around her neck from behind, pulling her back from him until they fell on the floor, Stefan strangling her with his arm as Damon stepped forward relieved and bleeding and aimed high to stake her once and for all when Jeremy dashed in.

"Stop! Everything you're doing to her is hurting Elena!" He shouted and Damon paused panting in disbelief. He looked into her eyes and she smiled widely in response and he knew it was true. He frowned not wanting to believe it as Stefan looked to him in terror and released her from his hold. She pushed him aside and stood up smugly. Damon stepped back, stake still in hand as he tried to process it.

"You think you're the only one with a witch on their side?" She asked sweetly and Damon stared trapped in her gaze.

"Jeremy go check Elena's ok!" Stefan instructed and Jeremy dashed out.

"Yeah let's make sure poor Elena's ok. Let's just give her a little more pressure." She grabbed a stake from the floor and dragged it deep into the palm of her hand slicing it open. Stefan grabbed it from her and she lifted another. They both stood motionless and unsure how to react now.

"This is really gonna hurt." She smiled and moved to stab herself in the stomach.

"Wait!" Damon shouted and she paused and raised her eyebrows. She sat down calmly and crossed her legs.

"Ok. So commanding Damon. I like you like this." She flirted and he snorted as Stefan looked to him. She looked at Stefan, noticing how Stefan was looking Damon over for injuries and she raised an eyebrow.

"Tell me Stefan, since we are all locked in here together – doesn't it bother you Damon's in love with your girlfriend?"

"That was a pathetic try." Stefan smiled. He knew Damon had feelings for Elena, they had head butted about it before but he knew she was just trying to distract them.

"Maybe you're just not bothered about it anymore." She smiled and sat back into the sofa as they both stared at her. "Has a dull human life and girlfriend finally outlived its novelty Stefan?"

"Maybe we should gag her. If I have to listen to her all night I'm going to get a migraine." Damon moaned and moved to pour himself a drink from the conveniently placed brandy table in the corner.

"All night huh? Now that would be some exercise. Some people might say a talk-a-thon." She kept her expression innocent and Stefan looked at her and felt the hairs on his body all rise. Why would she use that term? His heart began to beat faster and he shot a look over at Damon as he tried to remain calm. Damon was doing well at pretending he didn't know what she was talking about but Stefan noticed it, a very minute shake in his hands as he lifted the brandy glass.

"I think a gag is a good idea." He said sounding as confident as possible.

"I'd enjoy that Stefan. There are a lot of things I'd enjoy that would surprise you. You were so innocent when we last met. I'd only begun to show you." She continued and he felt himself rooted to the spot, stuck in her web. Damon brought him out of it as he slammed his glass down in the corner. He turned to look at him, as did Katherine but he had his back turned to them both.

"I think Damon feels left out." She pouted and he turned, rage boiling in his eyes as he looked at her.

"No, go ahead. I was always an alternate anyway." He spat in a strange melodic fashion that made Stefan frown. They shouldn't indulge her any longer. She knew them inside and out and she knew how to play them. Damon still wasn't healed from all of her betrayal. His face when she had broken him…the way he had given up before latching onto Stefan desperately in an attempt to find some peace…it came back to Stefan's mind as he saw pain behind Damon's ferocity. He walked over to him and squeezed his shoulder. Damon flinched slightly and Katherine broke into a smile.

"Still wound up so tight Damon. I would have thought with your bad boy part to play you would have loosened up. Did I not teach you to take what you want? To do what you want?"

"Shut up Katherine or I will gag you." Stefan threatened and Damon shrugged him off and took another drink, before pulling a stake out of his top pocket and lunging for her. Stefan grabbed him around his middle and held him desperately.

"Elena!" He reminded and Damon panted and pushed him off. He seemed unhinged.

"You seem like you need to blow off some steam Damon. Hasn't Stefan been doing it right?" She asked conversationally and they both looked to her speechless. "You don't seriously think I've not been keeping an eye on you do you? Keep your friends close…" She gave a small laugh, delighted in the colour draining from their faces. She stood up and prowled towards them both. Damon stepped back a step.

"Damon let me suck you please…?" She repeated his plea from this afternoon and Stefan felt like vomiting. He felt violated that she had spied on them during their most intimate moment. Damon looked to the ground and Stefan swallowed. She could tell everyone. She looked over to Stefan.

"I taught him most of what he knows. I even taught him how to enjoy being taken back then. I had quite an assortment of tools to make him cry for me. I had such plans for the three of us." She curled her finger around her hair as she spoke, reminiscing and Stefan clenched his fists.

"You disgust me." He said coldly and she looked at him in surprise.

"I'm not the one sleeping with my brother Stefan." She said matter of factly. "But, saying that, who could resist really? His body…that face…" Damon flushed in anger and discomfort as she spoke. "I've always wondered what it felt like to be inside someone." She purred and Stefan pushed her backwards with a crash and sent her flying over a chair. She got up laughing merrily.

"Where is that witch?" Damon growled frustrated and faced the doorway waiting as Stefan tried to regain his composure.

"I take it that means he hasn't let you? I could always hold him down for you." She offered and Damon growled in rage and hatred, marching towards her again. Stefan barred his way as he tried to think.

"What about a threesome? Elena is too breakable, but you'll do. We could just tape your mouth closed and pretend you're her." He offered and her smile dropped as she seethed. "You look enough alike. You could be our Elena doll. Mind you, you've been around a while. You might be rotting inside."

"It's not my insides you want though is it Stefan?" She joined the game as she flicked her eyes to Damon. "I bet you don't even want Elena anymore do you?"

"No." Stefan answered honestly and both Damon and Katherine looked to him in shock, their mouths hanging open. She tried to recover quickly as she looked to Damon.

"But you do. You can't keep sleeping with your brother. You used to feed him, bathe him, change his diapers." She teased, trying to renew Damon's sense of human responsibility and horror for what they were doing. Damon chewed his lip. He had to get a handle on this, on her. He stepped into her space and sighed, stroking her face gently.

"Katherine, I do whatever the hell I want to do." He smiled sweetly and ran his finger tips slowly down over her chest as he dropped his hand and hummed at the back of his throat, watching her pupils expand in desire. "We used to have great sex. Who says we can't go out with a bang?" He breathed, using his best purring and come to bed eyes as she blushed under his gaze. He slid his hands around her waist and she opened her mouth a little to breathe as she watched him.

"You can show him what I like."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Katherine took in a shaky breath as she gazed into his eyes. He had her. He leant towards her mouth and she stabbed him through his stomach. He folded at her feet and Stefan bore his teeth and moved towards her but she held the stake to her heart and he paused.

"Bonnie!" Stefan roared, unwilling to play anymore as he helped Damon over to the sofa as he grunted from pain.

"Katherine." A new voice spoke and both Damon and Stefan looked up to see a tall woman standing on the threshold. Stefan squinted. He had no idea who he was.

"Finally. You almost caught an x-rated show there." Katherine giggled and approached her.

"The spells been lifted, you can leave now."

"Do you have it?"

"Once I hand this over my debt to you is paid in full."

"Yes…"

"I owe you nothing."

"Fine, now give it to me." Katherine sighed and took the moonstone from her, immediately clutching her throat in fear as she crumpled before their eyes.

"You should have told me another witch was involved Katherine. She's a Bennett witch, but then I'm sure you knew that." The stranger said and looked up as Damon and Stefan stood, supporting each other. "The spell is lifted, your friend is alright. I'm sorry for my part."

She walked away as they separated and rounded on Katherine's body in disbelief. Damon held his stomach tenderly as he healed and Stefan exhaled loudly.

"Go, make sure Elena is ok. I'll deal with her." Damon said and Stefan faced him in concern.

"You're hurt."

"I'm fine. Big bad vampire here, remember?" Damon gave him a smirk and Stefan chewed his lip.

"I'll help you."

"Stefan." Damon sighed and closed his eyes. "Your girl is outside. Go and save the day." He said calmly and Stefan felt his chest tighten. He could see from Damon's expression that he shouldn't argue. Damon was tired and sore. Arguing with him would only make him mad. He nodded stiffly and left the room, using all of his energy not to look back as he descended the stairs.

Damon let out a deep breath and knelt down to lift Katherine into his arms. With any luck he could convince people she was drunk. He didn't want to think on anything that had just happened, he didn't have time to have any feelings about it. He just had to get her in the tomb where she belonged, then he could think straight. He carried her out of the party amidst some disapproving looks from the 'adults' and lay her in the back of his car. He looked down at her face for a few seconds. How could two people look so alike and yet be worlds apart? Elena was her polar opposite – beautiful and caring, soft and fragile and Katherine was…like him. Yes, a lot like him actually. He was dangerous and selfish and self serving. He was beautiful on the outside but rotten inside. They belonged together – he'd believed that for a long long time. She'd always known him better than himself, physically and mentally. It was a shame he hated her because she was a good match, much better than Elena, much better than…

He shook his head and climbed into the car trying not to think. He drove like a racetrack driver to the tomb and carried her in. He wanted her as far into the tomb as he could get her to ensure she would be behind the seal. He threw her in and she crumpled to the ground. Then he sat down and waited. He needed payback for everything. He'd wanted that in the form of ripping her heart from her chest and showing it to her but this would be better. She'd finally get what she deserved if she lived forever stuck in the place she was supposed to have been this whole time – where he had thought she had been kept from him for so long. Where he had hoped he'd rescue her and fall in love with her all over again as she embraced him and opened her arms to him like before. He'd been such a fool, such an adolescent. It was time he saw things for what they were and stopped hiding from what was right in front of him. Time he started to live. He'd never really lived. He'd spent his whole immortal life waiting for her and now he realised how much he had wasted, all that time…All that hate directed at Stefan when he had been just as fooled as he had been.

Stefan.

He leaned his head back and sighed. What was he going to do? Katherine stirred and he stood up, thankful for some respite from where his thoughts were headed. Katherine began to panic when she realised where she was and she begged him to let her out and not to leave her. She even tried to convince him that Elena was in danger and they needed her help.

"Enjoy the rest of eternity Katherine." He said and closed the door to the tomb as she cried and screamed and begged. The door sealed and he lay his forehead on it as he breathed. He could still hear her screams of fear and he moved away to sit. His legs turned to jelly and he stumbled and sat on the step as he felt his heart shudder. It was over, finally. He opened his mouth to sigh in satisfaction when a sob came out instead and he caught his mouth with his hand as his eyes filled with tears he hadn't even known he needed to shed. He placed his head in his hands and let himself weep, weep for the life she had stolen from him, for the broken promises she had made, for all of his wasted life and love and for how lost he felt right now.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stefan took off his jacket and hung it on the hanger as he walked into the lounge numb. Damon still wasn't home. He sat down in front of the fire that he had started kindling earlier and sighed, rubbing his eyes. He'd told Elena it was over. When he'd seen her, the blood, the pain and confusion…it had finally been the straw that broke the donkeys' back. Being in his world would only get her killed. Katherine had done this to hurt him. He was the cause. She'd been a lot calmer and more rational than he'd thought she would be. The truth was that she understood that loving him put her and those she loved in danger too and so they had reached an impasse.

On his way home he'd looked out for Damon, hoping he'd be home when he got back. He needed to talk to him. Everything Katherine had said had clearly affected him and he was so afraid that it would make Damon pull away from him. He needed him. He wanted him. He decided to stay at the fireplace all night if he had to to avoid missing him. To think, they should all be celebrating, but it didn't feel like a time to celebrate. Katherine was so smart she always managed to bring pain and tragedy to any victory on their part, even when they had technically won.

Damon came home hours later looking weary and tired too and Stefan stood up and looked to him.

"Is she…?"

"In the tomb. All sealed up tight." He gave a half smile and fidgeted with his coat as Stefan watched.

"Damon…"

"I know."

"She was trying to…"

"I know."

"No but Damon, I…"

"Stefan." Damon sighed and stopped him in his tracks. "I'm tired." Damon looked down at the ground the whole time and Stefan clenched his jaw. Damon didn't want to talk. He walked around him and headed for the kitchen as Stefan stood rooted to the spot. Damon was grabbing some blood bags from the fridge and looking for his favourite glass. He'd brought the human blood down earlier, out of the safe now that he trusted Stefan's ability to control himself. He tinkered around looking for his glass sighing in frustration when Stefan walked in and handed it to him, warm from the microwave just 5 minutes before, waiting for him. He looked at him in surprise and gratitude as he took it from him and felt its warmth. He bit his lip and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry." He said, his voice straining a little.

"For what?" Stefan asked. Damon was apologising for something? Hang out the banners!

"We should never have done it. I should have locked you up like you wanted. It was a mistake." Damon said and Stefan felt like he'd been shot in the chest.

"Why?" Stefan croaked and Damon looked him in the eye briefly.

"I wanted to make you dependant. Thought I could take her from you if you were too weak." Damon confessed.

"No." Stefan said in disbelief. He was lying, he cared that's why he'd done it. "You're my brother, you were trying to look after me."

"Wake up Stefan, I look after myself. That's all I care about. You're kidding yourself if you think anything different." Damon grumbled and pushed past him heading towards his room. Stefan followed him. He wasn't going to let him run anymore.

"You coward." He growled and Damon looked back in surprise. "You get on at me about my denial about what we are, what we need and there you are pretending. You're the great pretender! It's all you do!"

"I am what I am Stefan. I don't try to be something I'm not like you do!" Damon hit back.

"I'm so fucking tired of fighting with you." Stefan sighed.

"Are we fighting? I thought you were writing me a sonnet brother." Damon said sarcastically.

"I left Elena, for good."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Why?"

"Because I don't belong in her world. I'm not human."

"And the tidal wave finally comes crashing down!" Damon snorted and Stefan clenched his jaw.

"I don't know exactly what's happening between us…"

"Sex. That's what's been happening Stefan." Damon said bluntly. "I love to fuck and you've been a great sport about it too, but I'm bored now. I got what I needed from you today." Damon drank his blood down in a few gulps and wiped his mouth on his arm as Stefan held his breath.

"Damon don't do this." Stefan croaked.

"What?"

"I need you."

"Talk about a broken record. Why is it always my responsibility? I wasted half of our human life raising you, can't I get some damn time to myself?!" He shouted and Stefan inhaled at the enormity of Damon's backlash. He was speechless. Damon sat his glass down on a nearby bookshelf and headed up to his room, slamming the door. Stefan walked slowly back into the kitchen and sat down. He felt numb, numb was good. Numb meant he wouldn't panic and do something stupid. Damon would come around, he had needs just like Stefan did. They'd become almost co-dependant on each other lately – one couldn't deal without the other. Everything would be ok. Everything would be ok.

Stefan stayed in the kitchen for a while trying to calm his racing heart before he went up the stairs to bed. He could hear Damon moving around as he passed his door. He made it to the safety of his room and curled in on himself under his blankets. Not so long ago he'd lain here with Damon and had one of the most freeing experiences of his life. Damon had shown him that he could be himself without fear and it had changed everything. Damon had changed him. Now it was probably over because Damon was retreating into his head. Katherine's words had speared him, Stefan had watched it happen, helpless to stop it. She'd stripped him down bare.

Stefan hugged himself and tried to sleep, tried to picture tomorrow being better. Katherine was in the tomb now where she belonged. Elena was no longer in danger and the moonstone was locked away out of sight and retrieval. They could all breathe again and heal from the rupture Katherine had been in their lives. As he lay there unmoving he heard Damon leave his room and approach. He sat up listening in anticipation as Damon paused at his door. Slowly Damon turned the handle and stepped in. He was bare chested and glorious and Stefan let his eyes roam unrestrained for a change.

"You said if I needed you…" Damon mumbled and Stefan sighed.

"I thought you were bored."

"Take as much blood as you want." Damon offered and Stefan felt hurt and annoyed. What did Damon think he was, some prostitute? It hadn't felt like that lately and yet here it was, just like after their first night together.

"I don't want any." He said calmly and Damon clenched his jaw.

"Fine." He said tightly and turned to leave. Stefan's heart jumped into his mouth in panic.

"I just want you." He said and Damon turned around quizzically. "Please, I need this." Stefan sighed and Damon chewed his lip nervously.

"Fine." He said and began to remove his trousers. Stefan did the same and lifted the blankets for Damon to climb in too. Damon climbed in and lay on top of him as they both looked at each other.

"I don't love you Stefan. This is just…"

"I know." Stefan cooed and Damon leaned in and began to kiss him slowly. Stefan slid his arms around his back and opened his legs to slide Damon in between his thighs. He stroked Damon's back tenderly and Damon breathed peacefully as he used his tongue to make Stefan feel aroused. God could he kiss. Stefan was tilting up into his erection before he knew it and brought his legs up around Damon's back as Damon continued to kiss him and stroke his sides. He seemed in no rush for a change and Stefan melted in his arms and moaned softly. This was exactly what he needed, gentleness, love…

"Uh…" He moaned into Damon's mouth and Damon ran his hands down to his bottom and caressed him.

"Did you bring it?" Stefan whispered huskily and Damon shook his head as he kissed around his neck. Damon hadn't brought the lube. It would probably hurt again. Stefan tensed a little at the thought and Damon lifted his head from his neck.

"I won't hurt you." He assured and Stefan nodded. Damon kissed his way down his chest, taking his time like he never had before, worshipping Stefan's skin and sucking on his nipples while Stefan moaned and squirmed. It felt different from the other times. There was no rush of adrenaline or feeding. It felt like they were making love almost, but Stefan couldn't think like that – Damon didn't feel that way about him.

"Uhhh, uhh…" Stefan moaned and Damon hummed as he kissed over his stomach and stroked his member slowly. Damon was going to suck again? Stefan made a small whimper of need and Damon chuckled against his skin and obliged, taking him into his mouth slowly. Stefan gasped and tried not to grab his head, instead stretching his arms behind him and grabbing his headboard for support.

"Damon, Damon…" He moaned and Damon stroked his bottom as he massaged him with his mouth and tongue. He let out a high pitched moan and climaxed down Damon's throat blissfully. He panted and relaxed into the mattress as Damon kissed around his hip bones and stroked his fingertips down his legs and up his inner thighs gently. Every cell on Stefan's body reacted and sent him shivers. He closed his eyes and breathed, enjoying Damon's calmness and gentleness.

"I want to suck you." He whispered, expecting Damon to refuse as he normally did but this time Damon stayed quiet. He opened his eyes and Damon slid back up to his face to kiss him. They held each other and kissed for a while, stroking skin and shivering from the pleasure of that simple touch. Damon was hard against his thigh and he reached between them and stroked it gently as Damon inhaled and moaned breathlessly into his mouth. Stefan bit Damon's lower lip and rolled them over gently. Damon didn't fight. Stefan kissed him again and stroked his hands down Damon's chest towards his groin. Damon closed his eyes and tilted his head back in invitation, but Stefan didn't want blood, he wanted Damon. He lowered his lips to Damon's chest as he lay small kisses over it, covering every spot of skin as Damon sighed in relaxation. Damon's nipples were erect as he passed them and he blew his breath over them and bit them gently, pulling as Damon moaned.

He lowered himself gradually to Damon's pelvis and placed a kiss on his manhood. It flexed upwards in response and he took it into his mouth and sucked. Damon moaned a sound that was almost pain but Stefan continued, sucking and worshipping him in reverence. He got so excited by Damon's moaning he began to pump himself. He was hard again and ready and he knew what he wanted. Damon climaxed into his mouth in a flood again and Stefan relaxed as it happened. This could get easier with practise. He kissed Damon's soft member and licked around his groin, making Damon moan in little cries as his sensitivity endured. Stefan decided to take the plunge and licked down to Damon's entrance. Normally something like this would have grossed him out but he so badly wanted him, it felt completely natural. Damon gasped as he traced around the entrance and tensed a little.

"Stefan.." Damon said sounding nervous and Stefan pulled his head up to look at his face. "Don't."

"Why?" Stefan whispered and Damon looked torn. "I won't hurt you, please Damon I want you so much." Stefan beseeched and Damon bit his lip. Why was Damon so resistant?

"Hmmmm." Damon struggled and Stefan moved up to his face and kissed his neck, cupping his face tenderly.

"I want you." He whispered and Damon inhaled sharply. "Has someone hurt you?" Stefan asked in concern and Damon shook his head. "Then why?"

Damon sighed and Stefan leaned back into his neck and bit down, sucking a little to make Damon relax more and lean into him breathing. He kissed back up to his jaw and around his mouth as Damon sighed and closed his eyes.

"Why?" He whispered again gently and huskily and Damon's mouth fell open in pleasure as he bit into his chest and drank a mouthful.

"I don't want…" Damon mumbled, his eyes rolling and Stefan stroked his sides and licked his wound. "I'll want…"

"What?" He whispered in his ear and Damon tilted his head right back and Stefan kissed his throat and stroked his fingers around to his entrance.

"I'll want you too much.." Damon drooled and breathed and Stefan looked at his face in wonder.

"Then let me have you."

"I can't." Damon opened his eyes hazily. "I'll need you."

"You can have me whenever you want."

Damon grimaced so Stefan bit into his neck again to pacify him. Stefan drank a little more and then kissed down his chest again. Damon obviously wanted this, he was just scared and holding back. Damon writhed under him as he kissed over his manhood and descended to his entrance again, inserting his tongue. Damon gasped and clenched his muscles and Stefan inserted his fingers slowly with care. He leaned up to his face again.

"Please let me inside. I want you."

"Uhhh…"

"You can do whatever you want to me afterwards, you can take me as roughly as you want. You can drain me, fuck me, ruin me…just please let me have you." Stefan whispered and Damon moaned and pulled him down for a kiss. Stefan slid his fingers in as far as they would go and stilled as Damon took over his mouth.

"Hmmmn!" Damon moaned and Stefan caressed him gently. Stefan went to move his fingers and stroke his sensitive spot when Damon tensed and grunted around him. He didn't want this. Stefan pulled away from his mouth and looked down at his face.

"Don't you want this?"

"No." Damon said with a pained expression and Stefan hid his disappointment with all of his might. He straightened his expression and removed his fingers completely. Damon seemed to visibly relax. He lay his head in at Damon's shoulder and neck and hugged him to him. Damon's heartbeat slowed and he relaxed completely. Stefan felt fit to burst but he didn't want to push this. He closed his eyes and tried to will his erection away, but he couldn't steer his thoughts away from what Katherine had said. She had said she had stimulated Damon's prostate when he'd been human, so he must have let her insert things inside of him back then. Human Damon had been so trusting of her, so innocent but Damon found trust almost impossible these days – he trusted only himself, even now. Stefan lay gentle kisses around his throat and neck lovingly and Damon rolled them onto their sides.

Stefan was still hard and brushed against Damon's now relieved manhood as they held each other. Stefan squeezed his eyes closed at the contact with his flesh and when he opened them again Damon was watching him with a strange expression.

"What?"

"You don't want any more blood?" Damon asked and Stefan shook his head.

"You've given me all I need today." Damon seemed to deflate a little, as though his purpose here was fulfilled and he should leave. Stefan held him tightly against him. "Stay with me tonight."

"I need to sleep."

"Sleep here, please." Stefan implored and leaned in kissing him gently, trying to motivate him to stay. "I want to wake up next to you."

"Stefan this isn't…"

"I know. I know. It's just sex for you." Stefan confirmed and stroked the side of his face. Damon gulped. By Stefan's unconscious admission, this was just sex for Damon but not for him. "Please trust me." Stefan added in a whisper and Damon closed his eyes. Stefan kissed him again and could feel his resistance fade. They settled around each other comfortably and fell into a deep sleep.

As he began to awake the next day Stefan felt warm arms hold him and stroke his back and he hummed and leaned in to kiss his bed fellow.

"Damon…" He mumbled and the stroking paused for a second and then continued. Stefan opened his eyes to see Damon's glowing blue ones watching him. He smiled and pulled him into him closer, kissing his lips. "You stayed."

He breathed happily and Damon gave him a small smile in return. Damon seemed different, quiet. Stefan hummed and stroked his hand down his side and cupped his bottom gently. Damon surrender his mouth to Stefan for a change and Stefan rolled them over so Damon was beneath him. They kissed warmly, rubbing their noses together and Stefan felt his arousal begin. Damon was aroused too and they moved against each other, rubbing their erections together. Then Stefan noticed some dampness and he pulled away from Damon's mouth and looked down, thinking one of them was bleeding, when Damon held him tight. He looked at him quizzically and Damon's expression tightened. He looked nervous. He opened his legs wide and brought them up around Stefan's back, urging Stefan forward. Stefan stared in disbelief and then he realised what the feeling of moisture was. He slipped his hand down between their bodies and traced Damon's entrance, pulling his fingers back and rubbing them together.

He looked to Damon's face again. Damon had left while he'd been asleep, retrieved the lube from his room and had prepared himself in wait for Stefan rousing. He couldn't believe it. He gave a small smile of disbelief and Damon rocked his hips invitingly. Stefan captured his mouth passionately and held him. Damon tilted up into him.

"Are you sure?" Stefan panted in excitement and Damon nodded. He was so quiet, Stefan couldn't recall ever seeing him this way. He reached down and inserted his fingers inside. He was ready for him. He gave another short laugh of excitement and reached down to insert himself.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

His hands shook from nerves which took him by surprise. Damon was letting him enter him, it was actually happening. He stroked his member a few times to calm himself and placed the head of his manhood against Damon's entrance. It slipped inside easily and Stefan looked to Damon's face. Damon closed his eyes and relaxed. He sat up on his knees and pushed in gradually, gently until he was fully inside. He sighed in bliss. He'd never penetrated anyone here before, it was so different from being with a woman. It was tighter and not quite as warm but he could feel every breath Damon was taking as Damon's insides contracted around him. He let out a small moan of appreciation and Damon gave a small smile, keeping his eyes closed.

Stefan nestled himself comfortably between Damon's legs and leaned into him, placing his hands on either side of his torso so that he could kiss him. It felt so right, so natural to be like this. They'd come so far in such a short time, so much had changed between them. He moved in and out slowly, moaning as quietly as he could at how wonderful the tightness surrounding him was. He bit his lip and exhaled and Damon fluttered his eyes open. Damon parted his lips and blinked every time Stefan pushed back inside, but still he remained silent. Stefan cupped his face and kissed him, picking up pace a little as his body pushed him to chase his orgasm. Damon made a small moan and exhaled.

Stefan meant to ask him what he wanted, how he wanted this to be but he couldn't form the words as he rocked into him, breathing loudly and clutching the sheets under Damon tightly with his fingers. He couldn't talk, it just felt too incredible. Damon's cheeks began to tint and he opened his mouth as they looked into each other's eyes deeply.

"God, Damon…" Stefan whispered.

Damon raised his legs and wrapped them around Stefan's back, drawing him in deeper and Stefan closed his eyes and rocked in deeper and faster. Both of them began to breathe in sharp bursts and it turned Stefan on so much more listening to Damon's obvious signs of enjoyment. Damon whined and tilted his head back with every thrust. Sweat was beginning to trickle down Damon's neck and throat as their bodies grew hotter and moved together. Stefan couldn't hold him close enough, he grabbed at Damon's body and held him as close as possible and Damon began to shake and gasp. It wouldn't take much to make him climax. Stefan began to speed up and pull Damon's hips in for each thrust and Damon started to pant and moan in warning of the oncoming eruption. Stefan felt glorious and powerful for the first time in a long time. He wanted to make this moment last as long as possible, so he concentrated on controlling his urge to release. He didn't want to for a while. He wanted to show Damon just how much he liked being inside of him. Maybe Damon would let him do this again if he enjoyed this enough.

Damon began to lose his mind as he cried in higher pitches and held Stefan's hips squeezing them. The urge to drink from him came to mind and Stefan's veins protruded but oddly he didn't want to follow through. He didn't feel like he needed to yet. He wanted to pleasure Damon with his body first and then maybe later he would use the same skills Damon had used on him. Right now he wanted to make Damon cry with his manhood alone.

Damon opened his eyes and looked at Stefan desperately, trying to see how near Stefan was to climaxing so that he could release too. Sweat continued to roll from their bodies now and Stefan's legs were sticking to the sheets beneath them. Damon's face and chest were flushed from desire and it made him appear drunk and high at the same time. Stefan held his legs and began to pound into him, snapping his hips forward and smiling as Damon shouted and began to breathe as though he was struggling for air. It made Stefan even more aroused. He leaned down to Damon's mouth and Damon opened his lips for him to kiss and let his tongue inside. Stefan licked over his bottom lip and hovered over his mouth teasing and Damon grimaced and tilted his mouth upwards desperately.

"Come for me." Stefan whispered and Damon brought both arms up and held him flush to him. He could see Damon wanted to but he was holding back because Stefan wasn't ready to. They'd been out of sync this whole time, not quite pleasuring each other together and now Stefan wanted to learn this rhythm properly. He wanted to know what Damon's likes and limits were. He very lightly ran his finger tips up the outside of Damon's thighs and Damon made a purring sound. He was ready to blow, so Stefan moved to his ear breathily and made a humming sound so carnal and full of desire Damon's heart rate shot up and he couldn't help himself.

"Uuhhh,uuuhhh….uhh!" He cried, shouting so loudly that Stefan's ears wrang a little. Damon's body sagged beneath him and Stefan slowed gradually and stopped moving, still holding Damon's legs around him. Damon was quiet again and Stefan moved his head away from his neck and looked down at his face. He was breathing rapidly and had his eyes closed. Stefan placed butterfly kisses around his cheeks, nose and mouth and Damon sighed but was too sated to reciprocate.

"You're so amazing." Stefan whispered, running his hands up from Damon's legs to under his back and the side of his face. Damon flickered his eyes open and looked at him dazed. Stefan trailed his fingers down the side of Damon's face lightly, tracing his cheekbone and running his finger along Damon's full lips in awe. "I want you."

Damon sighed and tried to smile when Stefan flexed his hips inside of him, testing his own restraint as the desire to take him again began to push at him. Damon's mouth fell open a little at the sensation and he pulled Stefan down for a kiss again. Stefan wrapped his arms around him and pulled him upwards until Damon was sitting against the headboard. He opened his legs wide and cupped under his bottom so that he could lift his hips slightly and tilt him back a little. Damon watched him, his cheeks scarlet and Stefan took Damon's hands and intertwined their fingers, resting them down on the mattress and holding them there. He pulled out half way and plunged back into him again and Damon gasped at the movement. Stefan was gentle, despite the depth and he began to thrust. Damon had demonstrated his abilities and desire to fuck but Stefan had never really done that. When Stefan shared his body it was always to make love and he was going to do just that – consequences be damned. This was what he knew and he was going to show it. Damon seemed to have no complaints as he began to moan again and pant. Stefan knew that he would still be feeling the effects of his first orgasm so everything would be heightened. He badly wanted to suck him too but he was enjoying being inside too much. He took Damon's manhood in hand and began to stroke it, rolling his thumb around the opening and Damon yielded his whole body to the sensation.

"I'm going to take you in my mouth later." Stefan whispered and Damon groaned in desire. His eyes were clouding from the pleasure and Stefan shuddered as he felt his own orgasm approach. He wanted it badly, but this moment was so special, he wanted this to be about Damon. He moaned and panted rapidly and Damon began to let go excitedly. Stefan knew he could have orgasms from being penetrated – he'd had them with Damon, but he also knew how much Damon's manhood needed to release too. He leaned in conquering Damon's mouth passionately until he couldn't hold back any longer then he pulled out of him completely and breathed. Damon looked at him confused and desperate and Stefan pulled him down flat again and bit into his chest, arching him upwards. Damon's manhood leaked fluid and Stefan knew what he wanted to do. As he rolled his thumb over the opening, he took it and began to stroke it firmly, while he traced his other hand around to Damon's entrance and inserted his fingers inside deep as they would go. Damon began to shake and cry loudly as Stefan pumped his entrance and manhood while feeding at the same time, until Damon exploded in his hand.

Stefan gently withdrew his fingers and licked over Damon's chest slowly, leisurely collecting the blood there. His own body was bursting and he knew he would hurt if he didn't release. Damon looked utterly exhausted and spent though, so he reached down and began to pump himself. Damon opened his eyes and tried to reach for him to help but Stefan shook his head and continued to pump. It wouldn't take long. Damon beckoned him to lean in and kiss him and he did so still moving his manhood between his fingers and panting as it approached. He lay his face into Damon's neck and Damon stroked his back, sliding down to cup his bottom. Stefan began to climax and Damon inserted his fingers swiftly, taking him by surprise as he gasped loudly, distracted from his climax for a second.

Damon bent his fingers inside and flexed them backwards and forwards as Stefan pumped and Stefan mewled and gave into the climax utterly, spilling seed between them as he struggled to breathe. Damon kept pushing his fingers in and out throughout and Stefan jolted and spilled seed for a second time, amazed that it had happened again. They lay crumpled and breathing for a while.

Damon snoozed peacefully and Stefan held him, breathing in his scent and replaying it in his head over and over. He felt sticky and hot and hungry. He rubbed his nose along Damon's artery in his neck and sighed. He could feed now if he wanted, but then it would wake Damon. He lifted his head to gaze at him. How could Damon look so different from how he had always looked? Damon had always been attractive but also cocky, irritating, infuriating, terrifying…male, but since they started being intimate Stefan had started to notice other things too. Damon's features were so soft, smooth and delicate. His lips were red and enticing, his tongue skilled and soft. Damon's skin had always looked like marble but it felt like silk too and his eyes…there were no words for the colours they could reflect or become. Damon's eyes were blue, but then they could also be grey, clear and luminous too. Stefan wanted to stare into them forever.

"I love you." He whispered softly, brushing his fingers across Damon's lips. It was true, he felt it with certainty. Of course he couldn't in reality. In their little bubble he could feel this way but in reality Damon was his brother. It could never be real. Damon just liked the sex. That was it. Damon's eyes flickered and he made a small moan, barely audible.

"You're the cherry on the cake." Stefan whispered and smiled to himself as he leaned in and placed a small soft kiss on his lips. Damon moaned a little in the back of his throat again and kissed him back, but Stefan could see his eyelids were still flickering. He was dreaming. What was he dreaming about, he wondered? Stefan's stomach rumbled and he kissed a small patch of hairless skin on Damon's chest, smelling the blood underneath. Damon stirred. Stefan looked to his face and Damon opened his eyes a tiny crack, enough for Stefan to take in their glowing luminous colour. They were almost turquoise right now and he gazed at them in wonder. How could someone's eyes be that colour? Had they always been like that and he hadn't noticed? Damon was famous for his blue eyes when they were young human men, but they weren't just blue – they glowed as though he was radioactive. It was so distracting that he didn't realise Damon was speaking to him.

"Stefan?"

"Hmmm?"

"Take some." Damon was offering and Stefan blinked and realised his fangs were out, his veins protruding. Damon knew he was hungry. He smiled and licked over the patch on his chest again before biting in as carefully as he could and drinking. He stroked Damon's skin comfortingly as he always did when feeding and Damon sighed. They were both so lost in each other, they began to pant again. Would Damon let him be inside again? Did he want to? As he drank and caressed him he realised that being underneath was just as good, with Damon throwing him around and teasing him. No matter how they did this, it was always amazing. Damon became hard and aroused against him and Stefan growled as Damon gasped and tilted into him.

"Stefan…" Damon whined and tried to push his shoulders back a little. Stefan hummed and made another bite and Damon moaned and pushed on his shoulders again. "Control…it.."

Stefan pulled up in surprise, his fangs aching and Damon breathed shakily.

"Control it." He whispered again and Stefan frowned and groaned. He wanted more. Not just of Damon's blood, he wanted more of everything – all of him. He felt as though he could survive on Damon alone now – feeding on him and taking him to bed. It would be glorious, he wouldn't need anything else. He could be happy, satisfied and not have to feel restricted or fearful of losing control.

"Please Damon…" He whispered and Damon shook his head slowly. "Please, take _me_ then…I need you inside…" Stefan whispered kissing up his neck as Damon fought desire. "Hmm eat me, have me. Please I don't want to stop."

"Uhh!" Damon moaned as Stefan bit into his neck and drank. "Stefan control it.." Damon sounded weak but Stefan was sure he still wanted him, he was just trying to teach him restraint. They didn't need to stop themselves anymore though, they had each other now finally. Stefan reached down to stroke Damon's manhood when he realised he wasn't hard anymore.

"Stefan you're hurting me." Damon gasped and he stopped immediately and cupped Damon's face in concern. Damon closed his eyes, breathing and Stefan sat up worried.

"I'm sorry, Damon are you ok?"

"Control…" Damon grunted and Stefan nodded.

"Ok, I know. I know." Stefan cooed and bit into his wrist to feed him. "I never want to hurt you." He stroked Damon's hair away from his forehead as he drank. He concentrated on his body's response as Damon pulled his essence from him. It was making him want to spread Damon's legs and take him again but Damon didn't seem to want that right now. He focussed on controlling himself like he had earlier. Damon released his wrist and looked up at him.

"Good." He said sounding a little better and Stefan nodded and gave him a tight smile.

"I never want to hurt you again." Stefan repeated and stroked Damon's face. Damon sighed and reached for his hand, holding it to his cheek. "What did you mean earlier when you said you didn't want me inside because you would need me?" He asked gently and Damon's eyes clouded a little.

"It was nothing. I just like being on top." Damon's tone lacked any conviction and Stefan leaned down and kissed him.

"I gathered that." Stefan chuckled quietly and lay down facing him, stroking his thumb over Damon's lip. "Want to try the truth now?" He raised his eyebrow and Damon smirked and shook his head.

"Sorry, I meant to say that it's because I'd fall madly in love with you and weep at your feet." Damon joked, not as harshly as he normally did when he felt cornered but not lightly either. Stefan bit his lip.

"I want to understand."

"Why?" Damon frowned seriously.

"Because I want you and I need to know how to make this happen again." Damon's eyes widened and he paled. Why did he seem so scared? Stefan reached for him and pulled him closer, kissing his cheeks and his mouth softly.

"It's me." Stefan whispered encouragingly and Damon moved into his kisses, enjoying them. "Tell me."

"I can't love you Stefan." Damon whispered back pained and Stefan held his face. "I can't really love anyone."

"You know that's not true. You saved me. You've saved me so many times because you…"

"I don't have anything to offer you Stefan." Damon said seriously, cutting Stefan off. "I'm a pretty shell with nothing inside. You want to climb inside me and be disappointed at what you find?"

Stefan sat up frowning and feeling his chest ache and Damon looked sad for him, for his pained expression.

"There was nothing disappointing about being inside of you. I've never felt so alive. You make me feel alive." Stefan said, a lump growing in his throat as Damon looked down to the sheets and began to pick at them with his fingers.

"Trust me." Stefan whispered and Damon looked at him. _I think I love you. You're my brother but I don't care._ Stefan bit his lip to avoid saying the words out loud. They were getting louder in his head. Damon looked off into the distance and seemed to daydream and Stefan began to calm himself. He needed to control it or he'd frighten him away. He lay back down and they stared at each other for a long moment, neither speaking as they studied every wrinkle or hair on each other's face.

"All I can think about is wanting to make you feel good." Stefan confessed and Damon smiled.

"That's the epitome of you."

"Can I go inside you again?" Stefan asked and Damon frowned and sighed.

"No." Damon said croakily. Stefan blushed and picked at the sheet with his fingertips.

"But it doesn't mean we can't have some fun." Damon smiled and Stefan's spirits lifted a little. "First we need to shower and then we need some bourbon and my ipod."

Stefan smiled widely as Damon sat up and moved from the bed towards the shower. Stefan quickly followed and tried to get in with him when Damon shook a finger at him.

"Bourbon and music. You'll distract me too much if you come in here." Stefan huffed a little, watching the water roll down Damon's chest. He wanted to touch him, wash him even. Damon raised an eyebrow and tilted his head in the direction of his room and Stefan gave an exasperated sigh and headed out in search of Damon's requests. Damon was such a tease. He clambered around checking for his iPod when he found a bottle of bourbon hidden in his underwear drawer. He shook his head and laughed. Only Damon would do something like that.

Once he'd grabbed the iPod, bourbon and some more blood for Damon, he headed back in, disappointed to see that Damon was showered and in a towel by now. He grumbled and Damon turned and laughed.

"I've been surgically attached to you all night and day Stefan."

"Why not make it all tonight too?"

"Because I think you need some perspective. You broke up with Elena." Damon reminded him in a gentler voice and Stefan's expression tightened as he tried to figure out why Damon was killing the mood.

"Today is about me and you. I don't want to talk about anything else. I don't want to talk." Stefan said determined and sat the bourbon down. Damon sighed and folded his arms. "Just give me this, please. I feel happy." Damon bit his lip and unfolded his arms again walking towards him. Stefan reached out to stroke his arms and Damon gave him a chaste kiss on the lips, before grabbing the bourbon at his side. As he pulled his face away he leaned his forehead against Stefan's for a second.

"You smell awful." He jested and Stefan chuckled and cupped his face, relieved that Damon wasn't shutting him out again. "You're not getting into my bed like that."

Stefan blushed in desire.

"Is that an invitation?"

"It's non optional." Damon growled and Stefan vibrated. "I'll give you as much distraction as you need."

Stefan felt his veins surface and Damon chuckled and pushed him towards the shower. He jumped in and began to wash himself down as quickly as he could while Damon pottered around selecting music. This felt almost normal domestic behaviour. Once he was satisfied that he was clean, he turned the shower off and grabbed a towel, eagerly heading back to his room. Damon was gone. He felt himself fearful for a second until he noticed the bourbon sitting on the table. Damon wouldn't skip out and leave the bourbon – not in a million years.

Damon walked back in casually, pressing play on his iPod to send music spewing out of the speakers. He sat it in its cradle and the tell tale tones of Depeche Mode filled the room. Stefan dressed in a pair of jeans only and pulled the dressings from the bed, wrinkling his nose at such obvious evidence of their passionate night and day. Damon chuckled at his expression and sat down to watch him. Stefan grabbed the soiled sheets and covers and pushed them into his hamper for later. Stefan turned back to him and reached out for the bourbon, taking a few gulps and sighing as it burned its way down his throat.

It didn't take long before the alcohol took effect and they were dancing around and kissing, slightly inebriated. Rock music continued to blare as they let themselves go and relaxed. Music was so relieving and the bourbon helped soothe Stefan's insecurities away as Damon laughed and blurred around the room, showing off his best moves.

"God I miss the 70s!" Stefan laughed as Damon threw himself down on the bed with a thud, arms spread out like an angel. "Where were you?"

"Paris. I taught Jim Morrison how to smoulder." Damon grinned and Stefan shook his head.

"Yeah right!"

"There's more to me than meets the eye brother." Damon replied innocently and folded his arms behind his head. Stefan pulled his ankles abruptly and he yelled as he was pulled off of the bed and onto the floor. Stefan laughed victorious and Damon got to his feet and grabbed him around his waist mock growling. It was so good to laugh, to see Stefan laugh in happiness and for a moment he forgot every worry he had in his head. He moved his hands down to Stefan's bottom and squeezed him as Stefan tilted into him.

"What shall we do now?" He whispered huskily and Stefan's veins protruded.

"Ruin me." Stefan grinned drunk and happy and Damon bit his lip playfully and hummed. Stefan pulled his mouth away and dove into Damon's neck biting. Damon yelped in surprise and Stefan swallowed a mouthful and pulled back mischievously, stepping back from him and grinning.

"Two can play that game." Damon grinned and moved towards him but Stefan blurred across the room and did a little dance to the chorus of the music playing as Damon laughed and shook his head. "You're drunk!"

"I'm fucking happy!" Stefan shouted in glee and looked up to the ceiling as though he was informing the universe. Damon blurred towards him and knocked him over onto the floor as they began to wrestle and laugh, Damon making small bites around his neck and shoulder. Stefan kicked him off of him and blurred out of the room, daring him to follow and Damon got to his feet and grabbed the bourbon as he headed out to find him.


	15. Chapter 15

Hey guys thanks for the lovely reviews. I keep describing Damon's eyes because Ian's really are like I'm describing. Imagine my amazement when he was talking to me and I couldn't look anywhere but at them. Heeheee.

Chapter 15 TDT

They smashed around for a little while, drunk, happy and laughing as they playfully fought and fed from each other. It felt good to not have to worry. It seemed that that was all they did since they had come back here. Every new day in Mystic Falls seemed to bring disaster or heartache with it so for now they were both content to remain in their bubble for a little while longer. Neither broached the topic of what this meant for their relationship as brothers who were also lovers.

Stefan fell onto the sofa dramatically as Damon picked up a table they had knocked over in their wrestling. The bourbon was all gone now and Stefan pouted as he tried to pour the last drop into his glass.

"We need more booze."

"Huh?" Damon hiccupped and Stefan laughed and waved the empty bottle at him.

"Any more bottles in your underwear drawer?" Stefan grinned teasing and Damon flashed him a toothy grin and put his hands on his hips.

"There's a lot of things in my underwear drawer. Wanna go see?" He raised an eyebrow and Stefan's veins protruded.

"You're so easy." Damon chuckled.

"Do you me to play hard to get?"

"It's not possible, I'm too hot."

Stefan blushed and laughed but he knew it was true. All night as they had been dancing and touching each other innocently Stefan had been the most turned on he'd ever been. Every patch of skin on Damon's body deserved his attention, deserved to be kissed or bitten. He couldn't contemplate ever feeling any different towards him now, so did that mean he was gay? He gave himself a shake out of it and Damon chuckled and lifted his legs so that he could sit on the end of the sofa and lay his feet across his knee. It felt so couply. He began to stroke his fingertips along Stefan's bare feet and Stefan purred.

"What are you thinking about?" Damon asked.

"You."

"I can tell." Damon smirked and took in Stefan's bulge in his pants getting larger.

"Can't believe how much I want you. Don't know how I didn't notice it before." Stefan closed his eyes and smiled as the tickling continued.

"I know." Damon mused and Stefan opened his eyes. He felt the same?

"Before, you didn't like any other men?" Damon stopped stroking his feet and Stefan pouted. Damon sighed and then continued. He didn't want to put him in a bad mood but they had to know how much of their feelings here were about each other and not just the freedom of feeding and having sex unrestrained.

"One or two but not like this, it's you I want. Not because of your body and what I want to do to you…" Damon said seductively, playfully biting Stefan's big toe and sucking it a little. "It's you."

Stefan sat up and Damon stopped stroking his feet again and turned to him.

"I feel that way too. I don't think I would find another man attractive, it's just you. You are…" Stefan paused trying to think of how to explain himself. "I just love _you_." He let it out and waited for the spell to break as he watched Damon's face. Damon paled a little but didn't frown.

"You know we can only have this because it's a secret Stefan. If people knew…"

"Since when do you care what other people think?" Stefan countered, genuinely surprised.

Damon always did what he wanted regardless of other people's opinions or feelings. What had changed? Damon looked off into the distance as he thought how to respond and Stefan pulled his feet beneath him and leaned forward to cup his face. He kissed him gently and pulled back.

"I don't care." Damon whispered and Stefan kissed him again and straddled him. Damon looked up at him sincerely. "I care what people think of you though. If people knew that we were together, they'd be disgusted. They'd treat you differently. I don't want that for you. You want a life here."

Stefan was flushed with emotion and love. Damon cared and he referred to them as being 'together'. His heart began to pound loudly and Damon gave a small smirk as he heard it speed up.

"You can't do a secret relationship Stefan. It would gnaw at you."

"I love you." Stefan squeezed his shoulders and Damon gulped.

"I feel something too." He whispered barely audible and Stefan almost choked on his own saliva as he inhaled in surprise and happiness. He coughed and Damon chuckled and patted his back, returning to a happier state. Stefan grabbed him and pulled him into an embrace tightly.

"What about Elena?" Ah, the five million dollar question. Damon stroked his back as he waited for Stefan to respond. "You love each other and she's a much better match than I am." Stefan pulled back to look at him.

"She's human, we're the same."

"She's a girl and I'm your brother Stefan." Damon stroked Stefan's hair at his ears.

"I don't want to fight with myself anymore. You can give me so much more."

"This is it Stefan. I don't have anything else." Damon reminded him.

"You care about me, you share your body and blood with me…what more could I want?"

"A future, promises…I'm always going to think of myself first. It's who I am." Damon warned weakly, his resolve fading as Stefan continued to stare at him focussed and sure of his intentions and love for him. He had to do everything he could to talk Stefan out of this, because if let this go much further there would be no way he could turn away from him. Admitting that he felt something for him was painful enough as it was and if he began to believe that he could be allowed to, could have this with him, it would end him if Stefan changed his mind and went back to Elena.

"I've never felt as free, as normal and accepted as I do right now. I feel like I've won the lottery and you were under my nose all of this time. I'll do whatever you need. I'll leave here with you, I'll keep it between us, I'll compel the entire town…I'll tell everyone and not care what they think…"

"Stefan think about this. This is your _life_, you can't go back to it afterwards if they know."

"Afterwards?" Stefan frowned.

"After me."

"There is no after." Stefan said emphatically and Damon leaned his head back against the sofa and sighed. "We don't know what's going to happen. We can't worry about all of things that could go wrong or we'd never do anything. All we can be sure of is how we feel and what we want right now and I want you. I want to spend every day inside of you and kissing you, making up for all the time we've wasted not having this."

Damon closed his eyes and sighed again.

"What do you want?" Stefan asked nervously.

"I want to throw you in my bed and never let you leave." Damon answered and Stefan exhaled in relief. He threw himself on top of him and kissed him passionately, not giving Damon a chance to say anything more as he consumed his mouth. Damon let him have his way, running his hands up Stefan's thighs to his bottom so that he could hold him there. Stefan broke away panting and kissed around his throat as he gyrated his hips into him.

"Let me have you…" He whispered urgently and Damon gave a small moan. Damon held him tight by his bottom and lifted them up, Stefan clasping his legs behind Damon's back and holding him in an embrace and he carried them towards the stairs kissing wildly. Stefan growled in the back of his throat and struggled as they began to ascend the stairs and Damon released him in surprise so that they both tumbled onto the stairs. Stefan took that moment to climb on top of him and pin his arms down.

"Let me inside." He said and Damon whined a little. He unbuttoned Damon's jeans and slid them down as Damon closed his eyes waiting. Stefan pulled his own jeans down and off as quick as he could. He couldn't even wait till they got up to their rooms, he had to have him right here right now. He sucked his fingers and inserted them inside of Damon slowly, stretching them out as he did to make enough room. Damon bit his lip and shivered, watching him intently. They stared at each other throughout the preparation, not speaking. It was strange how quiet Damon was when he was being penetrated. It was so opposite from his composure when he was on top and Stefan couldn't figure out why there was such a change in him. He leaned down and began to kiss him, rolling his tongue against his as he pushed his fingers in as far as they would go and stretched. Damon made a small moan and Stefan pulled his fingers out and pulled Damon's legs around his back and slid inside of him.

Again they were both quiet and gentle as Stefan rocked. The stairs were great for helping support them both in an angle and Stefan was glad to be able to rest his knees on the stairs as the alcohol tired him out much faster than usual. As they breathed and began to feel their bodies let go, Stefan pressed their foreheads together. Damon was breathing in sharp bursts and tilting his head back with every thrust now as sweat rolled down onto his chest. His small moans started to sound almost desperate now as if he couldn't take this much longer and Stefan held him around his back, cushioning him from the carpet beneath them as his skin rubbed and turned a little pink from the friction.

"Uh…" Damon frowned and moaned and it sounded as though he was fighting his release. Stefan cupped his face.

"Let go, it's ok." He breathed and Damon frowned again and tensed. Damon was scared to release? Was it because of their conversation? Stefan slowed and stopped moving and Damon lay panting. "This is what's going to happen…" He whispered, kissing Damon's chest and throat. "I'm going to make love to you tonight and then tomorrow and then the day after that. I'm going to look after you, love you and protect you. I won't stop until someone kills me, even if it's you."

Damon opened his mouth and groaned and Stefan gently turned him over onto his front and moved his knees up so that he was bent over and bracing on the stairs. Stefan inserted himself again and Damon moaned and hung his head. Stefan held his hips and began to thrust, making Damon whine as he adjusted to the sensation from this angle. Stefan leaned over and placed small kisses up his back and pounded as hard and fast as he could go and Damon began to shake and climax, seed spilling from his manhood despite the fact that neither of them had stimulated it. That's how good this must feel for him. Stefan reached under and felt the fluid cover his hands and he smiled in amazement and pumped him a few times to release it all. Damon moaned at the sensation and hyper sensitivity of his manhood and fell forward onto the steps above him and Stefan held under his stomach and thrusted until he exploded inside of him too.

Stefan lay on top of him exhausted, feeling the alcohol swish around in his brain and he began to chuckle. Damon exhaled and began to chuckle too and soon enough they separated and faced each other laughing and holding each other in glee as they tried to calm their racing hearts down. The stairs weren't very comfortable beneath them though and Damon had carpet burns on his back and bottom. Stefan stroked his skin and placed small kisses over the burns and Damon hummed.

"So…what else is in your underwear drawer?" Stefan asked seductively and Damon tried to pull a sultry and seductive face and failed miserably, making them both laugh again. Right now Damon couldn't pull any faces, all he could do was be real and in the moment.

"Wouldn't you like to know." He smiled and Stefan pulled him up onto his feet as they moved up to his room.

Damon's room was mercifully free of any debauchery so far and Stefan eyed the fresh linen on his bed hungrily. Damon's bed was palatial and comfortable. Stefan moved to it pulled the covers aside, pleased in the scent of Damon's skin that floated to his nose as he did so. Damon rattled around in his drawers noisily and left the room as Stefan climbed into the bed and sighed peacefully. He could just sleep here, it was so comfortable. He closed his eyes and smiled to himself. Things were going to be ok, great even. Damon and he were together and they could live out their lives feeding and making love and not having to ever feel guilty or held back by being vampires anymore.

Damon returned to the room with some more bourbon to find Stefan sleeping soundly. He closed the door behind him and sat the bourbon down. He sighed and let himself drink in this sight for a while before something disastrous came charging in and took it from him. Something was bound to go wrong, it always did, especially in Mystic Falls. It was rare for people to be happy for very long here and he had no doubt that they were included in that curse. Stefan seemed so happy, so changed today. He walked over quietly and climbed in beside him, facing him so he could look at him for a while.

He could never have foreseen this happening. When Stefan had attacked and drank from him that first time so many weeks ago, he hadn't known what to make of it. It had become clear just how little control Stefan had over the thirst and he knew that if he had stepped in and tried to help him, that it would have gone very badly. He hadn't intended for things to go this far though. He hadn't realised how much he would feel and grow to want him. It had been the urge to fuck and possess Stefan that had taken over at first but then it had turned into something much more terrifying. He needed him now and that was what he had most feared. He sighed and turned on his back to look at the ceiling.

This wouldn't be permanent. Stefan was caught up in the freedom of it all but that wouldn't last. Once the honeymoon period was over he'd remember all of things about Damon that he hated and couldn't forgive. He'd realise how big a mistake it was to leave Elena. What would happen then? Stefan was empathic enough to know that Damon wouldn't feel any different from how he did now and he wouldn't want to break him by ending it. He would probably go along with it until his feelings became so obvious that they would hate each other. He put his arm over his eyes and sighed sadly. He wanted this but…there was no going back and that was beyond frightening. He wouldn't just lose his lover, he'd lose his brother too. Stefan was all he had. Elena wouldn't be a friend to him if she found out about this and all of the potential friends he might have had, like Liz and Rick would be so revolted by their relationship he couldn't imagine they could reconcile either. Was it worth it just for a little period of happiness now? He felt himself begin to well up inside. The alcohol was aiding a mixture of emotions and he knew it was partial paranoia now. He should sleep and he'd feel better.

Stefan turned towards him sleepily and pulled him to his side to hold him. Stefan hummed and Damon kissed his mouth sweetly.

"Damon…" Stefan mumbled between kisses and Damon held him tighter and kissed down his face, into the crook of his neck as Stefan tilted to allow it, humming. "I love you." Stefan whispered and Damon closed his eyes and lay his cheek against Stefan's shoulder.

"Stop thinking." Stefan whispered and Damon chuckled, amazed at his ability to read him right now. "I know we're both crazy for wanting this, but it won't stop me."

Damon pulled back to look at his face again and Stefan gazed into his eyes.

"How do you make them change colour?"

"Huh?"

"Your eyes." Stefan marvelled and Damon chuckled and shook his head.

"Are you sure want to do this?"

"I've never been surer of anything. You're not backing out are you?" Stefan worried and Damon closed his eyes and sighed. "Because it's too late. I'll tie you down and keep you in here if I have to until you agree." Stefan teased.

"Oh will you now?" Damon smirked and pulled him into him sharply, catching Stefan's breath. They kissed, chuckling again at how ridiculous their decision was. Stefan made a grumbling sound and Damon raised his eyebrows.

"Where's my cherry on the cake? There's no biting happening here."

"It doesn't always have to be that." Damon rubbed his nose around Stefan's and Stefan huffed. He wanted to get lost in the blood fever again even though he knew they'd drank so much they'd both be useless now. He whined and arched his neck up for Damon to bite and Damon obliged, taking just a little and pulling back as he swallowed.

"Damon…" Stefan groaned in need and Damon smiled. They were too spent for any more feeding right now.

"I'll give you your cherry then." He said in defeat and Stefan grinned and flushed, waiting for him to bite again when Damon cleared his throat and became a little nervous. "I love you." He whispered sincerely and Stefan stared at him as though he'd misheard him.

"What?" He croaked and Damon sighed a little happier that he'd admitted it.

"I love you." He said again and Stefan beamed and became speechless. "That's the biggest cherry I can give you." He added and Stefan burst into delighted laughter, making Damon laugh too in relief and wonder.

"That was the gayest, most amazing thing you've ever said!" Stefan laughed and Damon rolled him on top and squeezed him.

"I don't do labels." Damon corrected him.

"Like vampire, stud, bad boy…"

"Good gay, bad guy…they're all the same. Perspective is everything Stef."

"Brother, lover…" Stefan gambled and Damon bit his lip as the sentence hung in the air.

"You and me." Damon said finally and Stefan relaxed a little. "Now stop talking and grab the lube!" Damon chuckled and Stefan grinned and climbed over him to get it.

They were a little more rambunctious in their love making for the rest of the night as they got their second wind. Neither caring how much furniture they tossed aside or made love against. All that mattered was Stefan and Damon.


	16. Chapter 16

Sorry for the hiatus! I am writing a few other ideas down at the moment as well as this one. Lots of people have asked for a sequel to Klamon stuff in 'Power', so I thought I'd give it a shot. It will be dark as hell though so not for the faint hearted. Watch this space! I also aim to finish 'What happens Now' too over the next few weeks so I'll be a busy bunny ;-) Thanks to those you who emailed to check I was ok. It's nice to know I'm missed when I'm not on here. You humble me with your reviews as always! I am your willing servant. There are some readers however whom I cannot reply to as they are posting as guests. Remember if you want me to reply to your comments you have to sign in ;-) I aim to reply to people as much as possible.

This will be a little shorter peeps, just because it felt right to end it where it did. More to follow asap.

Alrighty back to the story….

Chapter 16 TDT

Damon moaned as he awoke to the sensation of Stefan suckling at his neck. His body felt warm and comfortable. He'd never shared this much blood with someone before. He was really starting to like how it made his body feel. The urgency to make love and release was starting to get easier to control now that their sharing was becoming so regular and he was glad of that. It meant he could enjoy the feeding more. He hummed and tilted his neck, bringing his arms around to hold Stefan lovingly. Stefan had slept between his thighs all night, securely tucked into him from their last round of passion. Stefan licked over his neck, sighing happily and lifted his head smiling from the high of it all. Damon opened his eyes and yawned and Stefan traced over his lips with his fingertips gently.

"Oh god." Damon frowned and Stefan raised his eyebrows. "Look at this place." Damon groaned, realising in the harsh light of day just how wrecked the room was. They'd even managed to break one of the posts at the end of the bed when Damon had made Stefan hold onto it as he took him up against it. Stefan sat up looking around and started to chuckle. Damon put his arm over his eyes.

"We need a maid." Damon whispered and Stefan chuckled again.

"An 'after make-out' maid." Stefan offered and Damon grinned.

"Are you hungry?"

"Starving." Damon grumbled and Stefan kissed his chest lightly before getting out of the bed and moving to fetch him some blood. Damon relaxed and stretched out his limbs. He could get used to this. He got up slowly, testing his body first. He hadn't been able to hold back with Stefan after their declarations the previous evening. He'd opened himself up completely for him and now it was a wrestle to see who would be underneath now. He didn't mind now actually. Stefan made love so gently and with such consideration for him, he didn't hurt that badly afterwards. It was always going to be a struggle for him to allow Stefan to be in control at points but if they were together for real now, they'd have to conceded to each other and trust each other.

Damon began the slow process of picking up everything they had knocked over and smashed on the floor. He groaned a little at his movements but it was probably just stiffness left over from having Stefan lie on top of him all night. Stefan came in with a mug full of warm O Positive and kissed his shoulder as he gave it to him. Damon gave him a chaste kiss on the mouth and took the mug gladly. He drank it gratefully, enjoying the taste and sat down on the edge of the bed. Stefan jumped into his shower quickly as Damon daydreamed, remembering all of their activities of late. It took him a few minutes to realise that Stefan was out of the shower and dressing again.

"Stefan?" He called as Stefan left the room in search of clean clothes. He followed him through to his room. Stefan gave him a smile and resumed dressing, trying not to stare too much at how naked Damon still was. Stefan groaned under his breath and turned his back.

"I'll never get out of here if you keep walking around looking like that." He commented and Damon frowned.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going out to hunt."

"Why?"

"Because I need more and you've given me enough. You need to feed and get your strength." Stefan pointed out.

"I'm fine Stefan. I can give you more, just let me have a few bags…"

"No." Stefan said gently and Damon felt a little hurt. Stefan clasped his face between his hands and kissed him. "Your my partner not my blood bag." He assured but Damon still looked unhappy. He leaned in and kissed him a little more deeply and nibbled his ear. "Feed…" He whispered huskily, making Damon's hairs stand on end. Damon's veins protruded and he tilted his neck. Stefan pulled away and shook his head.

"When I get back I'm going to have you again, so you better be fed and watered by then." Stefan promised and Damon's cheeks tinted.

"Maybe I'll have had so much it'll be me who's in charge brother." Damon smirked and Stefan folded his arms and raised his eyebrows.

"I'll look forward to it then." He lifted his jacket and kissed him quickly again as he left the room to head out to hunt.

Damon wandered back into his room grinning and jumped into the shower. He was covered in dried blood from the various feeding Stefan had done. He must look gross. He spent the next few hours making the house presentable again. He liked everything to be in its place and immaculate. He was half way through his third blood bag when he heard Stefan walking back towards the house over the gravel. He grinned wickedly and blurred to his hiding spot. He'd been trying to plan all day how he would pounce and he wanted the element of surprise. If Stefan had been hunting this whole time he would be strong and full of adrenaline – Damon wasn't going to let him win out.

Stefan opened the door and stepped inside removing his jacket and moving to hang it up when Damon jumped on him from the side. Stefan yelled loudly in surprise and Damon grinned as he quickly tied Stefan's hands above his head in a blur. Stefan looked up panting from shock and Damon grinned straddling him as he ripped his shirt open.

"Well what do we have here? Stefan's all tied up. What should I do now?" Damon purred, running his nose along Stefan's throat and down his chest to kiss his lower abdomen.

Stefan tensed, trying to move his hands but he was up for playing. Damon bit into his side and Stefan yelped and groaned in a little pain and Damon drank a little before beginning to unbutton his jeans. Stefan had been hunting for hours and felt strong. He just didn't want Damon to know how strong so he could take him by surprise so he gave little moans and tried to struggle weakly against him. Damon released him from his fly and took him into his mouth, sucking with the intention of getting him fired up but leave him wanting. Damon wanted to drive Stefan to the brink and then keep him there until he exploded.

Stefan moaned and gyrated and made some feeble attempts to break his bonds while Damon watched him struggle and hummed in the back of his throat to make Stefan shudder and become more aroused by the sensation it sent through his manhood. Damon drove him to the point of climax and then pulled his mouth away and stood up casually, walking into the kitchen and turning on the percolator. Stefan panted and smiled to himself. He had a feeling Damon would pull something like this, now that he was just as invested in this relationship as Stefan was, he would struggle not to feel like he had to maintain some sense of control or balance of power. Sex was Damon's weapon of choice and Stefan knew that. Not that Damon would use sex to hurt him – even when he'd been so mad that he fucked Stefan on the carpet by the sofa and hurt him as he entered him, he had been gentle in the end, kissed away the pain and soothed his body afterwards. Damon wouldn't hurt him intentionally. It was comforting to know that.

Damon wandered back through a few minutes later with a half empty blood bag and sat down on the floor beside him casually. Stefan was still swollen and ready - the excitement of what was coming next keeping him stimulated. Stefan moaned a little and gyrated his hips invitingly and Damon hummed as though he was considering what to do.

"Damn I thought I left my favourite glass in here." Damon frowned and looked around and Stefan whined. Damon pretended not to hear and then gave a big sigh and shrugged his shoulders. "Guess you'll have to be my dinner plate then."

He poured some blood onto Stefan's chest and Stefan gasped at the cold temperature. It began to trickle down his white skin slowly and Damon leaned down and ran his tongue over the skin collecting it all. It felt amazing and made Stefan's insides tingle in response.

"Damon…" He whined and Damon ignored him, licking gently over the entire surface of his skin thoroughly. Once the blood was cleared he poured more on and began to lick again and Stefan struggled to hold his composure. His tongue was lapping so gently and making gooseflesh appear underneath his touches. Stefan's nipples became hard and desperate for his attention the longer Damon ignored them. Stefan tilted trying to get Damon to suck at them but Damon deliberately stayed right in the middle of his chest and Stefan groaned in frustration.

"Please…"

"So impatient Stefan. There's loads more to teach you." Damon spoke with his lips against his skin and began to drag his fingertips in a stroking motion over Stefan's groin. Stefan's erection swelled again and he bit his lip. He wanted to play, but he was full of blood and adrenaline from the hunt and he couldn't take much more teasing. He brought his knees up and rested them loosely, forcing Damon to climb over him partially and he waited.

Damon moved up into the crook of his throat and Stefan swung his bound arms down over Damon's back holding him to him tightly. Damon gasped in surprise at the movement and Stefan used his knees to hold his lower half to him as he rolled them over and pinned him down with his body weight. Damon gave a laugh and rolled them back over again and Stefan grinned in challenge. Damon growled lustfully and moved down out of his arm hold, pulling Stefan's jeans off at the same time and Stefan allowed it, pretending to fight with the rope around his wrists and wriggling his legs. Damon growled again and winked at him before lifting his legs upwards to expose his entrance and tracing it with his tongue. Stefan gasped and whined pretending to be weak and unable to fight back and Damon pulled his head up and pulled him along the carpet towards his groin. He was going to to take Stefan right here by just unzipping his jeans. He felt quite turned on by the idea of having Stefan while he was tied up and struggling, it fuelled some fire in him and he smiled widely as Stefan shot him a look of disbelief.

"I should tie you up more often." He purred and Stefan arched and tried to break the bonds again. Damon unzipped himself and pumped his erection a few times, closing his eyes and Stefan whined. He opened his eyes to look at him and make sure his apparent distress wasn't real when suddenly Stefan brought his knees up and kicked him full force in the stomach. He gasped slightly winded and feel onto his back and Stefan ripped his wrists apart and threw himself on top of him. Damon tried to get air back into his lungs and Stefan gathered what was left of the rope and quickly tied Damon's hands together now, holding them above his head and tying them so tight Damon winced and groaned as he caught his breath. Stefan grinned evily and sat up, pumping Damon slowly.

"These…won't hold..me." Damon breathed recovering and moved to burst the binds but Stefan rose up and began to slide down onto his erection.

Damon's mouth fell open in surprise and he stopped fighting as he watched. Stefan filled himself slowly, only showing a little discomfort on his face. He wasn't lubricated enough but he didn't want to wait. He wanted Damon right now. If Damon needed to feel like he still had some dominance, some control, then he would give him this, he would let him because he loved him. Damon needed it, so Stefan wouldn't fight, for as long as it took to make Damon realise that he didn't have to be in control. Being in love fully and freely meant no one had control over the other, physically or emotionally. Stefan understood that but Damon hadn't had enough experience in relationships to appreciate that yet. Stefan could wait. Sex was still mind blowing even when he was being spread open anyway.

Stefan began to move, sliding Damon in and out of his body while Damon watched him, mouth still open.

"I love you." Stefan whispered and Damon's mouth opened further as he sighed. Stefan picked up the pace, making Damon squirm and moan and he smiled in insurmountable happiness. Damon sat up and deepened their connection, bringing his bound arms over Stefan's head this time to hold him around his back to his chest tight. It forced their bodies together and brought their mouths to each others' mercy as Damon whispered words of love back to him. Damon began to thrust up as Stefan moved down and they both panted and moaned in appreciation for the wonders of being able to love each other this way. Damon broke his binds and held him properly, stroking his back with one hand while running his other into Stefan's hair as they kissed and moved. Damon felt so close to his climax that he started to moan and bit his lip and Stefan bit into his neck to feed and speed him along. Damon's moans and rapid thrusting jolted Stefan's mouth a few times and he accidently surrendered some blood to Damon's shoulder and arm as he dribbled. They'd have a bath later on anyway.

"I love you…" Damon moaned desperately and Stefan growled and bit a new wound into his neck as Damon's whole body tensed like a statue. Stefan drank on, happy that Damon had climaxed with such force until he heard an alien sound.

"Oh my god!"

Who was that? Stefan lifted his head sharply at the voice bursting their bubble, to see Elena standing in the doorway, looking horrified and nauseous.

"Elena…" Damon croaked, trying to recover from his arousal and Stefan opened his mouth to speak when some of Damon's blood dripped down his chin. She gasped revolted and covered her mouth as she ran from the house.

"Elena! Elena!" Stefan shouted in fear and immediately removed himself from Damon, standing up. He looked to Damon in panic and Damon stared up at him blankly. He grabbed his jeans and threw them on vamp speed and ran out of the house after her.

Damon remained on the floor numb as he heard Stefan trying to talk to her, to explain but she was disgusted – just as Damon knew all of them would be. The cat was very much out of the bag now and their bubble burst forever. He closed his eyes and let out a forlorn sigh. He'd known he shouldn't have expected to be happy for very long but he'd hoped it would last longer than a few days. Stefan was still trying to explain what was going on outside. It hurt more than he thought it would to listen. He got up stiffly from the floor and zipped himself back in securely, walking up to his room and closing the door. He'd put some candles in here earlier, hoping to have a romantic candlelit bath with Stefan after he ravished him a little, but he guessed that that was definitely not on the cards now. It probably wouldn't ever be again. Stefan still loved her. By his very demonstration of response to her at one of their most intimate moments, he still prioritised her over Damon.

He sat down on his bed numb and empty and listened as Elena's car drove away. He could hear Stefan's panicked breathing and reticence to come back into the house as he paced on the gravel outside, evidently trying to think of what to say to Damon. Damon stood up and clenched his jaw. He couldn't sit here and listen to Stefan babble and explain. He deserved better than that. For the first time in a long time he actually believed that he deserved to be treated with a little more respect than that. He didn't want to feel angry but feeling angry was better than feeling hurt and betrayed. He reached into his wardrobe and grabbed his leather jacket, slinging it on and grabbing his car keys. He marched out of his room and down into the lobby as Stefan came back in the door and stared at him ashen faced and nervous. He noted Damon's attire and tight expression immediately.

"Where are you…"

"Out." Damon said as he walked passed him, reaching for the door handle. Stefan grabbed him.

"Wait, we need to talk about this!" Stefan panicked again and Damon shrugged him off and shot him a look of warning. Stefan paled and removed his hand from him, swallowing.

"Damon I still love you." Stefan croaked. Damon snorted. Why did Stefan make that sound like some kind of consolation rather than a declaration? He pulled the front door open and walked out sternly.

"That's what they all say." He spat as he left swinging the door open enough to bang it against the wall outside as Stefan exhaled in grief and anxiety and watched him walk away to his car and drive off.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17 TDT

"Damon just answer your phone." Stefan beseeched, leaving him his third voicemail of the day. Damon had been incommunicado all day since he'd left angry. Stefan didn't know what to do. How could he fix this if Damon wouldn't talk to him? Hell even if he did, how the hell was Stefan supposed to fix everything? Elena was revolted and said she never wanted to see him again and now Damon…

He tried to write his thoughts down in his journal but he couldn't find the attention span to do so at all. His mind was racing too much. He had to physically do something but what? _Damon please…it was Elena._ _Please I love you both_. He didn't know what to do. He put his head in his hands and leaned on his elbows at his table as he felt sorry for himself. His cell wrang and he grabbed it, his heart racing as he answered.

"Damon?"

"No, it's Jeremy." Stefan frowned. Why was Jeremy calling? Surely not to give him a piece of his mind? He couldn't imagine that Elena would want to tell everyone what Stefan and Damon had been up to when she'd caught them today. It would make her feel embarrassed too.

"Oh, hey…what's up?" Stefan stumbled.

"Is Elena with you? I know you guys are trying to be all discrete and all but you gotta give me some warning when I have to cover for you. Jenna's pissed Elena missed dinner." He explained and Stefan frowned to himself and stuttered.

"We're not…she's not with me. I haven't seen her for hours. Maybe she's with Bonnie or Caroline."

"No, they are all here at the Grill with Matt and I."

"And she's not there?"

"No." A silence fell between them. "Then where is she?" Jeremy asked sounding anxious and worried and Stefan stood up, feeling the hair of the back of his neck prickle. Could she have run into Damon somewhere? Were they together? All sorts of messed up scenarios started to play through his head – maybe Elena would get her own back by sleeping with Damon to get back at him, maybe Damon would try and charm into her pants too to get back at him, maybe Damon had gone to fight with her, maybe…Wait.

Stefan closed his eyes and sighed as he realised how self indulgent he had become. Damon had been so right when he said that sometimes Stefan didn't notice things that he wasn't the centre of. Was he so self obsessed that he'd convince himself that their behaviours all revolved around him?

"Stefan?" Jeremy prompted beginning to sound fearful and he snapped back to attention again.

"Ok, get Bonnie. Maybe she can do a locator spell and find out where she is."

"Ok."

"I'll be there as soon as I can." Stefan said and ended the call. He grabbed his jacket and car keys, pulling out his phone to call Damon then he paused, looking down at the key pad. It was such an instinctive reaction to call his big brother in times of trouble. They'd become such a good team lately, dealing with every problem coming up around them, around Elena. For a second he forgot that Damon wasn't just his partner in crime but his lover too – his lover who was hurt and angry at him right now. He groaned and hyperventilated a little as he realised just how much he needed his brother. If only Damon were two separate people. If only he could just get his brother right now and not have to deal with the other side of their relationship. He had no one else to turn too.

He dialled his number again anyway and held his breath. Perhaps he could appeal to Damon's sense of affection for Elena, or at least the feelings he had had for her until recently. In truth he had no idea how Damon felt about anything these days. They'd spent the last few days in blissful ignorance of the rest of the world and Stefan hadn't allowed them to talk about real life stuff. Stefan had wanted to hide happily in their bubble, had insisted upon it, even though Damon had tried to talk. He should have listened.

Damon's phone wrang and wrang and Stefan deflated and began to descend the stairs quickly. He removed the phone from his ear to end the call when he heard Damon's voice.

"What?!" Damon barked and Stefan hurriedly put the phone to his ear again as his body flushed with adrenaline.

"I need your help." He croaked, trying to find his nerves and get straight to the point. Hopefully if Damon realised this wasn't about them, he would listen and not hang up. Damon gave a mirthless cruel chuckle and Stefan felt his heart break.

"Elena's in trouble." Stefan blurted and he heard Damon slurp. He must be at a bar drinking. _Great_.

"Of course she is." He drolled.

"She's missing. I think something's happened to her."

"Then go on your white horse and save her Stefan." Damon sighed.

"Damon please, I need your help. I'm heading to the Grill to meet Bonnie and the others to see if she can do a spell to track her. Will you help? It's Elena." Stefan said straining to hide how desperate he was and Damon snorted and hung up without another word.

Stefan closed his eyes and struggled not to let tears overwhelm him. This was his fault. He was going to have to clean up the mess that followed on his own. He'd taken this relationship with Damon further and now he had to deal with the fact that he'd potentially lost his brother too. He needed to grow a spine and get out there and face it all. He took a deep breath and put his phone back into his pocket. He headed out to his car with a heavy heart and no hope and set off for the Grill.

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Elena awoke groggy and confused to the sounds of two people arguing.

"Maybe we shouldn't do this, maybe we should just leave here and run."

"Trevor everything is going to be fine."

"It'll be fine for you, not me! Christ, Rose he's been hunting me for hundreds of years, you think he's just going to pardon me? He'll kill me and let you go!"

"Hey, hey what are we?"

"Family."

"That's right. You and me. This is going to work. Elijah is a man of his word. If he says he'll pardon us, he will. I'm not going to leave you."

Elena crept as slowly and as quietly as she could towards the sound of the voices and eyed a man and a woman in their 20s holding each other and staring at each other intensely. Where was she and who were these people? The last thing she remembered was driving away from the Boarding House after… She shook that memory out of her head as she tried to focus. There had been a car behind her, they'd tried to run her off the road. She carefully traced her fingers over her forehead and winced at the pain. She had a deep gash in her forehead that was bleeding. Now she remembered. She'd had to swerve off of the road and had hit her head on the dash before her airbags had come out.

They must have done it to her intentionally to bring her here. Where was here? She looked around scanning the room. It looked like an abandoned mansion from one of the old plantations, except there weren't any of these old buildings left in as good a state as this one in Mystic Falls so she must be somewhere else. Her chest tightened in fear and she backed away as they continued their terse conversation. She had to get out of here and get to a phone and call help. Call Stefan…Wait.

She froze as she realised she didn't know who to call. Stefan was her…but he and Damon…who else could help her? She tried not to panic as she formulated a plan. Bonnie. Bonnie was a witch. Maybe she was powerful enough to do a spell that would incapacitate these two people – vampires. They had to be vampires. They were talking about lives from hundreds of years ago. She clutched at her throat and sighed in relief to note she still had her vervain necklace on. That was good at least. She began to make her way towards the stairs that she hoped would lead down to the front entrance – every step careful positioned as she tried to use her body weight to make no sound on the floorboards. She reached the top step of the last staircase to the door when she was grabbed from behind and screamed.

"Don't even think about it." The woman held her by her hair and hissed at her with a calm expression but dangerous tone. She began to cry and begged to be released but she was dragged forcefully back into the room she had awoken in and pushed down onto a sofa.

"Please let me go, you don't have to do this." She cried and the woman stood in front of her with authority, staring at her intensely.

"Be quiet. God you look just like her."

"But I'm not. I'm not Katherine please…"

"I said be quiet."

"Please, what do you want?" Elena sat forward beseechingly and the woman struck her hard across the face, knocking her out as she slumped into the sofa.

"I want you to be quiet." The woman said calmly, before walking away out of the room again.

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Everyone was in an uproar. Elena hadn't called or been in touch with anyone for nearly 10 hours. Jeremy had managed to keep Jenna calm and out of the loop, with Caroline calling to say that Elena was staying at her place for the night and going to school straight in the morning as she needed some relationship talk about Stefan. They were all under the impression that she and Stefan were together so it didn't make Caroline feel like she was actually lying. Bonnie began a locator spell with Jeremy's help.

"Was she ok when you saw her earlier? I mean, did you guys have a fight or something?" Caroline asked him innocently and he grew tense.

"Things haven't been easy lately, with Katherine and everything…" He replied, hating lying to her. They'd become friends lately, with him being a sort of mentor to her and he could see from her eyes that she held him in high regard. He'd lose that too once Elena told her what was really going on. His heart sank as he realised that. Caroline reminded him of Lexi a little and he'd wanted to be her friend. He'd wanted to be friends with all of them in truth and now…This was what Damon had warned him of. He'd tried to make Stefan realise that if they had this relationship, then he could never go back to having the life he'd created with these people. He hadn't cared at the time. All he'd been able to think about was how much he loved Damon. Now…it would hurt to have to lose these things he'd fought so hard to have, to build. Caroline saw his expressions flit across his face and she hugged him warmly.

"Don't worry Stefan. She'll be ok. We'll find her." He hugged her back stiffly, feeling like a fraud.

"There!" Bonnie announced and everyone went over to her at the table. She was pointing down at a splodge of blood on the map in front of her as Jeremy bandaged his hand discretely. Stefan gasped and fought to restrain the veins from popping out of his eyes as he smelled the blood and Caroline stood beside him and blew out a deep breath quiet enough for only Stefan to hear as the humans around them began to plan. She put her hand comfortingly on his back and he turned to her in surprise. She gave him a knowing look and a small smile and his heart warmed. She was really something this girl. He took a deep breath as he had shown her to do when she felt her urges take over and he righted himself, clearing his mind again. He looked to Bonnie again.

"Can't you get it any nearer? That's a large area to cover." He said and she sighed in frustration.

"That's the best that I can do Stefan. She's there." She said and everyone exchanged frustrated glances.

"Then what are we waiting for?"

Everyone turned around to see Damon hanging by the door. They had all crowded into the storeroom at the Grill to plan and hadn't expected to be interrupted. Stefan looked to him and his heart picked up immediately. He smiled in relief but Damon didn't look at him. He was addressing the others. His smile dropped and he tensed as he realised, trying to pull himself together. He couldn't have an emotional outburst with everyone else here.

Bonnie described a spell that she could do to let Elena know that they were coming for her, while Jeremy insisted that he help her prepare. Caroline and Matt wanted to come with Stefan and Damon but Damon held a hand out sternly.

"No way. We have no idea what the hell we're walking into alright?"

"She's my friend Damon." Caroline stood her ground as Matt looked from one of them to the other.

"And I'm sure Elena would want you to stay that way, not buried six foot under on some highway road because you've had your heart ripped out." Damon smiled patronizingly before remembering that he had buried Vicky under in similar circumstances and Matt was looking at him like a Bull ready to charge. "No offense quarterback." He added and Matt flexed his muscles. Caroline reached for him to calm him as she scowled at Damon's insensitivity.

"Caroline you should stay here to protect everyone else. If we are both gone, you're the only one strong enough to stand a chance." Stefan squeezed her shoulder and she looked to him and gave him a small smile born of agitation but acceptance. She couldn't argue with the logic of that. She nodded.

"Good. Let's get going shall we?" Damon sighed bored and walked out of the room. Stefan reassured everyone he'd call when they found her and strode out quickly to catch up with Damon.

Damon was already starting up his car when Stefan got outside and slung himself in the passenger seat ungracefully. Damon said nothing and pulled away as soon as the door was closed. Stefan gripped the side of the door as he chewed his lip. They had to talk but where to start. The longer the silence went on, the harder it was for Stefan to rouse any confidence to. He opened his mouth a few times to try and ended up closing it again as he fought with himself. This was the most quiet he had ever seen Damon as long as he had known him and that was a _long_ time. He turned to look at him and his heart broke to see Damon appear so indifferent. He opened his mouth again.

"Don't." Damon said coldly, not taking his eyes from the road. Stefan gulped painfully and inhaled.

"I'm sorry." His voice was barely a whisper as his vocal chords shrunk under the pressure. Damon ignored him, not even blinking and they drove in silence for a while.

"Please talk to me." Stefan attempted and Damon's face split with anger for a second before he straightened it again. "I can't bare this." Stefan croaked and Damon tightened his mouth and gripped the steering wheel hard.

"Damon…"

"Stop. Talking." Damon growled slowly, enunciating.

"We need to talk."

"Right now all I want to do is hurt you Stefan, so don't go there." Damon growled and Stefan sank back into his seat and sighed in grief. "Let's just get Elena and get her home safe."

"And then?" Stefan asked furtively and Damon tightened his expression and went back to ignoring him.

Stefan sat in misery for the next few hours, looking over at Damon occasionally to look for any signs of the frost on his heart melting but there were none. He'd never seen Damon this angry, this hurt before. Even when Katherine had ruined him, he hadn't been like this. How could Stefan's betrayal have been worse than everything she had done? That wasn't fair surely, that wasn't even in the same league! Then again, Damon had been so hurt by that, so overcome he had opened his heart completely to Stefan to find the solace and love she had torn from him and Stefan had given it to him in spades. They'd shared something so powerful it had made them both turn away from their human bonds – their beginnings, the only thing they had ever held dear in this new life and started on this new road together and they had been together on that completely. They had both declared themselves, given their souls, their future, their other relationships gambled…all for each other and now everything was up in the air. Damon was the only one with the string here and he could easily let go of everything they had and let it float upwards to the heavens, never to be thought on again.

They approached a large overgrown mansion and Damon stopped, parking the car behind some trees and shrubbery a small distance from the house. Stefan frowned and looked over at him.

"I reckon this is the place." Damon seemed calm.

"How do you know? That was a big area covered on Bonnie's map." Stefan reasoned and Damon just stared out of the windscreen scoping out their surroundings. He was all business it seemed.

"I googled on my phone on the way here. It's the only abandoned mansion for miles. It's secluded and off the beaten track. If I wanted to kidnap someone and keep it a secret, I'd bring them here." Damon informed and got out of the car. Stefan got out readily and joined him as he went to the boot and pulled out a bag of weapons. They both grabbed a few stakes and vervain grenades – courtesy of Alaric 'the inventor' and tucked them under their clothing as they prepared themselves.

"If we go in there, we might not come back out. Are you ready for that?" Stefan asked and Damon still avoided his eyes sighing.

"It's Elena." Damon said simply and Stefan chewed his lip. "Are you ready?" Damon asked.

"I can't think of a better way to die." Stefan said and Damon nodded and paled a little, moving on ahead as Stefan followed.

They entered the mansion quietly, straining to listen to a conversation happening somewhere above them. Damon tilted his head to intimate that they should split up and converge and Stefan nodded and walked around the large stairwell to the side of the house, carefully checking all of the rooms as he moved. He could hear Elena. She was scared and negotiating with someone. He moved onwards towards her voice, up a small set of stairs inside a storage cupboard to the first floor, when there was a commotion and screaming. He froze, his heart rampaging in his chest as he tried to zero in on her heart beat. There was a large clanging sound from somewhere near him and he realised it must be Damon. As the people in the room began to move in search for the culprit, Stefan managed to move into a hallway adjacent to them. Two people moved along the hall away from him in search and Elena dashed out. He grabbed her, covering her mouth as he held her to him and whispered to her to be quiet. She nodded in understanding and listened, squeezing his hand as there was further commotion down the stairs.

An English voice began to try to coax Damon out of the shadows and Elena looked to Stefan and nodded to him. He raised his eyebrows in query and she moved to stand at the top of the stairs before he could stop her. It wasn't until she started speaking to the Englishman that he realised she'd taken a vervain grenade from his pocket. Damon appeared behind the Englishman and staked him, making Elena gasp. The Englishman pulled the stake from his body as though it was nothing and continued to ascend the stairs towards her. She pulled the top out of the grenade and threw it at him as Stefan dove for her to protect her from the blast. He pulled her backwards and she clung to him for a moment.

The grenade merely seemed to stall the stranger as they both stared in horror at his continuing ascent up the stairwell. Stefan stood in front of her and lunged for him, tumbling them both down the stairs in a heap as she cried out. Stefan stood up and tried to prepare himself and the stranger twisted his arm, breaking it and pushed him onto his back on the floor as he screamed in pain.

"Stefan!" Elena cried out and suddenly Damon appeared from nowhere with a large wooden curtain pole and staked the stranger right through the heart, plunging him into the front door like a shrimp on a stick. The stranger gasped and groaned, turning grey and lifeless before them as Elena clambered down the stairs shakily and looked at him.

Damon went to Stefan, kneeling and lifting him into his lap as Stefan groaned and struggled with the pain. Elena turned back to them both, feeling as though she could pass out from the shock of everything that had happened today. She sat down shakily and tried to breathe. The woman who'd been her captor seemed to have made a run for it after seeing her friend so brutally killed before them.

Stefan was in pain and sweating as she watched Damon try to comfort him. Damon cooed at him and took a hold of his arm. Stefan gasped and looked up at him and she saw it – complete trust. Stefan looked into Damon's eyes and held his breath as Damon gave him a reassuring smile and snapped his bones back into place. It was such a loud crack she almost felt like vomiting in empathy, but Stefan merely groaned, biting his lip and became a little limp as Damon stroked his forehead. Damon rocked him a little as Stefan regained his wits and Elena watched entranced. They seemed so absorbed in each other.

"I'm sorry." Stefan gave a small cry and closed his eyes and Damon grimaced and closed his eyes too.

"Stefan…" Elena stood up slowly and extended her hand to him. She'd wiped some of the blood from her forehead and was offering him some if he needed to heal. He was hurt and he needed blood. He'd come to save her, she should help him if she could.

He looked over at her and blinked dazed, before smelling the blood. His veins appeared and she held her breath. Damon held Stefan tighter and gave a low growl. She looked to him in confusion. She just wanted to help.

"It's ok. I want him to have some." She assured and Damon tightened his expression.

He looked down to Stefan and Stefan closed his eyes in torment as he tried to fight his bloodlust. Stefan sat up and Damon released him from his lap as he moved to stand on his own two feet. He looked towards her hand hungrily and licked his lips subtly.

"Stefan…" Damon whispered softly with a slight hint of warning in his voice and Stefan looked to him.

Stefan looked so upset, so forlorn and in grief and she lowered her wrist as he looked from her to Damon. She realised at that moment what this was. Stefan was choosing. He was choosing which one of them would comfort him, would be the most pivotal and she didn't know which one he'd choose. She and Damon looked at each other and a moment passed between them. One she couldn't put her finger on or explain but somehow she just knew that Damon loved him just as much as she did, if not more. This hadn't just been blood and sex. When she'd first felt uncomfortable with the feeding they were sharing, it had been because she had known instinctively that part of Stefan had wanted Damon. She'd just known. She'd blamed Damon for that, believing that it was just another way for Damon to keep Stefan under his control, to keep him vulnerable but maybe she'd been wrong. She'd been punishing Damon for that, she'd been hating that they had this connection that she couldn't appreciate or begin to understand. She'd felt so lost when she'd seen parts of Damon coming through that she'd never expected existed but had hoped for – mercy, kindness and loyalty. Had these changes happened because of Stefan?

When she'd come over yesterday to talk things through and had found them having sex, she'd almost died. They had been exchanging vows of love and she'd seen that they weren't just having sex, they'd been making love and she couldn't take it. Somewhere in her heart she'd suspected it but hadn't dared believe it could happen. They had looked so much in love that she had watched in shock for a full 10 seconds before Damon had seen her and froze.

How could they be in love? How? They were brothers – family. They couldn't do this it was disgusting and wrong. It was abhorrent. It wasn't fair! Stefan and she…They'd been in love. They'd had a future…Hadn't they?

Stefan seemed to sag under their scrutiny and he sighed and looked up to the ceiling. He pulled out his cell phone and dialled Caroline's number as they both watched in silence.

"Care, we've got her. She's ok. We're all coming home." He said sounding unbelievably exhausted and worn out. He hung up after Caroline spoke for a few seconds and turned to Damon. Damon stood up and tightened his expression. Stefan turned to the stranger impaled through the door and opened it swinging the body into the wall as he exited and left them both to follow in his stead.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18 TDT

They all drove home in silence the whole way. Elena curled up under one of Damon's jackets and slept as the reality of her traumatic experience finally took hold of her body. Stefan seemed calm and collected while Damon looked over at him occasionally. They both wanted to talk, had so much to say but neither of them knew how to begin or wanted to be the first one to admit that. It was a powerful stalemate. The hours seemed to fly past as Elena dreamt of a world where she could be happy without supernatural interference, Stefan pondered on a life without anyone he so loved and cared about and Damon considered going into the tomb and being with Katherine again just to have someone.

They reached Mystic Falls late the next day. Caroline had successfully managed to keep Jenna out of the loop and everyone was safe and relieved to have them all back in one piece. Elena seemed emotionally drained and exhausted as they arrived at the Gilbert house and Damon looked over at Stefan to intimate he should make sure she got to her bed safe and sound. Stefan gave a tight smile and left the car to escort her to her door. He walked her up to the steps and she turned to him, still wearing Damon's jacket around her. He noticed it for the first time and his throat tightened. She sighed and he looked to her face.

"Stefan…I don't know how to feel. Everything is just so…"

"I know." He said sadly and she nodded.

"I thought that I was going to die today." She whispered and he tightened.

"We got him Elena, whoever he was, he's dead now." He reassured and she stared at him for a moment.

"I wasn't talking about that." She said and he frowned not understanding her meaning. She pulled Damon's jacket off and held it in her hands as she looked down at it and he clicked. She was talking about catching them together making love. She looked up at him as his eyes filled with tears. He hadn't wanted to hurt her. He loved her so much, but Damon and he were equals. They fit together. He loved him with so much more of his true self than he could ever show her.

She handed him Damon's jacket and he blinked a tear down his face as he reached out and took it from her.

"We don't belong in the same world." She said as she became emotional too.

"No." He shook his head in agreement.

"But Damon does." She added, tears flowing from her cheeks as she tried to hold her composure. "I can love you as much as I do, but it doesn't change anything. You'll always be torn between my world and yours."

He looked to her and swallowed.

"Do you love him?" She asked, avoiding his eyes and he choked and let more tears roll down his face as he rubbed his thumb over Damon's jacket. "Don't tell me." She said quickly as she held herself. He bit his lip and nodded and she sighed in pain.

"I love you too." He said and she choked, sobbing a little as they stood apart holding themselves. "I'll always look after you." He said and there was such finality to his voice that she put her hand over her mouth to stop herself from sobbing loudly.

"I know." She croaked and he closed his eyes and tried to breathe.

"Will you tell anyone about us?" He asked nervously and she gave a small hysterical sounding chuckle. He looked into her eyes and she stared back at him as if she was trying to read his mind.

"No." She whispered and he exhaled. They stood for a few moments unsure of how to end their conversation before he nodded and turned to leave. She reached out for him and grabbed his arm, turning him back towards her.

"You know what the cherry on the cake is?" She asked and he exhaled in disbelief that she should use that term. "I knew there was something between you. The way you looked at him lately. Is there…anything I could have done?" She asked and he frowned not understanding. "Something _I_ could have done for you?" She added and he sighed.

"No." He said genuinely and she released him as he gave her a small smile and turned back towards the road. Damon was gone.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Damon tried not to think too much as he rattled around in his wardrobe and dumped his clothes into some suitcases. He didn't want to come back here for a long time so he should take everything with him. He'd done it before, he could do it again. His shirts seemed reluctant to obey as they caught on other hangers next to them and he growled and pulled them roughly from the wardrobe. His usual inclination towards order and neatness was thrown out of the window as he stuffed what few possessions he had accumulated here into the cases. He bit his lip painfully as he tried to withstand the tsunami wave of emotion threatening to overwhelm him. He'd lost everything. He'd known it would happen from the start but he'd hoped for a little time to prepare for it before it happened. He'd wanted to have time to plan an escape, but this had happened so suddenly he felt like he was drowning.

He had to stay in control, stay calm and focussed, find somewhere to go. Maybe he could back to New York for a while. He had friends there, it was a good place to chill and hunt. It could be a good distraction. New Orleans would be easier but he couldn't risk bumping into Charlotte there so that was out. He was carrying the last of his things down the stairs when Stefan's footsteps approached on the gravel. He panted for breath trying to calm his racing heart and pulled his best Damon-esque face as Stefan walked in the door. Immediately Stefan looked to the bags.

"What's this?" He asked sounding numb and defeated and Damon stared at him blankly. "You're leaving?" Still Damon didn't answer and Stefan exhaled and looked to him. Damon summoned all of his strength and lifted the bags slowly, concentrating on the task at hand as he urged his legs to move forward one after the other. He walked awkwardly past him and headed for the door as he fought to keep himself blank. He managed to get out of the door without looking back and walked outside towards his car, opening the boot and filling it with his meagre possessions. He slammed the trunk closed and let a tear slip from his eye as he breathed the cool night air. Stefan hadn't followed him out and he was glad. At least he'd be able to leave with some dignity.

He walked back into the house for his last bag to find no sign of Stefan. He lifted the bag, fighting tears ferociously as he bit his lip. Stefan wasn't even going to say goodbye? He closed his eyes shaking slightly and spilled tears down his cheeks that he wiped away with the back of his hand. He looked around the lounge one last time, trying to memorize everything like a photograph in his head that he could cherish forever.

"Goodbye Stefan." He whispered and headed out to the car. He threw the suitcase in the back seat of the Camaro and recollected himself. This was it. He was leaving for at least 50 years. He looked up to Stefan's room. The light was on. He stifled a sob and clenched his jaw. This was his own fault, he'd encouraged this. He'd participated in something that was no more than an endorphin fix and now he was going to have to pay for it. Maybe after enough time had passed they could…no. No he knew he couldn't go back now. He let Stefan in, physically and emotionally and he'd never done that with anyone but Katherine. Both of them had decided that he wasn't up to their standards, that he was easily replaced and it hurt more than he could bare. He started the ignition and wiped a stray tear from his eye as he huffed and put the car into gear, pulling off slowly.

Suddenly Stefan ran out in front of him and he knocked him over. He stepped on the brake hard and jumper out as Stefan got to his feet unsteadily. He helped him stand and they looked at each other.

"Don't go." Stefan whispered.

"I have to." Damon whispered back and Stefan's face creased with pain.

"Damon I love you." He said as his eyes filled with tears and Damon shook his head, feeling his own tears threaten.

"No." He croaked and Stefan held his face between his hands. He tried to avoid his eyes as he fought his heart breaking. "Stefan please…let me go."

"I can't. Damon don't leave me." They both let tears slide now. "I was trying so hard to be something I'm not and you kept telling me."

"No." Damon croaked and Stefan pulled him closer.

"I can be myself with you."

"That's not enough for me. That's not enough reason for me to stay with you, just so you can feel normal!" Damon huffed and struggled against him as Stefan tried to hold him tenderly.

"Someone once told me that you should be with the person that makes you feel the most alive, that makes every day worth living for and that's you. Damon that's you!"

"No!" Damon pulled away and tried to get back into his car as Stefan barred the way with his body.

"Ok, ok! You want your cherry? I'll give you the biggest cherry in the universe. I love you. I fucking love you more than I can believe. I can't breathe without you, I can't think…I'll weep at your feet!" Stefan begged and Damon hung his head and growled in pain and anguish.

"Get out of my way!"

"No you'll have to kill me!" Stefan blocked his way again and pressed his back into the drivers' door panting as Damon clenched his jaw. "If you're going to go then just kill me. It was what you wanted to do when you first came back here wasn't it? Well do it finally! Because I can't live another day unless I have you." Stefan cried unashamed as Damon sat down on the ground and put his head in his hands. Stefan slid down onto the ground too and watched him numbly as Damon shook and held himself tight.

Stefan wasn't sure how long they sat there breathing and sobbing but the sun began to rise slowly and he felt his body ache from tiredness. He stood up and looked up at the sky, remembering that day so many weeks ago it seemed, when he threw his ring into the water and tried to die. Damon had come and saved him that day, saved his heart as well as his body and it had been the beginning of something that neither of them could ever have forseen. The sky began to change to a pink cotton candy colour and he inhaled and breathed in the scent of the sun in the air. The light brought life and rejuvenation to the world around them. He thought that day beside the lake that there was no light inside of him – that Elena was the only light but he'd been wrong. Damon was a light too. He was a light. Anyone who could love this intensely had light in them and together he and Damon could light up a baseball field. They may not be alive anymore but they lived and he intended to continue. He pulled Damon up onto his feet and he came willingly, tired from all of their grief. They went back into the house and climbed the stairs to Damon's room.

Damon had changed the bed and tidied up after their debauchery and Stefan smiled at that. As he began to remove Damon's clothes for him he noticed the candles everywhere. Damon must have brought them in. Damon stood numbly and let Stefan undress him until he was nude. It seemed as though he was too tired to do anything but that. Stefan led him over to the bed and moved the covers aside to let him slide inside. He undid the rest of his clothing and slipped in beside him, turning to him as Damon stared up at the ceiling.

"You're the cherry." Stefan whispered and Damon turned to look at him. Stefan looked at him hopefully but Damon turned on his side away from him and went to sleep. Stefan lay as close to him as possible without touching him and fell into a restless anxious slumber. When he opened his eyes Damon was dressed and moving around the room quietly. He sat up unhappily.

"Damon…"

"I'm leaving Stefan. This was a huge mistake. I told you that from the start." Damon said calmly as he moved a large painting aside to reveal a hidden safe. Stefan slowly rose from the bed and walked over to him. Damon keyed in a code and opened it, retrieving a document and Stefan frowned as he looked at it in query. Damon sighed and opened it up, handing it to him.

"The deeds to the house. I had them drawn up again after Zach. Take them." Damon said and Stefan exhaled in pain. This could mean only one thing. Damon wasn't ever coming back. He shook his head in disbelief.

"Don't do this." Stefan whispered. "Brother I love you. I love you so much."

"Stefan you'll be fine…" He croaked and Stefan tilted his head downwards and let some tears spill from his eyes as Damon continued, "…but I won't be if I stay with you."

Stefan looked at his face as Damon's composure began to crumble.

"This can't ever play out any different than this and I won't survive it if I don't leave right now."

"We can make this work. Elena said she wouldn't tell anyone. No one has to know." Stefan blurted and Damon closed his eyes and exhaled.

"I don't care if the whole of America knows Stefan." Damon said with conviction and Stefan sighed.

"What do you want? What can I do?"

"Go back to your girlfriend." Damon whispered and closed his eyes and Stefan huffed getting agitated.

"Stop saying that! I don't want her anymore!" Stefan growled and grabbed him by the arms. Damon opened his eyes and looked at him defeated and Stefan cupped his face. "_You_ make me want to live." He searched Damon's eyes. Damon made no comment or attempt to hold him back and Stefan felt tears threaten again. He felt like all he'd done for the past 24 hours was cry and be in pain. He was tired of it, it solved nothing. He pulled Damon into him forcefully, taking Damon by surprise and captured his mouth commandingly. Damon groaned but didn't stop him as he surrendered his mouth. Stefan kissed as though it was his last chance to and pretty soon Damon's face was damp from his tears as their faces touched. Stefan began to sob in between kisses, trying to breathe and Damon finally raised his arms and held him, sobbing also.

Stefan had never cried while kissing before, it was much harder to breathe than he would have thought. It was so intense and Damon groaned as silent tears fell down his cheeks too. They broke apart and pressed their foreheads together as they tried to catch their breath and calm down. Everything seemed urgent, every touch, every breath. They clung to each others' arms as though they might die if they let go and pulled back to look at each other. They stared into each others' eyes, seeing the pain and distress reflected and began to kiss again.

"I'll do whatever you want." Stefan said in between kisses and Damon closed his eyes and didn't respond. "I don't care about anything other than you." Damon pulled back from his mouth and frowned, cupping Stefan's face and stroking his thumb over his lips.

"That's not who you are brother. You care. It's me that doesn't give a damn."

"But you do. You say that but you still came when I asked you to because of her. You care about her. You even cared about Caroline enough to stop her from coming with us." Stefan pointed out and Damon sighed.

"And where does it get me. What do I gain from it?"

"Friendship, love, respect. All the things you've been denied, if only you'd let it happen."

"Those are the things _you_ care about, things that you need."

"Not more than I need you." Stefan said. He held Damon's waist. "I really felt it, what we've done, when you wouldn't answer." Stefan struggled to say and Damon frowned. "I called you that last time needing my brother and I didn't want to have to deal with everything that had happened between us that was…more. I wished it was simpler, separate."

"But it's not ever going to be." Damon said sadly.

"No, but then I realised how much we've gained from it. I loved you before…always, since I can remember, but now I feel like…" Stefan sighed, "I know you now. I understand you and you've made me realise things about myself that I didn't know." Stefan dropped his hands from Damon's face slowly and stepped back, feeling his nudity for the first time as he backed towards the bed and sat down.

"You'll always be my brother but it doesn't mean that that works against how much I love you and want you. You know me. You'll tell me how things are, like you always have but you'll save me from it too and love me at the same time. Being both people just makes you even more of a miracle." Stefan explained and Damon listened in fear and amazement.

Stefan felt like he saved him? All he had done was be his usual self indulgent self, convincing his brother to have sex with him and accidently falling in love, despite his better judgement and ability to have stopped it from causing the train wreck that was now Stefan's life and Stefan was calling him a miracle?

"You still picked her." Damon said quietly, pointedly, thinking on Stefan's reaction as she had caught them and Stefan looked up at him in pain.

"It wasn't about that."

"Then what was it about?"

"I…I wanted her to understand what she was seeing. I didn't want her to think that we were just having sex, that I was cheating on her." Stefan fought tears again and Damon grew tight and put his force fields up again. Stefan looked down to his hands and twisted his ring around and around his finger, tracing their family crest as he did so. He took a deep breath.

"I wanted her to know that only a love as strong as I feel for you could make me do that to her. That only my connection to you could outweigh everything that she thought we had." Damon huffed and folded his arms protectively. "We _did_ love each other. I wanted to be with her forever. I still love her and I needed to know that she understood that this wasn't just about sex or blood. That it wasn't because she couldn't give me what I needed in terms of that."

"What are you saying?" Damon huffed again, losing patience and Stefan swallowed.

"I needed her to know that this wouldn't wear off, that I wouldn't change my mind once I got my fix." He said and Damon unfolded his arms and looked to him, appearing more vulnerable than he had in a long time.

"I thought you were addicted to sex – that I could have been any one, any warm body for you and you wouldn't differentiate. I thought that maybe that's how I felt too at first, but then I realised you were the only person I would ever trust enough to share so much with, to feed on. I thought you saw it differently but then you let me inside of you and I knew. Especially after what Katherine said – I knew you'd never let anyone inside of you whom you didn't completely trust and I knew then that it wasn't just about sex."

Damon walked over to him slowly and sat down next to him as they both looked down at the floor.

"We're addicts to two different drugs." Stefan chuckled and Damon hummed in agreement.

"I definitely lucked out with mine." Damon smirked and they both relaxed as the mood started to lighten.

"I prefer my new one." Stefan said and Damon turned to look at him. "Being in love with you. For a change it won't get me killed."

"I wouldn't count your chickens yet Stef. Incest in this town?" Damon gave a short chuckle and Stefan reached over and squeezed his hand.

"It's no ones' business but ours." Stefan said calmly and Damon grunted. "If you leave I'll follow you. I'll wear you down, tie you up if I have to until you agree to be with me." Stefan added, hoping to tempt some playful antics from Damon's reserved expression. Damon gave a weak smile.

"Stay with me." Stefan turned to him fully and held his hands. "For once in our lives we deserve to be happy." Damon looked at him with such longing and vulnerability that Stefan felt like he wanted to wrap himself around him and shield him from the world. He pulled him into an embrace and Damon lay his head on his shoulder and sighed.

"I love you brother." Damon whispered and Stefan held him tighter.


	19. Chapter 19

Just a wee short one guys…

Chapter 19 TDT

Stefan held him close and stroked his back as Damon melted into him finally. He wanted to make love to him, show him how tender he could be, show him how little he had to worry about in terms of Elena. He moved to pull Damon down onto the bed with him when Damon became rigid and broke away from him. Damon gave him a small smile and shook his head silently.

"I think I need a time out." Damon whispered and Stefan began to panic again. His heart began to race and Damon squeezed his hands reassuringly. He wasn't going to leave but he wasn't ok either.

"What can I do?" Stefan croaked.

"I just need to be alone for a while." Damon said gently and Stefan swallowed. Damon continued to stare at him and Stefan began to realise that Damon meant from now. He wanted him to leave. He felt strange, unwelcome in his room all of a sudden and it was so alien to him. Damon stood up and moved into his bathroom and Stefan sat numbly as he tried to process it. He didn't want to leave, it felt wrong to. It made him feel emotional and hurt to be extradited and yet Damon's body language was making it pretty clear. Damon turned on the taps to his bath and the sound of the water penetrated Stefan awareness. He looked over and watched as Damon moved around, seeing to himself. He stood up slowly and gathered his clothes from the floor. He watched him for a few seconds, hoping he would turn around and notice how much he didn't want to leave but Damon kept himself busy in the bathroom.

"I'll just go and hunt." Stefan said in a strained, confused voice and Damon gave him a subtle nod. Stefan walked back to his room feeling like a zombie. This wasn't quite the ending he'd hoped for and he didn't understand why it was happening. Damon seemed to accept why he'd had to go to Elena. He'd accepted that Stefan finally understood the consequences of their relationship and they had declared their love again. So why was Damon withdrawing?

He dressed half heartedly and walked down the stairs, listening as Damon climbed into his bath and sighed. What was going to happen next? If he went out on a hunt, would Damon still be here when he got back? The thought shook him and he found himself turning and walking back up the stairs in fear. He had to know where they stood. He wanted to give Damon space if he needed it but he had to know! He practically ran back into Damon's room and Damon looked at him in embarrassment as tears rolled down his cheeks. Stefan went to him and pulled him into his arms, water and bubbles be damned, as he kissed him passionately. Damon seemed to become limp in his arms and Stefan climbed into the bath to hold him closer. Water soaked his clothes and swished onto the floor but he didn't care. Damon made sounds of grief as they kissed and Stefan lifted him higher onto his lap and unzipped his jeans. He was going to make love to him and prove that he felt the same no matter what had happened.

Damon grimaced in torment and Stefan lowered him onto his lap slowly. They hadn't prepared him in any way but the water seemed to help. Damon didn't seem to care about it anyway as he clung to him and tilted his head back as he was filled with Stefan's flesh. Once he was fully inside Stefan sat back, enjoying the warmth of the water and let Damon lead. Damon looked to him and Stefan closed his eyes, holding him lightly at his hips, leaving all of the control to him. Damon needed control and Stefan wasn't sure if that would ever change, but truth was, Stefan couldn't foresee any problem with that. He loved him exactly as he was and if he never changed it wouldn't matter. No one was perfect and they were always going to have things about each other that they didn't like – that they fought about, but that was life. Life! Finally for the first time since they were turned, Stefan felt alive.

Damon grabbed the sides of the tub and began to move with more care and gentleness than he'd ever shown and Stefan brought his hands up to intertwine their fingers on the bath edges. As their bodies began to vibrate and reel from sensation, Damon moaned filled with emotion and Stefan watched him in awe of how much he was giving away. He pulled Stefan closer and guided him towards his neck and Stefan hummed and kissed his throat, his fangs extending as his desire spread like fire. He opened his mouth to bite when he stopped himself. Why couldn't they make love without Stefan having to feed? Making love was more important than that right now and he knew he would get enough pleasure and closeness from that alone without muddying the waters of desire. He kissed Damon's throat instead and trailed his mouth down to his shoulder, biting playfully with his normal teeth and Damon began to climax. Stefan held him and thrust up into him with urgency and Damon cried out loudly and became limp in his arms. Stefan lay him back against the tub and caught his own breath as Damon panted. Stefan was close but he didn't want to tire Damon further so he pulled out gently as Damon opened his eyes.

"We're in this together. Always together." Stefan whispered and Damon grunted in confusion. Stefan reached in the water for Damon's member, smiling when he found it still semi erect. Trust Damon to be able to keep going. He began to stroke his with his hand and Damon tilted his head back and opened his mouth. He pumped him until he was hard again and then he made a decision. He stood up and removed his clothes quickly. Damon watched him, his cheeks flushed as he waited and Stefan threw the clothes onto the floor. He sat back down and filled himself with Damon's manhood and Damon exhaled. It hurt a little but Stefan didn't care if he bled. They were equals in this game and he wanted to show him that as he began to make love to him all over again. His urgency grew as his body begged for release and he leaned into him to kiss him. Damon held him around his hips and helped his movements and they both climaxed together in a flurry of kisses and tears and grasping.

Stefan lay against him breathing for a while until he felt Damon tense. He sat back, afraid that Damon was going to ask him to leave again. Damon looked at him with wide eyes and sat up too, reaching around him and turning the taps back on. In their passion they had rid the bath of most of the water and it was cold. Hot water began to surround them and Damon lay back again and kept his eyes trained on him. Stefan didn't know what to say. He rose up and separated their bodies and sat back against the opposite end, turning off the taps again. They sat in silence just feeling comfortable and relaxed, their legs touching, resting against each other.

"You've soaked my bathroom." Damon said eventually.

"I'll hire that maid we talked about." Stefan said and they both gave small smiles.

"You didn't feed." Damon noted and Stefan shook his head. "Why?"

"Because I didn't need it. I wanted to make love." Stefan explained and Damon looked off into the distance and sighed.

"Why did you send me away?" Stefan asked sheepishly and Damon closed his eyes.

"I need to be able to say no."

"No?" Stefan gulped, fear clawing at him again.

"No." Damon repeated and Stefan lay his head back and clenched his jaw.

"To us." Stefan realised and he closed his eyes too.

"No." Damon whispered and Stefan exhaled. "To needing it."

"What?" Stefan looked to him.

"I use it, all the time. I want it. I even managed to convince you to give up your life because I wanted it. It'll ruin us." Damon said.

"What?"

"Sex."

"Sex won't ruin us Damon. Sex with you is amazing."

"What if it becomes more important than you? What if I can't control it?"

Stefan climbed back over to him and straddled him to hold him as closely as possible.

"Then you tell me and I'll make sure you don't lose control." Stefan cooed and ran his fingers through Damon's' hair. Stefan bit his lip. "Just like I know you'll tell me if I'm hurting you, if I'm taking too much and losing it. I know you'll stop me if I become dangerous so I'm not afraid anymore. It can't control me if I don't fear it."

Damon searched his eyes and gave a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I don't have the same control as you do. I completely failed."

"Failed?" Stefan frowned.

"Even when I asked you to go I knew you would come back and sleep with me. Part of me thought I was making a stand and saying no but deep down I knew you'd come back. So it wasn't much of a test was it?" Damon seemed to be feeling self loathing and Stefan tried to stroke his face but Damon shook his head and sighed. "You can't make this ok Stefan. I need to be able to do this."

"But sex is beautiful Damon, it's not a bad thing, not like my hunger." Stefan argued.

"It's beautiful when you do it for love."

"What are you saying?" Stefan gulped.

"Sometimes I do it to make sure you're occupied, so I know you're not with anyone else. That's not love." Damon gripped the edges of the bath and tightened and Stefan sat back at the other end of the bath trying to think of how to respond.

"Sometimes I need it just so I can feel something." Damon whispered and avoided his eyes. "That's not something that you can fix."

"Who says? So…things get a little hard and you want to run? Well I'm not running. We'll figure this out together. If you don't want to make love for a while until you figure out when you want to because it feels right and for no other reason, then let's do that. I won't feed from you anymore either. We'll do it together."

"I can't. I'll just end up talking you into it Stefan. I've done it before." Damon clenched his jaw.

"Then what?" Stefan frowned getting frustrated. "What do you want?"

"I think I need a break."

"What?" Stefan dove forward, sloshing water out of the bath onto the floor again as he reached for him.

"I'm not leaving you. I love you." Damon reassured, letting Stefan cup his face. "I just need to prove this to myself. If I can go away for a bit and not let myself give in…if it's only you I want…if I could just…" Damon struggled. "When I come back here I want it to be because I know I can be with you without worrying that I won't use you, use sex against you to get what I want."

"Where would you go? For…for how long?" Stefan croaked.

"New York maybe, Boston…I need this." He said and Stefan's expression filled with sadness and longing. He pulled Stefan into him and held him, whispering words of love into his ear.

"What will I do without you?" Stefan croaked.

"You can see whether you can do this too. There's so much here for you, you get that now. Take time to think this through for real. If you still want me when I come back…"

"I love you!" Stefan cried and pulled back indignantly.

"…we'll know we're ready for this and if not, then we'll figure out where we go from there." Damon finished and Stefan huffed in pain. Somehow he could tell from Damon's expression that the decision was already made. He gave a brief nod and got up to vacate the bath. Damon reached out for him as he stepped out and looked at him in grief. Stefan grabbed a towel from the rack and wrapped it around himself comfortable as he processed what to do next.

"When will you leave?"

"I'm not sure." Damon croaked, fighting tears too and Stefan nodded. Neither of them knew what to say next as they stared at each other. Stefan gave another nod and left to get some dry clothes to wear. If he was to get back fully onto a non-Damon diet then he should start now. He dressed again and left the house this time, trying to hold himself together. How was it that his heart was breaking and yet he felt like this was the right decision for them both?

He hunted for an hour and drank until he could hardly walk comfortably. Every time he felt like vomiting he thought about how important it was for him to be able to do this. Oddly, all of these years he had hated having to hunt and feed like this, tasting this and even though he had tried to do it for himself – to think of the reasons why he owed it to himself to soldier on, he hadn't ever found it as easy as when he was doing this for Damon. Perhaps it was just easier to prioritise someone else rather yourself but somehow, thinking of how much Damon believed their addictions were important to control, helped make this less of a sacrifice.

He walked home, pondering on the truth in that and entered the boarding house feeling proud of himself. He bounded up the stairs to tell Damon.

"Damon! Guess what?" He called excitedly, walking into his room smiling when he stopped dead in his tracks. Damon was gone and he'd taken a lot with him. He'd left without saying goodbye.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 TDT

A few weeks went by as Damon travelled around and tried to remember to breathe. Every day he got up, washed and dressed and breathed, breathed just enough to be able to leave his room and face the world – a world without Stefan. It was crippling and he constantly thought about giving in and going back. He had no real purpose anymore. For most of their lives his purpose in life had been to hurt Stefan, to punish him and in Mystic Falls this time he had found something worth living for. He'd made a couple of friends…almost, he'd felt like he could belong given enough time and Stefan…Stefan was…

He focussed on his pain, it helped sometimes to have that to focus on. He was here in the world for a reason and that reason was to prove himself. He wanted Stefan to have the kind of relationship he deserved and he wasn't going back until he was sure he could offer that to him. His libido argued bitterly and fighting off female attention seemed constant. It never ceased to amaze him how people seemed more attracted to others who were taken and committed to someone. It was almost as though the alarm bells of desperation were so far removed that it attracted people. Not that he'd ever had to try to get people into bed. He knew what he looked like, but still, now the attention irritated him because it was a temptation.

Stefan was the one and he wouldn't sleep with anyone else no matter how much he craved that connection. Touch was so tempting. No one ever really touched him in a non-sexual way and so avoiding sex meant that he felt little physical comfort from others at all and it made him feel lonely. He had to learn to be happy in himself, accept himself and not need the sighs and post-coital declarations of others to be able to feel valued and worthwhile.

He compelled his way into a few psyche classes on a nearby campus for a while, just to learn a little more about why he felt this way. It really helped him put things into perspective. It all made sense after a while. Katherine had used sex to make him do what she wanted, to come around to her way of thinking and once she'd been taken from him – once she'd abandoned him, he'd simply used what she had taught him. He'd done that for a long time and now it had become hard to separate that behaviour from what he wanted it for. Stefan had been right – sex was a beautiful, loving thing, but for him it had also been about dominance and lack of self confidence. He'd compelled a few psychiatrists to talk things over with a few times, explaining everything about he and Stefan's situation and ridding their memories of him afterwards.

He had been surprised at some of their reactions – after the vampire element of course. The incest issue was something they all wanted to explore with him. They couldn't understand it and the few that did have some empathy tried to explore the possibility that it was the result of their familiarity. Of course it was. You didn't have to be a genius to know that you are more attracted to people who you can be yourself with and no one knows you better than someone who's known you their entire life and then some. Being with Stefan was easier because of that fore knowledge and acceptance but it went deeper. Stefan needed him. Was that all it was though? If Stefan didn't need him anymore, would their love dissipate? Would it gradually fade away and leave them back where they started? In some ways that would be easier for them. If this was out of need, then if it did fade it might leave them stronger but not in love. Without the love they had, there were fewer complications for both of their lives. That was what made him decide to go back. If this faded, it would be better than an explosion or a trauma that would make neither of them able to look at each other anymore. If it faded, they could still have the memory of their closeness and love but they would both feel able to move on.

He arrived back in Mystic Falls in the afternoon and went in to find him. It had been weeks and he felt like he could spontaneously combust if he didn't see him soon.

"Stefan?" He called but there was no answer. He went up to his room and found that Stefan had moved a lot of his things in here. He smiled to himself, feeling his heart throb as he sat his bags down. The room smelled of Stefan, deodorant and bubble bath. He walked into the bathroom and laughed when he saw an empty bottle of champagne beside the sink. So Stefan had adopted some of his quirks had he? It made him feel loved to see that. He pulled his cell from his pocket. They'd both managed not to contact each other but it had been crippling. Stefan had been so upset he had left without saying goodbye and had texted him that, but after that there had been nothing. Damon had sent him a text full of kisses in response and then maintained radio silence. He was impressed at their maturity and restraint. It meant good things surely.

He went back into the room to see what else Stefan had changed in here, when he noticed something that made his heart freeze. There was a lipstick on the dresser. He walked over and lifted it up. Either Stefan had been keeping some rather unusual lifestyle secrets, or there had been a girl in here. He scanned the room feeling nauseous and then he noticed Elena's jacket hanging over a chair in the corner. He felt the air leave his lungs and he struggled to draw in a breath. He sat down on the bed weakly, feeling ill as he tried to process it. Elena had left personal items in here, in his room. In his room that Stefan had adopted. What? Had Stefan simply moved in and took this room? He looked around for his things and they were still here. He swallowed feeling confused and hurt and got up and moved to Stefan's old room.

He walked inside and found more female clothing and evidence of a slept in bed. What? He frowned confused. What was going on? Who was staying here? He heard the door open downstairs and he turned round and headed along the hallway when a flash of colour blurred past him and forced him against the wall.

"Hey!" He growled at the woman holding him. She blinked and let him go immediately.

"Damon, I'm sorry I didn't know you were back." She apologised, looking nervous.

"Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my house lady?" He asked tightly and she became nervous.

"My name's Rose. You don't remember me from that day do you?"

"What day? I meet a lot of women babe." He said confidently and she shook her head.

"You're just like Stefan describes. Although hotter than I remember."

"Who? What?"

"The day you came and rescued Elena from Elijah." Damon blinked at her. "The English guy you staked through a door?" She prompted.

"Right."

"I was there that day. Elijah killed my friend and I had nowhere to go. I came to help protect Elena and found Stefan. He's been letting me stay here." She explained.

"Why do you care about Elena?" He scrutinised her and she shrugged.

"I've nowhere else to go." She said and he opened his mouth to quiz her further when he heard the door open again. Stefan…His heart began to race and she looked at him in interest at his change in demeanour. He moved past her and headed down the stair case as she watched. He couldn't shout out, his throat was closed in anticipation as he ran down the stairs and stopped abruptly when he saw Elena. She froze too and they stared at each other.

"Hey." She said after an uncomfortable silence and he gave an uncomfortable smile. Where was Stefan and why were all of these women hanging around? "Stefan's out hunting with Caroline." She explained, realising that was why he was standing so awkwardly.

"Right." He said quietly. They both fidgeted nervously.

"Are you back?" She asked and he opened his mouth to speak when she interrupted him, "Because if you're not then leave before he gets back. I don't want him to know you were here."

"I live here too the last time I checked." He said a little annoyed. "What's with this becoming a sorority house all of a sudden? I turn my back for two minutes…"

"Two minutes? Try nearly two months Damon. Two months!" She fumed and he was taken aback by her anger.

"Why are you here Elena?" He folded his arms and she shook her head.

"Elijah."

"Who is this guy? The one I staked?"

"The very same." Rose spoke from behind him and walked down the stairs effectively trapping him in between them both.

"He wasn't dead. He's an original, one of the first vampires and he's been bargaining with me for everyone's lives to get Klaus here to perform the sun and moon ritual."

"With the moonstone?" He asked and Elena nodded. He walked down the rest of the stairs and they followed him into the lounge. He moved to the brandy table and lifted a bottle. He looked at it in surprise at its weight and realised that it was empty. That was odd. He didn't finish it, he loved this one and kept it for times of particular stress. Elena sighed as she watched him.

"Stefan drinks it now."

"Since when?" Damon frowned. Stefan drank bourbon and brandy but it was rare.

"Since you left him." She said pointedly.

"I never left him." Damon defended and flashed his eyes over to Rose nervously. Were they really going to talk about this in front of other people? Rose gave him a sympathetic smile and he frowned again.

"He drinks your brandy, sleeps in your bed and doesn't smile or laugh anymore. I hope you're happy." She said bitterly and he put the empty bottle down.

"Hold the phone here ok, what the hell is this? What do you know about anything? Last time I saw you, you said you never wanted to see him again, that we were disgusting. You were revolted…"

"That was eight weeks ago!" She reminded him.

"And now…what, suddenly it's all rainbows and moonbeams? Are you back together now?" He snapped at her, trying to ignore the churning in his stomach when he thought about her things in his room.

"That'd be so much easier for you wouldn't it? Then you wouldn't have to deal with how hurt he's been."

"I think I'm going to go and have a shower." Rose said full of discomfort as she rose and headed towards the stairs.

"Wait a minute I don't even know who the hell you are and you're just going to wander around my house like you live here?" Damon said incredulously and she paused.

"You were the one that left Damon. You've no right to come back here and start tossing your weight around, to break his heart anymore." Elena snapped at him and his mouth fell open.

"You don't know what you're talking about." He said clenching his jaw.

"He told everyone." She said.

"What?" He frowned.

"When you left you said it was so he could get a real idea of what his life would be like, of what would change if he still wanted to be with you. Well he told everyone that he loved you. Do you have any idea what people have said to him, how people have reacted?" She was angry and he was too stunned to answer.

"He told people you were actually cousins through Giuseppe, but it's been so hard for him and you were off on your trip not even texting him."

"So you thought you'd move in and comfort him did you?" He sneered and she scowled at him.

"I love him Damon."

"So do I!" He shouted. Rose took that opportunity to leave the room. "I love him in a way you'll never understand and I've come back to be with him too."

"Oh please, don't stand there and start with your vampire connection stuff. I know I can't give him what you can but it doesn't mean I love him any less than you do." She became emotional and he put his head in his hands and sighed. They fell into silence again as Damon thought over her bomb shell. Stefan had told everyone about them but told them they were really cousins. Would that swing? It wasn't much better but maybe…

"I'm not here to compete with you. I just want you to know how much he's had to deal with on his own since you left. If you're here to stay then you better make sure you don't let him down."

"Ok you seventeen year old _child_." He said in disbelief that she was giving him relationship advice.

The door opened and they both turned around expectantly as Stefan entered and stopped when he saw Damon.

"Damon." He said barely above a whisper and Damon gave a relieved yet nervous smile. Stefan gazed at him in longing and Damon blurred over to him, startling Elena at his speed and grabbed Stefan kissing him as Stefan held him tight.

"Where have you been?" Stefan breathed in between kisses and Damon smiled and kissed him passionately, forgetting all about Elena's presence.

"I love you, god I've missed you." Damon whispered and Stefan melted into him sighing. They kissed for a few minutes before breaking apart and taking each other in.

"You came home, does that mean…" Stefan trailed off and Damon grinned.

"I'm ready." Damon said happily and Stefan exhaled in emotion and held him to him again. Damon stroked his back, kissing his shoulder.

"I hear you've let the proverbial cat out of the bag brother." Damon whispered and Stefan tensed a little. Damon pulled back and cupped his face.

"You wanted to know if I really wanted this, even with all of the consequences and I do so I took the leap." Stefan explained but he looked tired and a little upset. Damon stroked his face in concern.

"I would have come back. I didn't want you to face this alone."

"I had to. Besides, Elena and Caroline have been here and Rose."

"They all know?" Damon asked and Stefan nodded. "Rick, Liz?"

"Everyone."

"Stefan." Elena said and they both turned to look at her. "I'm going to go home for a while, catch up with Jer."

"You can't, Elena it's too dangerous. This is going to be the only safe place for you right now." Stefan reasoned and she gave a weak smile.

"You two need some time alone. I'll be fine, Elijah won't hurt me, we can do the paperwork later."

"No, it's too risky. I have to sign over the house so you will be safe here."

"What?" Damon gasped. Stefan was going to sign over the deeds to their house?

"I'll explain in a minute." Stefan reassured him as he looked to Elena.

"You've missed a lot." Elena said to Damon and Stefan went to her and hugged her.

"Stay here, please. I can't sit and worry about where you are."

"Ok." She gave in and sat back down again.

Stefan turned back to him and pulled him by his hand up towards their bedroom. Damon followed numbly wondering how the world had gone so strange in such a short absence. Stefan closed the door behind them and Damon turned around to face him.

"Elena's been staying here for a while."

"Noted." Damon said bluntly, eyeing up her jacket on the chair behind Stefan. Stefan blinked.

"It's not what you think. Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" Damon folded his arms.

"Like I'm cheating. She's been here for me while you've been away. I don't know what I would have done without her."

"I thought she was done with you, with us."

"We had something Damon, we are always going to care about each other. Just like no matter what happens with us, I'll always care about you."

"That's comforting." Damon's tone still dripped with hostility and Stefan sighed.

"Things here have been a nightmare. I've had so much to deal with. I wanted to call you so badly." Stefan said sadly and Damon softened and embraced him. He pulled back and kissed him softly as they explored each others' mouths again. Stefan flushed and walked them back towards the bed and Damon tensed and broke their kiss.

"Sorry." He said and Stefan raised his eyebrows. "This isn't the time."

"I want you, please you've been gone so long." Stefan began to kiss him again and Damon groaned as they lay down on the bed and melted into each other.

"Stefan no, I can't." He whispered and Stefan broke away and frowned, looking down at him.

"I need you inside me."

"Stefan if I took you right now it'd be because I'm jealous and I want to remind you what I can do for your body that she can't." Damon groaned and Stefan huffed.

"I don't care."

"Stefan, when we make love again I want it to be because I love you, not because I'm pissed at Elena." He struggled and Stefan sighed and sat up feeling rejected. He sat up too and kissed Stefan's cheeks and ear. Damon bit his neck playfully, winning Stefan over as he tilted into him and hummed.

"I've missed this neck." Damon hummed.

"I've missed yours too." Stefan said and Damon cupped his face tenderly.

"How have you been?" Damon asked sincerely and Stefan sighed sadly.

"I missed the blood. I hated you for leaving for a while because I couldn't have any. It took me weeks to calm down." Stefan confessed and Damon gulped. "You?"

"It's been a challenge."

"Did you sleep with anyone else?"

"No, but I wanted to." Damon admitted and Stefan's face creased in pain. "Then I thought of how much I love you and wanted to be sleeping with you."

"It's always going to be this hard isn't it?"

"Yup."

"I'm ready for that now. People barely speak to me at school because they think I'm a freak show but I don't care as long as I have you." Stefan smiled and Damon smiled too.

"I'm ready to try this for real too. I have to." Damon said and Stefan kissed him again.

"Oh I want you." Stefan hummed and Damon kissed his jaw line slowly. "Have you calmed down yet about Elena?" He asked hopefully and Damon bit his neck playfully again.

"Not yet. Her things are in here Stefan." Damon gestured to the lipstick and jacket.

"She's in trouble, she's been living here. I have to sign the house over to her to make sure there's somewhere safe for her where no one we didn't know could enter."

"And she's been sleeping in my bed?"

"Platonically. Only sometimes." Damon huffed jealous. "Damon she's scared and…so was I. I didn't know how long you'd be gone. For all I knew you could be gone for years."

"Well I'm back now."

"I'm not going to ask her to leave just because you're home. She's important to me. You can love two people differently but with just as much importance."

"Stefan…" Damon grumbled.

"I'll make up a room for her, but she stays brother."

"Fine, whatever you want." Damon said tightly. "Let's take care of her problems so that we can get back to our life together."

"Our life?" Stefan grinned and Damon huffed annoyed but gave a small smile as he saw how delighted Stefan was at his use of words.

"Our life. You and me." He reiterated and Damon pulled him into a deep kiss that made them both breathless and full of mirth again.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

It was impossible for them to get any time alone in that house, not with both Elena and Rose staying. Quality time was elusive and it all started to get on Damon's nerves. They'd been apart for 8 weeks and he hadn't sex in that whole time. He wanted him and he could see that Stefan wanted him just as much. Vampire sex however, didn't lend much to a tendency for discrete levels of excitement and they knew that they couldn't risk getting lost in each other right now.

"Godddd!" Stefan grunted as they broke away from another passionate embrace and huffed. Damon put his arm over his eyes and sighed. "I can't take this much more. I want you."

"I know." Damon mumbled from beneath his arm. Sleeping in bed together but being unable to touch like they wanted was making them both feel like they were barely pubescent teenagers again.

"We can't take our eyes off of Elena for a second though or she'll go and make a martyr out of herself like usual."

"Can't you get her to stop doing that?" Damon moaned.

"How?" Stefan sat up irritated.

"I don't know, she's your ex. Sweet talk her into it." Stefan swatted him in the stomach and Damon jumped in surprise and looked at him.

"I've got enough on my plate without that responsibility alone brother. If you would stop offering to kill Tyler Lockwood it would help a lot."

"I'm just saying. I'd be happy to." Damon smiled sweetly. "Don't go all pouty face." Damon stuck him bottom lip out and Stefan gave a small smile inadvertently and looked away trying to stay annoyed at him.

"You're an ass."

"And you love it." Damon purred sitting up and kissing the back of his neck and sliding his arms around him. "When we stop this whole thing going down I'm stealing you away. You're not going to leave my bed for a week." Stefan hummed and leaned back into him.

"I just want one day where we can be together alone." Stefan sighed and opened his eyes as he heard Elena pause on the stairs below. Damon stopped kissing him and lay his chin on Stefan's shoulder. Elena must have heard that comment. Damon sighed against him and Stefan looked to him. Damon released him and he stood up from the bed and headed out to see her. This was the way it was right now. Elena had been staying here. Ever since Rose had been bitten and died so horribly, she had been scared for both of them, for their safety, despite the fact that she was the one prophesized to be sacrificed in some weird voodoo ceremony. Of course they both wanted her there, they demanded it in fact, but it was obvious that she still had feelings for Stefan and that there was still something between all three of them in that regard. Elena and Damon had made peace over him leaving Stefan for that period but they still seemed to butt heads a lot and Stefan was always caught in the middle.

He went out onto the stairwell as she turned around to descend the stairs again.

"Elena, hey." Stefan caught her arm gently and she turned back to face him, trying not to look wounded.

"It's ok Stefan, I get it. You don't really want me here interrupting you guys."

"It's not like that, come on you know that. I love you." He said and pulled her into a hug.

Strange how those words sounded so different to her now that they were said out of friendship. She squeezed him back and closed her eyes. In truth she was glad that she was here so they couldn't have sex. It was a terrible thing to be thinking but she wasn't quite ready to accept that it was really over. Hearing Damon and Stefan having sex would prove that things really were over. She knew that she was deluded, it wasn't as though they weren't couply in their own ways. Damon wasn't a hugely public person when it came to affection but he did kiss Stefan lightly, even to show that they were together. It had taken her a few days to get over seeing their response to each other when Damon had come back. They had ran to each other and kissed passionately, whispering words of love and devotion and it had been like a knife in her heart. She and Stefan used to have that and now it was gone.

Perhaps that's why she'd done what she had next. She could see how close they were getting to bursting, wanting to be alone together, wanting to consummate the fact that they were properly and publicly together now. She couldn't bear it, so when Elijah had asked if she needed anything, if he wanted her to do anything at all before this all went down – she'd crossed the line and she knew she was going to suffer horrible for it if she lived.

"Damon, I know things have been hard between us lately…" She began as Damon lay on his bed ignoring her, staring up at the ceiling. He'd had spoken for a few days, had barely left his room other than to feed and her guilt was beginning to grow into a monster. He blinked, his expression unreadable.

"Please, talk to me. Stefan's so upset because of this." She sat down on the edge of the bed and he closed his eyes. She watched his chest rise and fall as he struggled to breathe properly – he was in agony and it was her fault, although she could never tell them both what she'd done. They would never forgive her.

"He feels terrible. He never wanted to hurt you. It's just…you know he is better off with me." He turned to look at her. "He couldn't have had a normal life here."

"You have no idea what you're talking about Elena. He's not who you think he is." Damon spoke quietly, calmly – too calmly for someone whose true love had just dumped him for his ex-girlfriend again (courtesy of compulsion).

"That's why he still needs you." She said, holding her conscience tight in her grasp to avoid spilling the awful truth about Stefan's sudden change in heart.

"I told him I couldn't do this unless he was sure." Damon mused and looked up at the ceiling again. He was like a shell of himself. "What happened?" He croaked and closed his eyes in pain.

They both turned as Stefan ascended the stairs towards them. Stefan leaned against the door frame nervously and full of guilt and remorse as Damon's eyes filled with tears.

"Hey." Stefan whispered and Damon turned back to look at the ceiling again as he tried to compose himself.

He walked in slowly and motioned for Elena to give them some space. She reluctantly withdrew. Deep in her stomach she feared that if they were alone too much then the compulsion could wear off and they would fall in love again. She'd been too guilt-ridden to ask Elijah to compel Stefan to forget that he loved Damon – she didn't want to take that from him, but she had wanted Stefan to remember his feelings for her and feel them as intensely as he used to. That had been her request and she kept trying to tell herself that that was all she had done – but she'd known that reviving Stefan's feelings would tear him between both she and Damon and he and Damon hadn't really been together properly as a couple for long, so the history he had with her would pull him more in her direction.

She gave them some space and went to soothe her guilt with a coffee. The sacrifice was supposed to happen tonight and she was beyond terrified. Elijah had come up with a potion that he believed could save her life and so she taken it in preparation. She just had to focus on surviving this and then she could think about Stefan.

Stefan sat down on the bed and Damon turned away onto his side facing away from him.

"I don't know how I can explain." Stefan whispered and tried to stroke his back when Damon flinched away from him. "Damon, I'm so sorry. I just, it just made sense. You and I, we never made that much sense…"

"You said none of that mattered Stefan. You said you were with me on this." Damon choked bitterly, full of pain and anguish.

"I was. I promise you I was. I love you so much…"

"Shut up."

"I do, I still do. I just…I love her too and Damon this is better for both of us."

"I should never have let you inside of me." Damon curled into himself. "I knew it." His voice was laced with pain and Stefan crawled onto the bed to hold him. "No! No! Don't touch me lover boy. You made your choice."

Stefan choked and pulled him around and into his arms as Damon's composure fell away and they held each other. Stefan's heart raced and he struggled to breathe. He loved him without a doubt in his mind and he'd really wanted this with him, but then he'd realised how fated to doom it was. They were brothers. He'd told everyone in Mystic Falls who mattered, that they were actually cousins and they were in love and he had been, so in love. People reacted in different ways – some positive and some negative and Elena had been hurt the most by it. He'd seen it in her, especially when Damon had come home.

Damon pulled back and began to kiss him urgently, desperately. Searching for that same love and devotion Stefan had vowed him only a few days before but had since rescinded. Stefan held him gently and tried not to respond. He couldn't let this happen. As he tried to slow the kisses and break away, Damon held him tighter, unwilling to let him go and Stefan began to feel heat building between them once more. He sighed and tried to move but Damon was like a vice.

"I love you brother." Damon whispered against his mouth and Stefan let out a sob of uncertainty. He wanted to kiss him, it felt natural to, but he couldn't – not anymore. He broke the kiss finally and held Damon's face.

"I'll always look after you." He said and Damon's face crumpled in pain as he pushed him back and leapt out of the bed to go to his bathroom.

Damon just needed some space and time. Stefan rubbed his eyes and sighed regretfully. He'd really fucked up everything. He got up tiredly and left Damon to his pain. He just wished there was something he could do to take it away, but Damon wouldn't speak to him hardly. That kiss had been from sheer desperation, but despite that Stefan couldn't deny his heart was still divided. He had to stop this from ever happening again or it would ruin Damon.

He walked down the stairs to Elena and sat down.

"Is he ok?"

"No."

"Just give him time Stefan. He's hurting." She squeezed his hand. Stefan grunted non-committal and stared off into the distance. She watched him nervously. She should try and keep him distracted from it. If this was the last night she was going to have alive, she needed him. She knew it was a poor excuse for breaking Damon's heart but she needed Stefan right now. She was probably going to die and she was sure that their relationship would end up getting them both killed eventually too. It wasn't natural. She'd done a terrible thing but for the right reasons…right?

She inhaled and squeezed his hand again.

"I'm scared Stefan." She admitted, although he didn't comprehend the full extent of her fears.

"I'm sorry. I've been so selfish. Here you are getting ready for tonight and I'm…" He croaked and looked upwards to Damon's room. She wasn't sure if he was even aware that he'd done it as she tensed, watching him.

"Stefan, be with me today. I need to not think about what might happen." She whispered and he looked at her nervously. Why was he nervous about sex these days? She gave him a reassuring smile and tilted her head towards his bedroom. He tensed and sighed.

"We can't. Not when he's here Elena." Stefan said resolutely and she sighed, beginning to understand just how frustrated they had both been when trying to get some time alone together. A large thud sounded above them and then a crash of furniture as they looked upwards. Stefan sighed and put his head in his hands.

"He's never going to forgive me for this." He said, his eyes filling with tears. She stroked his back and kissed his head soothingly.

"He's your brother, he loves you. He just needs time."

"He was so much more than that Elena, you can't understand."

"I know." She chewed her lip. Why even with compulsion was Stefan's prevailing thought still for Damon? She couldn't understand it. She could see they loved each other and Damon had been able to feed him and make love without any boundaries but she and Stefan had had a fierce love too.

"You're not changing your mind are you?" She whispered anxiously and he lifted his head and wiped away a tear as he shook his head.

"No, it's just hard. I need some time too." He explained and she sighed and felt herself deflate. She might not be alive tomorrow. Her sadness impacted him and he drew her into his arms and kissed her hair. He stood up and pulled her with him.

"Let's get out of here for a while. Do something human." He gave her a small smile and she nodded gratefully. As they left the boarding house Stefan looked up at Damon's window and sighed. Damon was watching them leave with a bottle of whiskey in his hand. He walked away from the window and Stefan took a deep breath and got into his car. They both just needed some time and these feelings were bound to die down. They had too.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As usual, everything in Mystic Falls had gone to shit. Stefan and Elena spent the day making love, trying to reconnect, but every time he came close to climax he saw Damon beneath him. It had taken all of his acting skills not to let Elena realise that.

Damon had gone off of the rails in a bad way and had managed to piss of just about every Allie they had.

Caroline and Tyler had been kidnapped by Klaus for what could only have been for the purposes of the ritual that night and Damon was left with the task of rescuing them while Stefan and Elena canoodled. It made him sick and angry. Why should he bother with any of this at all? Why was he still here? He should just walk away. Rick had been the only one to snap him out of his reverie – telling him to get a grip of himself and think about all of them. Even if Damon left them all to their fates now, there was no telling that Klaus wouldn't come looking for him and dispose of him too and if Stefan was killed…That woke him up. The thought of Stefan dying was too much to bear despite how much he equally loved and hated him. He reminded himself of his vow to himself from a long time ago. Stefan had forced him to live forever and so he was going to make sure that Stefan did too, otherwise he would be the one to kill him for everything that he'd done. He had to remember that and hold onto that vow even if there was nothing else keeping him here.

When Damon had found out that Stefan had offered himself as a substitute for Jenna, he'd lost his mind. Every thought or feeling of hate vanished as he panicked. This had been his fault – he'd managed to rescue Caroline and Tyler but Klaus had a plan B. He'd ran all the way into the woods, followed by a relatively calm Elijah, to find them, to offer himself instead, hoping that the fact he'd pissed off Klaus so royally on so many occasions would help his cause, when he heard Stefan screaming. His heart stopped and he ran as fast as he could into the clearing, bumping into Bonnie as she appeared as though from a mist beside him. Since he'd been off of the rails today she'd decided to plan her own strategy in case he screwed it up and he now felt very vulnerable and out of the loop.

Bonnie looked to him, unsurprised to see him there and she nodded quickly as she began to chant and stepped forward into Klaus's view. Elijah stepped up behind him and instructed him to grab Elena's body from the alter, distracting Klaus as he got behind him and killed him finally. Damon nodded and moved into the scene as Bonnie made Klaus fall to his knees screaming. Where was Stefan?! He looked around wildly, seeing Elena's body limp and lifeless and he went to her, lifting her up as Klaus growled and screamed at him. He blurred away from him to leave the job of killing him to Bonnie and Elijah. He didn't care either way, he was here for Stefan.

He spotted him finally beyond the smoke, lying in agony trying to move. Klaus had broken his back it seemed. Damon went to him and carefully lay Elena down next to him. Stefan reached out for her sobbing and Damon pulled the stake out of between his vertebra, enabling the healing process to begin. Stefan cried in pain as it healed and Damon held him gently, whispering words of comfort.

"Take her home, get her away from here." Stefan begged and Damon panted in grief. He wasn't going to leave him here!

"I'm not leaving you."

"Damon! Ahh!" He cried in pain. "Please save her." Stefan begged and Damon couldn't take the look of desperation in his eyes. He nodded and lifted her body as Stefan breathed and seemed to become calmer. He sat up.

"Come back home to me Stefan. If you die, I'll kill you." Damon ordered and Stefan gave him a look of love and anguish. Damon blurred away to safety and Stefan stood up shakily. Bonnie was chanting and flames were everywhere around them, he struggled to see. He moved towards the sound of her voice when he heard Elijah's voice too. He breathed in relief.

"For the memory of our family, this is the end for you brother." Elijah announced and plunged his fist into Klaus heart, ripping it out as Bonnie fell back and Stefan caught her. She was gasping and trying to remain upright but he could see how close she was to death. He lifted her into his arms as he looked on at the sight of Klaus's dead body and that of Elijah staring down at him.

A moment passed between them, amidst the death and flames and Stefan couldn't breathe. Elijah stood over his brothers' broken body holding his heart in his hand. This was a triumph, it was what was necessary for the greater good and yet, Elijah showed no such elation. Elijah looked down to Klaus and Stefan saw it for the first time. Indescribable grief. Stefan took a breath again and realised. It didn't matter how much pain you caused each other, how many awful things you had done, when you loved each other with such a bond, there would always be love even amongst anger and hate. It was a revelation. It was as though he was seeing himself standing above Damon's body holding his heart in his hand. Damon had done terrible things, he'd killed, hurt people, manipulated but Stefan had been the one to make him so vulnerable as to take his heart from him and kill him that way emotionally. Damon was dying inside and he was never going to get over it. Damon would love him forever. Stefan had made a decision he'd thought was for the greater good. Damon was the bad guy, Stefan was the good. It was as black and white as that sometimes, but it didn't change how much they would always feel for each other. They were bonded forever. No amount of time was going to ease that.

Stefan stepped backwards as he reeled from the thought and Elijah picked up Klaus's body and shed a tear as he held him to him and walked away, leaving Stefan to question his own fate, his own brother – the brother whom he'd taken to bed and loved and worshipped and made weak, made him feel and sacrifice everything and whom he'd also abandoned and left, expecting him to recover.

Bonnie sighed in tiredness and he came back to reality and blurred them back to his car. She needed blood and quick. He lay her in the passenger seat and she gave a weak smile of thanks. Then he smelled it. Every hair on his body stood on end as the scent of blood drifted to his nose. His eyes widened as he noticed the blood dripping from her ear. The spell had been so powerful as to be making her hemorrhage. His began to lose his calm as his veins appeared and he pulled back from her hyperventilating, trying to calm himself as he clutched at his throat. His throat burned in need for the blood and he knew he'd lose control.

_Oh god, oh god…Damon…_

He thought and then caught himself. Damon had always been there to stop him, to offer himself in return but Damon wasn't here and he'd never do that with him anymore. It was over. He pulled at his hair as he realised he was really on his own. Really and truly. Damon would never help him like that ever again after everything he'd done, after all of what they'd shared had been shredded by Stefan's change of mind.

"I can't do this, I can't do this!" He panted, talking to himself when he heard Bonnie call him weakly. She was dying, she was dying and he had to save her! He sobbed and tried to shake himself out of it as his body was propelled back towards her. She smelled so delicious. His mouth watered and his fangs descended. Her eyes were closed now and she was losing the fight as he leaned in towards her and inhaled her scent.

_You can control it Stefan, you just have to believe you can…_

_You've done it before, you've just forgotten that you can…_

_Control it Stefan!_

He heard Damon's voice replay in his head and he bit into his wrist and shoved it into her mouth as he breathed and held himself as tight as he could. He couldn't bare it much longer. Think of Damon…Think of Damon.

He pictured Damon in his bed again, smiling and laughing like they had done so long ago, before life had crashed into their bubble. As he remembered it he sobbed silently. They'd been so happy, so free. Bonnie stopped sucking and opened her eyes again and he pulled away safely and rubbed his eyes. Bonnie looked around disorientated and saw him. Instantly she smiled and realised what was happening.

"It's ok. We are going to be ok." Stefan croaked, pulling himself together as he got into the drivers' side and sped off back towards the boarding house. Back to the one he loved.


	22. Chapter 22

Thank you my lovelies. I hope that when I write my own original story for publication (which I'm going to start soon), that you'll give it a wee read and let me know what you think. All of your feedback has made me feel so confident and it's reflecting in my work here. Thank you for believing in me. You're all very special to me.

Claire bear

X

Chapter 22

Damon lay Elena down carefully and stroked her hair away from her face. He wanted so much to hate her, but somehow he couldn't. She looked so vulnerable and lost. He'd felt for her too in the past and she still had the ability to pull at his heart strings, until she'd taken Stefan from him. He knew that he was hardly innocent in it all either. After all, he had technically led Stefan down this path away from her too. They'd both suffered here. At least she had never been an instigator in it, just an innocent party to it all and for that reason he couldn't hate her now.

She opened her eyes with a start and grabbed him to her gasping and he cooed at her softly and reassured her. She realised she was at the boarding house and safe and she began to relax.

"How do you feel?" He tilted her chin and searched her eyes and she paused as she surveyed her body.

"I feel fine." She sighed in relief.

"It actually worked." Damon said in amazement about Elijah's potion. Who'd have thought? She smiled and looked around for Stefan and he sat back and reigned himself in again. They were going to have a reunion now and Damon didn't want to watch.

"He's ok. He's taking Bonnie home. He called." Damon said and she nodded and sat back in relief.

"He was hurt so bad, I thought…" She began to get emotional and Damon squeezed her knee.

"I got him."

She looked to him and they shared a brief moment of discomfort and almost rivalry all in their expressions alone. They looked away from each other in silence. Damon sighed and stood up, pacing slowly as she watched him. They couldn't go on like this.

"Klaus?" She asked.

"Dead."

"Really dead?"

"As a doorknob. Elijah killed him with Bonnie."

"It's finally over." She said relieved and on the verge of tears and he nodded.

"Yeah. Guess it is." He commented and she looked at him again. He was deliberating something but she couldn't tell what.

"What?"

"Guess, it's time for me to go. I said I'd stay till this was sorted." He said avoiding eye contact and she tensed suddenly.

"Wait, you're leaving again? What about Stefan?"

"What _about_ Stefan?" He said sounding annoyed and she sighed as she tried to get her brain working. It's true that she didn't want Damon to be able to interfere in their relationship, but she knew how much Stefan would be hurt and grieved if Damon left like this, without a resolution. She opened her mouth and gave out an unsure, anxious sound instead and he turned to her fully.

"Do you really hate me that much?" He asked honestly and she shook her head in confusion. "You want me to stay here and watch?" He asked incredulously and she realised that that was what she was asking him to do – stay here to keep Stefan happy even though she knew how much it would hurt him. Her conscience threw a pile of bricks onto her shoulders and she physically sagged from it as he awaited her response.

"Damon I…" She choked and began to cry. He tensed but held himself where he was. He couldn't be won over by tears this time. He had to protect himself from now on. "I'm so sorry!" She covered her mouth with her hand and he frowned and softened a little. "There's something I have to tell you!"

"It's ok Elena, I know you love him too." He said croakily and she put her head in her hands. That was the last of his strength gone right there, as he went to her an embraced her as she cried.

"No, I don't deserve this Damon. Not with what I did." She pulled away from his chest and he looked at her confused and concerned. She looked down at her fingers as she fidgeted. "I couldn't take it, seeing you two together. I felt like you'd stolen him from me, like you'd made him love you instead and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I couldn't give him my blood and help him like that."

He sighed and put his head in his hands tired by the constant struggle of all of this.

"Did you know that he would love you? Did you know it would happen?" She asked, trying to keep the accusatory tone out of her voice.

"No." He said and looked at her straight.

"Why didn't you stop it? Why did you let him?"

"I…I don't know..."

"You saw it was happening didn't you, before you started to feel something back and you let it happen." He stood up and paced again.

"It wasn't like that, we were having fun…we were in the moment. It just took over!" He defended and she looked down at her hands again.

"I really hated you. I wanted you to feel what it was like, but I never thought I'd feel like this."

"What?" He frowned and stopped pacing. She looked up at him and he clicked. His face straightened and she took a breath. "What did you do?" He whispered and she chewed her lip. "Elena what the hell did you do?" He said louder and she sighed in torment and swallowed.

"I asked Elijah to remind Stefan how much he loved me." She said, her guilt reflected in her voice as he fell silent in astonishment. She looked up to him as he processed it all. She was hoping that she'd see some relief on his face, or anger, anything, but he just stared at her dumbfounded.

"I didn't ask for him not to love you anymore, I just…I just wanted him to remember how much he felt for me too. He chose to break up with you and come back to me."

Damon gave a short clipped laugh, sounding slightly unhinged.

"So that's what it's all about then? This love from a Doppelganger. Nothing's real ever! Everything is manipulation and lies!" He barked and she recoiled in fear. Of course, she'd forgotten about Katherine and everything she had done to them. She'd never made that connection until now and she stood up horrified that he'd cast her as the same.

"No Damon please, it's not like that, I love him…"

"Huh!" Damon laughed again and held his hips but he was blind angry.

"I love him so much I didn't want to lose him! You would have done the same!" She defended and he looked at her as though he could kill her. She shrank backwards.

"I would never mess with his mind." He said coldly and with hate and she began to sob and pace herself. He held himself tight and tried to breathe. He wanted to kill her, but Stefan wouldn't ever forgive him. His cell phone wrang and he pulled it out of his pocket not even looking at the caller ID.

"What?" He hissed and Stefan answered in surprise.

"Damon? I'm on my way back, where are you? Is Elena ok?" Stefan asked concerned and Damon gritted his teeth together.

"Oh she's fine."

"I'll see you soon." Stefan hung up and Damon slid his cell back into his pocket, not taking his eyes off of her as he did. She held herself.

"What are we going to do?" She asked and he exhaled.

"_We _aren't going to do anything. You are going to tell him about this." He stated and she nodded anxiously. He stared at her another few minutes before he left the room and went into the kitchen to grab a blood bag from the fridge.

He lay his forehead against the cool metal of the fridge and closed his eyes. Everything made so much sense now. Stefan hadn't just suddenly had a change of heart. He hadn't stopped loving him. Still, he had broken up with him and went back to Elena and he hadn't been compelled to do that. Knowing about the compulsion took the sting out of the equation a little but didn't make everything ok. He sighed and moved away to sit down. Where did he go from here? He began to drink from his blood bag as he heard Stefan's car approach. He sighed and looked down at the table. He wanted to stay and hear this conversation but he didn't want to be involved in it. He wanted to make sure she told him, before he decided whether he was going to leave. He shook his head at himself.

Stefan came in the front door and called out for him. He raised his eyebrows at that, but remained seated.

"Elena." Stefan sighed and went to her, pulling her into his arms as she sighed. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." She reassured and swallowed as he checked her eyes for signs of anything spooky and unusual. She blushed feeling nauseated at what she was going to have to do.

"Where's Damon?" He asked and she blinked in surprise.

"Damon?" She called and heard him huff in annoyance from the kitchen. Stefan turned his head in surprise and moved to go see him when she caught his arm. "Stefan, I…I have to tell you something." She blurted and Stefan turned back to her. She released his arm and beckoned to him to come and sit down with her. He cast a look back towards the kitchen in confusion as to why Damon wasn't coming out to join them and he chewed his lip. He needed to talk to him, to tell him how he felt, but Elena needed him right now. He begrudgingly followed her to the sofa and sat down, feeling nervous.

"Stefan, you know how much I love you." She began and he gulped. She took his hands. "I'd do anything for you. When you came tonight to trade places with Jenna…" She paused as she realised. Jenna…She held her breath and tensed and he squeezed her hands in comfort and she shook her head. She'd think about all of that later. She needed to make this right first. "I was so scared of losing you too. I couldn't bare it Stefan. I love you soo much." She began to cry and he embraced her.

"I love you too." He whispered.

"It's because I love you so much that I hated Damon. I hated what happened between you. I still do. I'm sorry." She wept and he released her and kissed her forehead. She took a shaky breath.

"Just because I love him, doesn't mean I don't love you. You're so special to me." He stroked her face gently and she looked into his eyes and frowned a fraction at his use of words. He sighed and closed his eyes. "Elena, everything that's happened has been a real eye opener lately. I don't want this constant danger for you. I want you to have a normal human life – to have school and prom and friends who don't endanger you."

She frowned again and exhaled as he continued.

"Because of us, Caroline is vampire, Jenna is…" He trailed off as she blinked fresh tears down her face. "Klaus is dead. Katherine's probably left by now because her compulsion will have worn off now that he's dead. Technically, you're a Doppelganger but there's no one to use that against you anymore. You and Jeremy can rebuild your lives together and live."

"What are you saying Stefan?" She whispered.

"I don't want any more supernatural interference in your life." She cupped her face gently. "Including me." She gasped and began to cry again. "Elena, I'm not good for you. I don't belong. We're not the same. Damon and I…" He trailed off, gulping at her pain and Damon walked into the lounge gobsmacked at what he was saying. He turned to look at him. Damon looked pale and in shock.

"Damon and I belong together." Stefan said, looking Damon in the eye as Damon reeled and chewed his lip. He turned back to Elena who was now flushed with emotion and fidgeting with her hands.

"There's something you need to know." She whispered. "This wasn't all your choice."

"What?" He asked.

"Elijah compelled you to love me again." She couldn't look in his eyes and he stood up sharply, staring at her as his throat began to close. She looked up at him. "I didn't want to lose you. I asked him to remind you how much you loved me." His mouth hung open in horror and he looked to Damon. Damon was looking down at the ground. He looked back to Elena again as he tried to breathe. There were no words. He didn't know what to say, how to feel. He walked to the fireplace shaking and weak at the knees and leaned against it.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered full of regret.

Damon felt awkward and unsure of what he should here. He propelled himself forward and went to Stefan's side. Stefan closed his eyes. He squeezed his shoulder but didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry." Stefan whispered and Damon looked back to Elena. "Damon." Stefan added and looked at him. Damon looked surprised and taken aback. Stefan turned towards him and held him at his arms as Damon swallowed and looked at him unsure.

Elena rose from the sofa, wiping her eyes and holding herself.

"We've all been through a lot today. Maybe we should get some rest." Damon suggested nervously and both Stefan and Elena looked to him. Damon gave Stefan a tight lipped smile and squeezed his arms back, pulling away from him and leaving to go up to his room. Stefan watched him go.

"I love him Elena." Stefan said quietly. "I thought what we had was better, more sensible. I wanted it to work. Even when we tried this again, I still couldn't stop thinking about him. Whatever Elijah did wasn't enough." He said pointedly and she nodded and held herself tighter. "I have no idea how to feel about this. None, but I do know that I want you to leave." He said calmly and she choked and nodded again.

"Please forgive me Stefan. I'm not Katherine. I just wanted to love you." She croaked and he exhaled.

"I know that, but this is too much Elena." He sighed. "Please go." She nodded and walked away slowly, hoping he'd call her back as she went but he didn't. She closed the door behind her and left. He lingered in the lounge for a while, unsure of what to do next as he paced. Would Damon forgive him for leaving him? He couldn't tell. Should he rest before trying to get him back? He did feel exhausted, but he doubted he'd be able to.

He ascended the stairs and knocked on Damon's door. Damon didn't answer. He went in anyway. He needed to say something now, he couldn't wait. Damon was looking out of his window with his back turned and didn't turn around when he entered. Stefan closed the door behind him and lay back resting against it.

"Funny how things never work out the way you'd think." Damon pondered out loud and Stefan kept silent. "I expected shouting and hysterics."

"That could still happen." Stefan said.

"She's gone." Damon pointed out and Stefan chewed his lip.

"Doesn't mean I won't get hysterical."

"Yeah." Damon gave a clipped chuckle. "Everything's fucked."

"It doesn't have to stay that way. Damon, I meant everything I said down there." Stefan willed him to turn around. Damon tightened but still didn't turn around. "Damon. I love you."

"You've said that before. Everybody says that."

"Forgive me please." Stefan pleaded. "I don't deserve it but I need it." Damon turned around finally but his expression gave nothing away.

"How can I trust you? Why the hell should I?"

"Because you love me too and you know that I know this is my last chance." Stefan said and Damon narrowed his eyes. "You know that I'll do anything to get you back, that I'll gladly tear out my own heart and give it to you, because it's yours. It belongs to you. It has all along, despite the compulsion I wanted you."

"Then why did you leave me?" Damon said through his teeth and scowled at him.

"Because I thought she was the most sensible choice. I was trying to hide from myself again, like I always do. I've been doing it for so long, it's hard to shake the habit."

"Well I've hated you for a long time and that's a hard habit to shake too!" Damon hissed at him and Stefan swallowed painfully.

"I know." Stefan agreed as Damon became irritated. "We don't have to be ruled by anything anymore. We can choose."

"We _did_ choose and then you changed your mind."

"I will never leave you again." Stefan said slowly and concisely and Damon huffed and folded his arms. "You know what? I'm not going to get hysterical. It's a waste of energy because it won't change anything. I don't want you to make your decision based on that." Stefan said calmly. He'd never felt so calm actually. Everything felt clear, as clear as day. Damon squinted at him.

"I love you brother." Stefan said and got down onto his knees as Damon's eyes widened in amazement. He looked up at him waiting as Damon opened his mouth to speak and let out a puff of air.

"Get up Stefan."

"Not until you take me back." Stefan said and Damon frowned.

"Stand up for god sake." Damon huffed and Stefan just looked up at him. Damon walked over and pulled him to his feet and Stefan searched his eyes in longing. "You are such a fucking idiot brother."

"I'm your fucking idiot." Stefan whispered and Damon sighed and chewed his lip. Stefan reached up and ran his finger through Damon's hair. Damon closed his eyes.

"I'm leaving Stefan, really leaving this time. I don't want to be here anymore. There's too much baggage, too much history." Damon opened his eyes again and Stefan clenched his jaw.

"Then I'm coming with you."

"Stefan…" Damon grunted and Stefan cupped his face in both hands.

"I'm coming with you."

"I don't want you to."

"I don't care." Stefan said and Damon huffed in surprise. "I'm a selfish bastard that wants you. I've always been selfish and now I'm finally realising it. I don't deserve you, but I don't care. I'll follow you wherever you go until I can prove to you I'll never hurt you again." Damon listened with his heart in his throat as Stefan smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

Damon took a breath and closed his eyes, removing Stefan's hands and stepping back. Stefan let him digest it all and Damon walked out of the room. Stefan followed him silently as he walked down the stairs.

"I need to think." Damon said and blurred out of the door into the woods. Stefan sat down calmly and waited. He'd sit here all day if he had to until Damon came back.


	23. Chapter 23

Last chapter guys…

Chapter 23 TDT

Stefan waited all morning, watching the sky change from blacks to reds as the sun rose and Damon didn't come home. At first he waited patiently, then a little nervously and now he was lost in full blown fear and anxiety. Damon had left without saying goodbye before, he could do it again. Stefan kept himself busy, not leaving the lower floor in case Damon came back in. He tidied the kitchen that neither of them really used, he did some laundry and moved some of Damon's blood bags from the basement up to the kitchen fridge. It was all he could do to stop himself exploding in misery. The hours ticked past and Stefan curled into himself on the sofa feeling sorry for himself. It wasn't fair to ask Damon just to jump right back into his arms. He'd really hurt him. They'd overcome so many barriers to being together including their own fears and human ties and once they'd finally been a couple, Stefan had walked away. Well, at least he understood why he'd suddenly begun to realise that Elena was the smarter choice. He had loved her and the compulsion added to that, but Damon had done nothing wrong but fall in love and trust him.

He sobbed to himself for a little while as the fire crackled and he watched the flames dance in the hearth. He'd never noticed how much it looked like the flames were dancing before. Even the shadows behind them were dancing. The longer he stared the more he thought they were alive and sentient and he had to close his eyes for a minute and refocus. He sat up and looked at his watch. Damon had been gone for 10 hours now. He sighed and stood up, dragging his feet up the stairs towards Damon's room. He opened the door and inhaled his scent. He walked inside and towards the window to look out across the woods. As he approached the window he tripped over some things lying on the ground and he reached down and lifted one in annoyance.

It was a pillar candle. He looked around his feet and noticed a whole group of them and remembered Damon's affection for them. It didn't seem right to bring Damon flowers – he wasn't a girl, but candles – they would be romantic and beautiful too. He quickly grabbed them all in his arms and moved back down the stairs. He wanted to make love in Damon's bed like always, but he needed a bigger gesture this time. It needed to be hugely inviting for Damon. He blurred around the house finding every candle he could and moved them all downstairs arranging them from the front door in towards the living room almost like they were to lead someone in. It didn't escape Stefan's notice just how it looked a little like an aisle but he didn't care. Once the trail brought you through to the lounge Stefan moved the sofa back to form a protective bubble around the fireplace where Stefan had lain a blanket and some cushions and two glasses filled with Damon's favourite bourbon – the one he'd been hiding now that Stefan had taken to drinking more of his bourbon now. Stefan stepped back and review it, it looked pretty. The only problem was the sunshine outside – it was mid day by now and would be too light for hours for the candles to have the full effect. He grunted and folded his arms in thought.

He moved to close the heavy drapes they had when he noticed the trees in the garden and had an idea. He ran out and collected his last piece of decoration and came back in and prepared himself, lighting candles and putting more logs onto the fire to keep it burning. He was ready. He took a last look around and ran up stairs to have a quick shower.

As Damon walked back towards the house he felt himself tense and nauseous. He'd made his decision and it wasn't going to go down well. They needed to stop this and be brothers again. It was too much strain keeping this up, justifying this love they had. It would wear them down. He could smell burning as he approached the door and moved inside quickly when he was startled by candlelight. He blinked in surprise and looked around, following the trail glowing and guiding him as he felt his heart squeeze. He could hear Stefan up in his room moving around and he paused as he got to the lounge and saw the rest of the room. The whole room was scented with Palmarosa and Geranium – Damon's favourite and was candlelit beautifully. There were even old fairy lights Damon had stuffed away from a party months before, glittering delicately around the mantel piece. Damon took a deep breath as he stepped towards the fire to look at them and saw the blanket. His eyes filled with tears and he bit his lip. He brought his hands to his face and sighed.

Stefan descended the stairs and Damon dropped his hands and tried to compose himself as Stefan paused at the foot of the stairs.

"You came back." Stefan whispered and Damon nodded in acknowledgement but didn't turn around. "Are you going to stand their all night?" Stefan voice was strained.

"It's day time." Damon mumbled and looked to the blanket and cushions again.

He could hear Stefan's breathing becoming more erratic and he closed his eyes and turned around to look at him finally. Stefan looked so prepared, so ready for heartbreak as Damon took in the sight of him. It looked like he hadn't slept or eaten. Then he noticed Stefan was holding something in his hand and he frowned at it. Stefan opened his hand and looked down at his palm giving a small smirk to himself.

"I thought this might be romantic." Stefan mumbled and looked to him sadly. Damon clenched his jaw and Stefan held his hand out for him to see. Damon's eyes widened and he gave a smile of delight. Stefan smiled too and threw it over to him. Damon caught it in his hand and admired it – a ripe plump cherry.

"I hoped there might be a cherry on the cake tonight." Stefan confessed and Damon's heart constricted as he looked at him.

He took a deep breath and blurred to him, grabbing him into his arms as Stefan gasped in surprise and desperation. Damon kissed him passionately as they fell back into wall and knocked things off of the side board. They didn't care, nothing matters but their mouths and their bodies touching. They both began to moan and pull at each others' clothes as they grabbed at each other, kissing furiously until they were both so excited they couldn't contain it anymore and Damon tore Stefan's jeans off and entered him. Stefan tilted his head back and cried out in rapture as they had the roughest sex they'd had for a long time, breaking mirrors and cabinets against walls as Damon's thrusting shook the ground beneath them. Stefan opened his mouth and screamed in pleasure. It didn't matter who heard now. Their fangs filled their mouths and they bit each other and growled like animals until they tired themselves out and collapsed beside each other.

Stefan groaned a little at the aches and pains in his body and Damon began to kiss every bruise or bite.

"Drink from me." He panted and Stefan looked at his neck in longing. "You can't hurt me and I want you to have this." Damon reassured and Stefan lost himself in heat and grabbed him, feeding noisily as Damon flopped on top of him.

Damon sagged a little and closed his eyes, happy to be rendered unconscious right now if it meant Stefan could have this, when Stefan pulled his mouth away and rolled them over. He held Damon tenderly and kissed him again gently this time.

"Make love to me." Stefan whispered and Damon smiled in surprise and pride in Stefan's control.

They pulled each other up for the floor and moved towards the fireplace, carefully avoiding the candles. They sat down and faced each other as they calmed. Stefan handed him a glass of bourbon and Damon chuckled and sipped at it as Stefan arranged the cushions behind Damon to make him comfortable.

"I thought maybe you were gone." Stefan said and Damon looked at him seriously again and stroked his cheek.

"I almost was."

"I wouldn't have blamed you." Stefan croaked and Damon pulled him forward for a gentle kiss again.

"I came back here to leave you." Damon whispered and Stefan's eyes filled with tears. "But then I knew that if I saw you, I'd lose my head. I wanted to sneak in and leave without you knowing. Old habits."

"And now?" Stefan blinked some tears down his face and Damon brought their foreheads together.

"Who will you complain about in your diary if I'm not here to annoy you?" Damon kissed his cheek and nuzzled his neck as Stefan began to relax. "Who'll let you have sex with them on the damn stairs? Who'll love you till it makes them want to tear their own hair out, it's so consuming and intense?" Damon pulled back and held his face as Stefan smiled and closed his eyes.

"Who'll kill you if you ever leave me again?" Damon whispered and bit into his neck as Stefan gasped in surprise and held Damon to steady himself. Damon drank slowly enjoying him as Stefan's own fangs ached. He panted and began to pump Damon until he was hard again and Damon pulled back, teeth still showing. Stefan licked his own blood from around Damon's lips as Damon breathed and enjoyed Stefan's hand movements. Stefan became more vampire again as he bit into Damon's shoulder and sped up his movements and Damon began to climax. He quickly grabbed Stefan's hands and pulled them away to stop himself from releasing and Stefan pulled back in surprise as Damon breathed down his need to climax.

"What's wrong?" Stefan panted and Damon shook his head.

"This is about us, not me." He said and Stefan smiled and pulled him on top of him onto the cushions comfortably as they kissed and stroked each other.

Everything felt so right, their bodies melted together, fit together perfectly as they made love and whispered words of love to each other until all of the candles burnt down. Stefan had always wanted to make love in front of a roaring fire and it was exactly what he'd wanted. He lay looking up at Damon's face as the light from the flames cast different colours on his skin. Every bead of sweat on Damon's neck and chest glittered and made him appear to glow as he moved inside of him and tilted his head back. Stefan lost count of how many times they climaxed together and napped in each others' arms, still to awake to the fire glowing and warming them.

He'd missed this so much and the feeding was so incredible. Perhaps they had always been made for each other. They gave each other what they both needed. Damon yearned for physical love to feel complete and accepted and Stefan yearned for blood to allow him to be who he really was and not hold back. Together they created symmetry so powerful they had their own flame, their own heat. They could give the fire a run for its money, especially when they made love like this. Damon snoozed comfortable in Stefan's arms, between his legs as Stefan stared up at the ceiling and sent thanks to the universe for his brother. His brother who'd cared for him since he was born, raised him better than their father, been his best friend, then his rival, then his enemy, now turned the love of his life. He closed his eyes and sighed, bringing his legs around Damon's back and squeezing him against him. Damon grunted sleepily and buried his head in Stefan's neck still sleeping.

This was the most real love he'd ever felt. It'd even managed to win out compulsion and Stefan didn't think that'd ever be possible. They had something special here and Stefan realised he'd give anything to keep that, even if it meant really leaving Mystic Falls. He brought his legs back down tiredly and Damon instinctively tried to move to his side, but Stefan held him with his arms and stroked his back gently and Damon sighed and melted into him again. He loved sleepy Damon the best, he was so huggy and gentle. Stefan closed his eyes and fell asleep in bliss.

When Stefan opened his eyes Damon was still snuggled into him and he smiled and wrapped his legs around his back again, keeping him as close as possible. Damon sighed and flexed his hips into him sleepily. Stefan stroked his hands down and held Damon's bottom squeezing it and Damon hummed. Damon had the smoothest most blemish free skin he'd ever seen. Damon lifted his head and kissed him, his eyes still closed and still groggy but evidently still relaxed and full of want for him. Stefan sighed into his mouth and began to rock upwards into him as he felt Damon's body respond.

"Stay with me forever." Stefan whispered as Damon kissed his neck and jaw and Damon hummed. "Promise me."

Damon growled in the back of his throat and brought his arms under Stefan's back to tilt him up and into his growing erection.

"Say it." Stefan sighed and Damon looked down at his face, studying him.

"Forever."

"I wish I could marry you." Stefan closed his eyes and Damon gave out a chuckle.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Marriage is for humans Stefan, plus I'm your brother."

"And my lover." Stefan opened his eyes again. "Not all human traditions are superfluous."

"Are you serious?" Damon searched his eyes and Stefan looked up at him innocently. "Stefan we don't need that. I'm yours."

"Yeah." Stefan said and gave a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. Damon stroked his face and kissed him gently.

"I'm not the marrying kind, plus who'd be the girl?"

"This is 2013 brother. There doesn't have to be a girl."

"It'd have to be you Stef. I'm too manly and buff not to be in a tuxedo." Damon teased and Stefan gave a tight smile. Damon chuckled before realising that Stefan was being sincere. He sat up on his arms and searched his face again. Stefan looked up at him silently.

"Stefan, we can't do that. It's too weird. I love you, but no." Damon said a little nervous at Stefan's continuing silence.

Stefan nodded and reached up for him but Damon felt a little perturbed now and kissed him quickly before climbing off of him and standing up. Stefan sat up in confusion and Damon ran his hands through his hair.

"Don't pull away from me." Stefan said gently and Damon smirked and lifted one of the glasses of bourbon left over from last night.

"I'm not running." He said, taking a drink of the liquid and sighing in enjoyment. "How did you find my stash?" He raised an eyebrow and Stefan blinked not hearing him.

"Damon this is everything you've always wanted. Everything you've been denied, let me give it to you." Stefan said and Damon frowned at him, feeling vulnerable and exposed.

"You are everything I need Stefan." He said gently and Stefan smiled.

"I want to be able to vow to you how our life will be, how much I'll look after you and love you forever."

"Stefan…" Damon sighed and rubbed his eyes sounding slightly exasperated. "…I don't want to play human."

"Good because you suck at it." Stefan said back and Damon gave a smirk.

"Suck being the relative word."

"I love you. I'm going to protect you, make love to you, follow you anywhere you want to go and I'm going to give you the respect you deserve always." Stefan stood up. "I want to bathe you, feed you, take care of every need you'll ever have just like you've always done for me."

Damon felt a little overwhelmed and emotional as Stefan began to make his vows. He didn't know what to say, how to reciprocate. This wasn't his area, his expertise. No one had ever spoken like this to him before – even Katherine. He felt a little afraid and Stefan leaned into him and held him, whispering into his ear as he felt himself shiver. Stefan kissed his shoulder and neck and Damon let out a shaky breath.

"I don't know how to do this." He said unsure and flustered and Stefan stroked his back and kissed his shoulder again.

"It's ok, just make me one promise."

"What?"

"No Elena, no talking about it." Stefan whispered and Damon pulled him back and frowned at him feeling hurt. Was Stefan joking or was he trying to make this deal again? Stefan cupped his face in concern and confusion. "I don't want to talk about what happened with her. It's over. All there is, is you." Stefan explained and Damon softened in relief.

Stefan stroked through his hair tenderly and Damon closed his eyes and leaned into his fingers. Stefan kissed his cheeks down to his jaw and around to his neck and bit down, making Damon's eyelids flutter as his body hummed.

"We fix each other you and I." Damon sighed and squeezed him to his chest. Stefan hummed and got lost in feeding while Damon surrendered his will to him. He slid his ring off of his finger, flicking his eyes over to the drapes to make sure they were closed. Thankfully Stefan had come up with his insane candlelit sex session during the middle of a hot summer day plan, as otherwise the light would have posed a problem here. He held his ring tight in his hand and gave a small moan as Stefan licked his neck and pulled back to kiss him. Damon broke the kiss quickly and moved a step back grabbing Stefan's hand. Stefan raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"I can't do a wedding thing, but I can give you this." Damon said and slid his ring onto Stefan's finger. Stefan watched in amazement and glanced over to check the drapes worriedly, mercifully they were thick and secure. He brought his own hand up and removed his ring too, slipping it onto Damon's finger. They smiled at each other and clasped their hands. Their rings were very similar anyway but this act was still very powerful and meaningful. To Damon, it seemed a little unnecessary but he could see how much it meant to Stefan and that was motivation enough.

"Your fingers are big." Stefan scrunched up his nose in jest and Damon huffed in amusement and pulled him into him sharply.

"That's because I have a big appetite. We need to fatten you up brother." Damon grinned and showed his fangs and Stefan let his descend too. "Feel like being a vampire today?"

Stefan nodded and let veins protrude. Damon growled seductively and tilted his head towards the kitchen.

"Husband where is my dinner? I've got a hungry vampire groom to feed all night so I'm gonna need at least 4 blood bags." Damon growled and Stefan felt his body tingle.

Damon released him and he moved around the sofa heading towards the kitchen for blood before he realised how easily he'd succumbed to orders. He walked out to find Damon rearranging their cushions. He grinned to himself, placing the blood bags on the floor and jumped on top of Damon surprising him as they fell to the floor. He sat on top and pinned him down as Damon stared up at him.

"Husband shut your mouth and do as you're told or I might just drink your last drop like a 50s virgin in a Hammer movie." He growled and Damon grinned back at him challengingly and hummed in mirth.

"I think marriage is going to be interesting after all."

FIN


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